Venting

Imma get right into it….. The Male Species, the whole lot of them are bastards for real, as in this is not some kind of feminine emancipation or some shit, but how r u married to someone for 13years/ moreand decides to end it with a note and you fly away. I'm sorry how is this fair, nice, respectful, uncowardly? Like r u kidding me? This is why I will still respect a woman till today, because most will say it to your face, even though it hurts them to, they just won't run away and send the divorce papers by mail…jeez, can I just stay single and adopt kids already? Cos umm it gets harder to trust as I grow older …and by the way ladies, ladies it's a bloody freaking lie that you can marry a man that doesn't make more than you and is less ambitious than you…it doesn't work…..ok done with this topic
I like an honest man, I really do ….a man that just straight up tells u all he wants from u is sex and maybe the occasional sumone to hang with is a winner in my book….he is much better than a man who wastes your time and your emotions only to find out that all he wanted from u was sex and the occasional sumone to hang with….now with that said I can't do fuck buddies, I'm sorry I can't….btw it is hella flattering, isn't it? I was beginning to think I wasn't desirable enough. And again ladies, ladies except you guys are married, as in proper married & only after numerous extensive tests, should you have unprotected sex, yes it feels better but you have to be selfish about your future and your health, cos mmm go and get some std or God forbid HIV and see if a man will come near you then… ok done with this topic
So people, there is no excuse for one to be dirty o, and just because you shower each day, doesn't make you a clean person, if your surroundings e.g car, purse, room is not clean. Imagine going into sumone's car and all of a sudden you start to feel ants crawling on your body….omydays, terror ….I can't give you the full gist sha but people, hmm this was serious….lets endeavor to be clean please, por favor….ok done with this topic

So tell me why I am still having the itches and swelling, that I thought was once poison ivy…..the Devil is a liar, been in and out of the hospital…nonsense Doctors they don't know what's wrong with me? Just keep giving me medicine, I am on steroids o, can u imagine. The first day I took it, didn't know the side effect was to reopen ulcer wounds, I thought I was going to die…I hate pain, I can tell you right now nobody is allowed to be in the room with me when I am about to deliver…I will nearly kill somebody that day, I can only pray God makes it's a very easy delivery….It's why I couldn't make it for our Music Monday, and I do apologize…..

Speaking of which….Suru, if you would like to do the last one for the year…that will be nice and greatly appreciated….. and just to show how mad I am and how I can just switch my Music "Monday" today is some old skool classic Christian music…even unbelievers and Muslims alike, knew these if you were born in Naija that is…I do thank God for everything I am nothing without him and it feels like a great way to show that through all the complaints I have every reason to be happy and just say Thank You Jesus

Ron Kenoly – Mourning into Dancing


Best Song ever, plus the instruments used back in them days, I don't even think they have it again….plus see the outfits and hair styles, lol…I remember watching him live when he came to Naija, heard he was in town this year as well…..
Don Moen – God is Good


Beautiful Song, again with the instruments and outfits, but you can feel the presence of God I tell you, when they sing, like he was right there
Psalty kid's Praise- Love is the greatest gift of all


My brother rocks for still remembering this, but I loved loved Psalty till I was about 13 walahai – they made me want to go to church and love to dance….I wonder what kids of nowadays listen to now, cos this right here taught us the word, and was fun ….they had the best song "Cast my cares upon you" "If I were a butterfly" ….Xmas present hint people, Seek Ye First DVD by Psalty kids chorus...it's like $6bucks, thank u, thank u
Stomp - Kirk Franklin

Ummm do I need to talk about this song? This revolutionized Christian music forever and will forever be a classic…
That's its folks, its all I got…..Feliz Navidad, I will speak to you on Christmas Day, enjoy your holidays all, and God will bless and protect you….

P.S. …I miss you RocNaija, where art thou? The holidays is not a good time for people to be A.W.O.L guys, I get worried…..

