Thursday, August 20, 2009

In his Eyes

He Kissed me.....right there infront of everyone........and my first reaction was to slap him.....my mind thinking how dare he??

But then I started to feel.......it wasn't like the kiss in my dream, it was better......and for what felt like five minutes.....our lips told stories of passion to be, yet explored.....I had made the right choice in a man......we would be happy for life, if we continued to kiss like this.......sigh!!!! as I released him.......I had to come up for air, I was breathless............His Eyes said it all...no mistake about it, this was real.......

and without saying a word I walked away.........

In the bathroom.....I wasn't sure if I was to cry for pleasure or be terrified of what was to come......I knew why he kissed me in public.....at least I think I did......it was so there was no pressure when we got home......if it was bad, then at least we knew now, and would figure out how to avoid any sexual committments throughout my stay........but it was great, confirming infact that there was sexual chemistry.......looking into the mirror, lips swollen, face flushed.....and I felt alive, beautiful and wanted..........I was excited to explore this phase in our journey.......

Then I remembered that I didn't know how.....what did I know about sex???? this is me, would not have sex conversations with no one, not even my best friend..........for a scorpio I am a sexual recluse.....I just never seen the big deal..........and it didn't help that I hadn't even had any in a year.......I was sure I was "revirginized", if there is a word like that.......is there a word like that??? .......as a girl, I was attempted rape on 3times, thankfully neither of them were fruitful......and I just closed up......I didn't want no guy touching me.....and so my first time, was horrible to say the least......It was more painful than enjoyable.....so what would I know about pleasing my man???.....I was sure that after the sex, things would go downhill, he would be so disappointed....arrrrggghh

Resolving in my mind, that I was going to find a way to avoid having sex with him for the next 9days, I left the bathroom, after redoing my lips, making sure I come out looking like this wasn't new to me, u know????? How, I was going to avoid him, i didn't know.....I couldn't exactly use my period......we had planned for me to come after my period......and I was still thinking about that, when his bestfriend grabs me and drags me to the corner................

"so you came to visit him??"......he asked......."Yes, I did, and if you were talking to me for the last few months I would have told you myself"......You see we had been friends, longer than they had been friends.....we grew up together, and I was his first crush........but we just never dated, initially cos I wasn't interested in boys, and then we just kept drawing father apart.....he really got into being this "big, famous" guy........he would change phones every month, couldnt be caught dead in anything that wasn't designer labelled, always showing off......and I was and still am the opposite of that, and he grew worse as he got older......it didn't help that he was a very jealous person......but he messed up when he thought he had the power to control if I dated his friend, and got so mad that I didn't let go and deleted me of his blackberry messenger, and wouldnt say a word to me on facebook..........

We were still arguing, in each others face........so close, it looked like we were about to kiss..........
When He comes along, "whats going on here?"...........

His eyes telling a different story this time........one of hurt and anger

to be continued.........xxxxx

12 comments:

  1. *Cough cough*lol.. i love the choice of words like "i was sure .. i was revirginized" very INTERESTING.- Diane

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  2. Thanks Diane............I appreciate it

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  3. hmm...now i understand why that question was asked...

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  4. lol......i thought you would.....

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  5. I'm assuming thats good.....thanks Juwon....

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  6. right now am thinking this could really b a big deal...like it could be made into a novel..and be a big seller...keep writting quite impressive...

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  7. thanks very much nosai......I really appreciate it

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  8. I can picture you looking abashed..

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  9. lol........u know, very uncomfortable sturvs....thanks for stopping by.....

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  10. The drama heightens..... the babe sounds a bit confused. Is unsure the word? She planned to come after her period... for period to be a factor before booking a ticket to visit a boy... DURRRRRRRH!!! Anyways, I can go on an on. Moving on to the next one!

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  11. lol.....Unsure is the word.....she wasnt confused abt having sex, it was that hse was afraid dhe wouldn't do it well....thanks Jem

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