So today was just one of those days …. Annoying is not a good word, frustrating is more like it and I totally hate days like today when I feel totally unaccomplished and useless…..
O and then I checked my weight at the hospital and I am 142lb at 5'2 that's overweight – which means all my working out every day, my detox, nothing is working – I quit cos I'm so mad, the mirror and my clothes have been lying to me – cos I thot I had lost weight - the last time I checked my weight about 2months ago at the hospital again I was 139lbs –so right now I am just mad, frustrated, disgusted and fat – I totally hate myself
Now that I am done with the self degredation, self humiliation, self bashing – I bring to you the only thing that helps other than prayer and that's music – today's selection has no theme, just thot to share with you – btw sorry the post is so late, again it was due to the rather bad day – I intend to post one everyday leading to the birthday btw @ which point I was going to show my new body, but it doesn't look like that's happening anymore – so we will see …..I digress, back to the music
First Song today is by country black boy – lol, u gotta love him for his boldness into that scene Darius Rucker – my brother introduced me to this song last night and I knew I had to share it with you all – the song speaks for itself and even as I listen to it now to play for you – all I can say is Thank you Jesus, through it all I Thank you Jesus
Next song is by my man, Mr Robin Thicke – Gosh I am so jealous of his wife – I think she is the luckiest woman in the world right now – his voice sha – plus I think he is a freak albeit a quiet one but a freak nonetheless – the song is called sex therapy and I could do with a little bit of that myself *cough, Cough* but ummm yea, wat was I saying – o yea I love this song, lol.
Next Song is by the king of R n B – yes I said it he is the king, Rkelly – jeez his lyrics just make me joyful – he has a way with words – he knows what females love – sometimes I think I talk too much – listen to this song and let me know if you hear the same thing I hear
You know I'm cheesy yea – but I also believe in young talents and its why I love this song – I used to watch this guy on the show "Lincoln Heights" on Abc Family and used to think damn he should sing – not knowing that was what they were doing when all of last season his character was singing and learning to dance – his name is Mishon and he is so cute and his voice is great – I love the innocence in this song, talking about "imma let you rock my chain now until you are old enough to rock my name" – that is so cute – I know its cheesy but I love it – do you?
And because the world isn't always so happy and just because I love Jojo – and apparently she is on some broken hearted trip, as in "Impossible to love" and "How you did it" – imma end today with a sad song – you know that ex that you just hate yet you keep remembering all the good times you both had or for some he/she was good to you and you let him/her go – this song sings what you think – lol – you gotta love the way songwriters put what you r thinking on paper and you listen to them and think " I could have totally written that" – nways listen jo, lol
Nways that's it folks – how was your weekend? Went to my first baby shower and some chic irritated me, I will tell you all about it tomorrow – I hope you are all doing way better than I am – thanks for all the encouragement and support – y'all tk cr and stay blessed