P.P.S…. I Love you all, thanks for everything…the year couldn't have been awesome without you…

My Life According to India Arie by Tricia

Growing up my dad influenced a lot of the music I listened to. He was a hip hop kind of guy so I listened to a lot of Tupac, Biggy, TLC, Snoop Dogg, Bone Thugs, and Fugees. But just like change, I inevitably grew up and chose my own path. I discovered neo-soul and feel deeply in love with it.

Here is my life according to India Arie. Her songs speak to me; some have ushered me into and out of certain phases in my life. So here's my life according to her:

Artist:                     India Arie

Are you male or female:        'Because I am a Queen'

Describe yourself:                       'Simple'

How do you feel:                     'Beautiful Flower'

Describe where you live:              'Ghetto'

If you could go anywhere where would you go?      'Back to the Middle'

Your favorite colour:                   'Yellow'

Favourite time of day:         'Good Morning'

If your life was a TV show what would it be called?    'The Truth'    

Your favorite form of transportation:              'Can I Walk with You'

Your Best Friend is:                  'Good Man'

What is life to you?            'Beautiful Surprise'

Your relationships:                  'Complicated Melody'

Looking for:                         'Strength, Courage& Wisdom'

You love him because:            'He Heals Me'

I have:                              'Brown Skin'

Wouldn't mind:                    'Therapy'

Your fear:                        'Long Goodbyes'

What is the best advice you have to give:                  'This Too Shall Pass'

If you could change your name, what would you change it too?    'Pearls'

Thought of the day:                           'Psalms 23'

My souls present condition:        'Purify Me'

My Motto:                                      'God is Real'

You will post this as:                'Voyage to Tricia!'

Please join in and tag someone else. Choose an artist you like, cleverly answer the questions and try not to repeat a song title.

……………………………….

Hi guys, how you doing? What you just read was the much anticipated Special Music Monday by my first guest on the Blog: Ms Tricia. One of the reasons I love blogsville is that I will never have met her otherwise…she lives and resides in Kenya if im not mistaken and we have formed a friendship like no other…isn't that just amazing… plus i would have never have listened to this many India Arie songs as much as i love her - here Is a little bit about her in her own words….please go check out her blog, she has some of the most inspirational stuff you will ever find on blogsville and you can follow her on twitter @ http://twitter.com/kenyandiva/ …….Thanks so much Tricia, I really appreciate this

About Me:

I'm Patricia M. I blog at Pages of My Journal mainly about life and the issues of life with everyday reflections…Life is a beautiful struggle and I'm very passionate about it.

……………………………………………….

Please let me know if you are interested in doing a Music Monday Post as well – I will greatly appreciate some diversity and new insight to different genre or just your outlook to music. Hope you all are having a blessed week…Be Safe…

P.S. I am extra excited about Christmas now….just something about this season

P.P.S I LOVE YOU

Special Monday

Final Straw – The End to "Our Journey"

You open the book and you start to read,

"Ours is entirely very simple, no spoken promises of tomorrow. You see ours is just an ordinary love….boy meets girl….boy chases girl….girl falls in love……boy does to….." THE BEGINNING

This is a year later, fast forward and it will read "boy gets tired of relationship, falls out of love…… girl still in love, forced out of relationship". THE END

There was no ever happy after, no wedding bells, no honeymoon – just nauseating smell of regret and hopes crushed, unmet desires and broken dreams.

Maybe that was part of the problem, I put too much into this as I always do and although there were no tears, sorrow was abound for what couldn't be.

In my mental maze, I retraced steps and couldn't quite find out what junction either of us lost the will to fight for love. Headed in the same direction we were, but then we got stuck in traffic, stagnant for too long.

Patience waned and in the boiling sun, the wants and needs of each person became like the need of a cold glass of refreshing water….

Instead of us looking to each other to wade through the traffic, we took diverse roads….

Me clinging, starving for his attention…

He withdrawn and nonchalant…

Until such a time where we both realized we were heading in opposite directions

No more late night phone calls, sexually laced text messages, half - naked pictures

No more visits overseas, mind-blowing sex, fights over sports teams, dirty dancing

Instant desire to delete and erase all memories of him instantly overwhelm me

Click…Delete ….Fb

Click…Delete….Blackberry

Click…Delete….Skype

Click…Delete…hotmail

Click...Delete…my heart

Chapter closed and I know my heart will never feel the same

You close the book and feel the pain.

………………………………………………………
Hello guys, how r u doing? First off I want to say thank you for all the comments on the last two posts, I have replied each individually as is my custom, never mind that its very late. Today is usually Music Monday, and I am sorry I wasn't able to deliver on that but it's only because we have a guest writer and due to lack of communication on my part, we will not have that till tomorrow….My BAD – so please come back tomorrow.

As you know, I had been writing a love story which like I said was partly inspired by my story and that of friends. -(yes partly cos even though its true HE and I decided to be friends, we haven't seen since we started talking and of course had sex) Here are the links to previous post, if u want to know where this is coming from. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11

Hope you all had a splendid weekend, wishing you the best for the rest of the week. Excited for work tomorrow, cos I learn new stuff….plus I met a guy, heheheh nothing o, still stuck on HE naturally, but I think it's funny that he is the first person I have met in over 2yrs other than He that I have liked, enough to think o more than just friends – maybe its cos I liked HE, I never really looked at anyone else….

P.S – I have some blonde streaks in my hair hehehehehe

P.P.S – I Love You

Waiting & Anyone

"I do not love u as if u were salt-rose, or topaz, or d arrow of carnations…I love u because I know no other way."~Neruda.

Waiting

Waiting on spontaneous

Sorta like deciding to bungee jump

Waiting on new and different

Sorta like Google Wave

Waiting on mesmerizing and captivating

Sorta like a great movie or show

Waiting on understanding and attentive

Sorta like a parent with his/her child

Waiting on lasting and forever

Sorta like the love God has toward us

Waiting on gentle and kind

Sorta like what a deer represents

Waiting on peace and calm

Sorta like the gentle waves of the sea

Waiting on friendship and trust

Sorta like a dog and its owner

Waiting on passion and fire

Sorta like the wildfires across California

Waiting on

Well, waiting on You!!!!



            Anyone

Anyone with EYES could see the aura around me

    Bright shimmering display of LIGHTS

Reminiscent of a fully decorated Christmas display

Red, Yellow, Orange, COLORS

    COLORS that represent happiness, passion, ecstasy

   

    Anyone with a HEART could see mines

        Overflowing with JOY

    Repeated rhythmic contractions with all the

        Energy and excitement that comes with LOVE



    Anyone who has ever Loved could see that I was in love

        Completely, totally, UNASHAMEDLY

    I shined, SPLENDENT in it

        Deeply, Drunkenly, Obsessively

   

            ANYONE but you

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

I am over all the mushy feelings don't worry – I just write these kind of poems better than dark ones, even when my mood is dark, just can never seem to put it down on paper – how's ur week so far, and yes I am feeling better thanks for the love. Now imma try to go to bed, cos I have tp be up in like 3hrs or less. Take care and have a great day ahead

#Nowplaying – On Repeat all day and I'm sure all of tomorrow – " I Invented Sex Remix" Trey Songz ft Usher and Keri Hilson

P.S. I Love You

#MM: One Hit Wonders

Hello fellow bloggers, friends, family, colleagues and foes alike – welcome to today's edition of Music Monday – lol, I just cracked myself up – my opening line just reminded me of that debate show on tv in Nigeria – u remember – Speak Out (trying to remember the song)
So what's good folks? How was your weekend? This past week I have had many emotions flowing through me – I haven't wanted to post anything lest anyone see inside of me - and then starting Wednesday I started itching by Thursday 'it" was all over my body starting from my face to my toes – so bad I couldn't go to work on Friday – best friend is a nurse and she thought "it" was poison ivy so I was covered in calamine lotion and still on Benadryl, didn't even go to church on Sunday.

Speaking of best friends – how comfortable are you with your close guy friend, dating your close girl friend? And when I mean close I mean I alone know them better than anyone else in the world does, including their family members and even if they are not so close – does it place any pressure on you? I personally love it and I am ok with it – I personally think it's a match made in heaven, flaws and all included. But God forbid things don't work out, I wonder where I will be and if my allegiance will ever be questioned. So as not to find out, I am going down on my kneels to pray to God that it does indeed work-out. I wonder whose side I will be on at the wedding – lol (yes o, I have already planned it out for them). It says something about me though, cos I am not jealous, I don't feel like it takes anything from their individual relationship with me. And I find it funny when friends of either them complain or even if they don't say it out loud, act out cos they think I am somehow disturbing the relationship they have with them.

Speaking of relationship, I am single o – jeez, not like we ever said we were dating – but the realization dawned over the weekend that I can talk to other guys, give them my number, grind on a guy – owwwwwwweeeee its on – I'm excited, plus I like that I am working now, I feel even more independent hahah, I love my life – I see people doing all their lovey dovey "o I miss my baby, my baby is the best, I love waking up to my baby" and I am not even bothered no more – I feel like I longed for that so long – now I just want to relax and enjoy – for real – I could go the next year without no boy, might do me some good- but this no kissing business is becoming long sha, lol - like my mum said it will come to me (she apologized btw, she is so cool)

Now on to the Music - anyone excited about getting the Chris Brown CD tomorrow? I am – nways I am hoping you all haven't read the post on yahoo – billboard.com put together a list of the one hit wonders of the decade and I must say wow, for real where did these folks go? – note that they defined one hit wonders as not having another song in the top 25 on any chart, so even if u heard them around, they never really did quite as well as the first time – and I am going to share some of my favorites from the list. Enjoy

This was actually #1 on the list – Gosh I loved this song, know every single word to it too – Daniel Powter - Bad Day

#4 on the list Is Mims - This is why I'm hot – and I reckon this was not so appropriate – it's safe to say 'this why you're not' Mims - lol

#12 on the list is Cassie – Me and U – I mean if you don't know and didn't love this song and the video gan – u must have been under the rock – really surprised she has never been top 25 with any song since, hmmm

#24 was by Vanessa Carlton – A thousand Miles – in my opinion she doesn't ever have to sing again – this song forever remains a classic and just genius

#25 was by Ruff Endz – No More – love love love this song – hahah it was too real jo

#29 was by Tweet – Ooops(Oh My) I really didn't think she was going to make it so I guess it makes sense – she is gay abi? And the song was about her touching herself abi? Lol

And that's it folks some of my favorites from the list, check the rest out on http://www.billboard.com/#/../../features/one-hit-wonders-of-the-2000s-page-1-1004051216.story 

Should be frequent on the blog the next couple days, i think i have found a way to put my mumbled thoughts into coherent sentences - have a blessed rest of the week guys
P.s. I love You

#MusicMonday – His Name Is?

I will tell you his name in just a bit..hehhehe – what it do folks? Great Monday, I hope? Mine was chilled, the bus didn't even annoy me today, was listening to music and dancing (don't know why I keep doing that, I have no shame whatsoever) I almost missed my stop.

So for someone who claims to be private and really only share information with limited folks – I find myself able to tell you (blogsville) about anything and even knowing that people who know me personally (e.g. my dad, lol) read this doesn't deter me – there is just something about writing that frees me – it's probably why I don't hold on to anything and I'm able to let go so easily – nways my point for all this talk is I want to report my mummy to you

I love the woman to death, I do – but sometimes I swear I just want to give her a piece of my mind – so I tell her, HE and I are no longer talking, we going to try to be friends still – now I couldn't tell her the many reasons why this is true – I don't know how to lie to my parents, at least not any longer and she asked about him so I answered right? And she is going to say and I quote "hahah, why can't you hold on to relationships?" – oweeee, even now as I tell you, my blood is boiling over again – like my first thought was wtf? But I was raised right & the Holy Spirit spoke the words not me, in which I told her that it wasn't my fault and things happen and bye of course

It's a harsh thing to say and I'm still going to talk to her about it, but I understand where she is coming from – u see she has been divorced more years than she was married and with four kids, our happiness is what she lives for – and u know nja now, where my dad has remarried and has three other kids, she is single still – so that whole trying to make sure I have long lasting marriage clouds her judgment sumtimes in how she expects me to be with a boy and be tolerant and not want to end things so quickly or whatever

But this is where I stand – I believe in love, I really do – but I believe in love that is gentle and kind, peaceful, no stress, no insecurities, loads of trust, leave the baggage and the past experiences outside, have faith in us, understand that distance should not be a problem ever, be sensitive to my needs, know that sex enhances but is nothing to do with why I want to be with u, love that is good, strong and able to withstand anything – I will only settle for the kind of love that makes me deliriously happy and for a man that is a representation of my identity, someone who wants to scream my name to the world and will go leaps and bounds – so until then sorry mummy and daddy, marriage is the last thing on my mind – don't want to be where either of you are – I am single and celibate(not even a kiss, chai) and loving it – your baby is truly happy

His Name Is Joe
Sorry for the distraction today's post is actually about Music, goodness that is Joe– he is the only artist I believe has 8 awesome albums, this guy is largely underrated and is slept on– like each album was just perfect (ok let's say great) and imma share my fav songs from each – hope you like it and have a blessed week ahead – p.s I love you
From his First Album - Everything - "All or Nothing" - so old school men

From his 2nd album - All that I am - at this point its so hard to choose, this is my fav album still - but i have to go with "Good Girls"

From his 3rd album - My Name is Joe - my third fav album of his - this was just magic men - i have to go with "I Believe in you" over 'Table for Two and Stutter'

From his 4th album - Better Days  - my fourth fav album from his -this was just a really good clean album, it hit all the right notes - i have to go with "I Understand" but men "I like Sexy Girls" is such a classic

From his 5th album - And Then - omygoodness at this point i'm having orgasms - this album was just toooooooo great -  like this is the kind of album that makes me believe in perfect love (not the perfect man o) - second fav album of his - gotta to go with "And then" - but "More and More" is calling me

From his 6th album - Ain't nothing Like Me - hmmm this album take as it be - it wasnt his finest, he was trying to do some hiphop sturvs i wasnt feeling still - but out of it came one of his best songs ever "If I Was Your Man"

From his 7th album - Joe Thomas, New Man - This album i think was his most underrated album - cos it had some pure genius songs here and he went back to his pure r 'n' b/soul - my fav song still has to be "We Need to Roll" but please listen to "Why Just Be Friends"

From his 8th album - Signature - this is for the grown and sexy yo, like forget it - this album from top to bottom gets me gagas - gotta go with "Metaphor" but please listen to "Miss My Baby"

and thats it folks, orgasmic music at its finest - enjoy

Daddy Found My Blog & I’m thankful

So yes u read me right – my dad found my blog – o my days I nearly shit for pant, when I got the text in the morning, telling me he found it and liked it except I shouldn't talk so much about my future, after which he proceeds to back it up with scriptural verses( which I haven't read still, please don't tell him, lol)- but as a big girl now, I handled it well – I just told him he is not allowed to read it ever again – knowing my dad, that's just story – the man is so funny, he likes that I can write about any topic and he goes "o my friend who is a writer said to send him some of what you have done, for a possible position" lol – he is cool people for real – I actually closed the blog for like a day, cos I didn't know what to do (did anyone notice?) but I realized knowing my dad, he already read all 50+ posts before sending the text, so nothing to hide – so he gets to read about everything I write if he so chooses from sex, to politics, to sports, relationships, anything personal or otherwise, even when it's about him. I love my dad, what can I say?

Btw, I am so sorry for not putting up a post since Monday, popsy found the blog on Tuesday I think, I closed it that day, and was going to post sumn once my holidays started on Thursday but just got really busy. Men, Houston can suck u dry o, every other day there is a wedding, baby shower, birthday something, I tell u I am going to sit my butt home by force or by fire this month of December coming, I already feel like I am known and u know ur girl don't do that – I like being behind the scenes – speaking of which one old man, I swear he is old enuff to be my dad was trying to chat me up yesterday (actually followed me to the bathroom), can u imagine? Then he is going to say can you hug me please? I'm like sorry sir but no – as in hey I wanted to die though, cos some old women and men were passing by greeting him & looking at me – more reason for me to sit my butt home in Dec. men…plus its cold in this zones men, really thought it will still be sunny until at least January – and tell me y, mosquitoes keep feasting on my body from my face to feet everywhere(bf mum says it's something about me being portable & having sweet blood) men ko funny jo

So I really hate to hear "Boyfriend is not husband" or vice versa – like for real what does that mean? Does that give me a right to go take another girls man, cos I think he is not the man for me? – I get the whole "don't put all your eggs in one basket bit" believe me I know(but that's story for another time) but I just think that's a selfish, and stupid thing to say or principle to live by – but what I like about life is that karma is a bitch, that goes hard – enuff said

So my Naija and Yankee folks, how was your long holiday? Hope you enjoyed it & all – mine was busy attending functions I had no business attending really – but I also volunteered, which was pretty cool, and hung out with my boy – Mr. Banko – from Canada, and with limlim, who came in from school in Indiana- so that was nice and some good good food (I will tell you that my tummy is swollen, although that seems to have been the case for about a month now, but u will probably tell me I have body image issues) – nways in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I have to share with you the reasons I am thankful – and I hope you really took the time to do that – I think Nigeria needs to create such a day, things might make a difference in that country as such – so here we go in no particular order

I'm Thankful

I'm so thankful for God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, I could not even tell you where my life will be otherwise & I pray you all know him personally, especially those of you that don't know him now

I'm thankful for the air I breathe, that I can walk, type, see even if it's with glasses, that I am just 5'2 and look 16 still, for a face that can let my do any hairstyle, for my swollen tummy even with all the workout and eating right

I'm thankful for the love of family, even through it all, he has kept us happy and healthy and keeps providing for us, for a job and for me being able to give of my very own first paycheck(pls remember always to give your tithe and your first fruit-which is the complete first paycheck)

I'm thankful for the best friends anyone could ever wish for – if it were a contest I can promise you that I would win hands down, cos I have ride & die friends – I would name names but no space – they know themselves, I try to tell them how much they mean to me frequently – but regardless I love you always

I'm thankful for blogsville – you could never know what you mean to me, your support, your feedback- Myne, Mr Jegede, Roc, Cerebrus, Tisha, Tricia, Bagucci, David, Sugarking, Fabulola, all the anonymous– ok, this won't work – I couldn't name you all, esp cos there are some of you who never comment but I know are steady reading – I'm so thankful to God for you

I'm thankful that I take the bus to work, that I always have food to eat, that I haven't collected my degree yet & was able to still work, that I am done with school, that I'm in Houston, that I can't go to Naija this xmas, for long natural nails and nice legs

I'm thankful for each of my siblings, they are the reason I strive to be the very best, and for the best mother in the world hands down, and my very funny daddy - that I am single still and not lonely, that I haven't done the do for almost a year now, that my "assets" have grown, that I can never find clothes for my weirdly shaped body

I'm thankful cos I have no reason to be in the hospital ever, and not had to see the dentist for a while, that Arsenal & Giants are my teams even though they occasionally suck, for my love of shoes, for the ability to tweet (allowing me to say some major random ish) and even more so for blackberry, for humor group and the Christian group on there

I'm thankful for my extended family, for past and present teachers & mentors, past & present churches and pastors, for everyone I have ever met, for Music (which I think he specially created because of me), for older friends and new friends who have taken to me and been very supportive & encouraging and helpful, for skype and the internet in general- and so many things I am sure I am forgetting

I am just so thankful & filled with joy & peace – my parents knew what there were doing when they named me with names that all have joy in it – cos I am truly blessed & happy and I sincerely wish you all the same – the kind of joy that removes all kinds of sorrow & tears

Nways with that said – wishing you all a very F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S week ahead, one without no stress and only testimonies – I will be doing a whole special on one particular artist tomorrow – so please come back – although I suspect it will be late- PEACE

p.s I Love you