Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Anniversary

You see why I needed to change my promise....cant believe it myself that I haven't written anything since Thursday....I am a tadbit unreliable I swear (I don't feel so bad though, cos I told you).....I have missed u guys some......so this is abt to be another long one.....

Friday: I was mad depressed (u see that the devil is a liar)....I am usually very upbeat u know, esp when u this "rich" u learn fast to enjoy everything u can....speaking of which I am the only "rich" person I know who makes having her phone on a priority.....lol, for real, the day I lose my blackberry service is the day I lose it....I will go officially mad......but let me tell u this country can depress you, plus I had had a headache all day, so much so I left work early and the office was empty and cold men......lol....I wont lie I played that headache a tad bit.....lol......and they were all so worried for me...but I couldn't take that place....I mean i'm not getting paid, dang it men...it just got to me that day....it was so bad, I didn't try to get in touch with HE that day........which brings me to my topic

HE.....hasn't looked for me as much as he has since he got with his boys on friday.....now let me tell u...i'm a very independent chic...so i'm all about do you, ill do me....just keep in touch....but dang we just started talking seriously for about a month and the honeymoon period is over????....u see why boys confuse me......for months and months u have disturbed me to the point of no return...the minute I take u seriously.....u start to take the piss(english speak for u start to act a fool).....hence my topic 'anniversary'.....cos I was going to make this whole big deal abt o we have talked for a month and we still like each other, maybe we can actually date....cos considering the long distance....I think each day is worth celebrating....but with that said....I guess I wont be celebrating huh!......psychologist that I am I have analyzed and rationalized die.....'o maybe he misses me too much, he just is tired of talk that only makes it worse'...'well he is with his boys and cant get a good minute for good conversation"...but screw that crap......if I have u on ur mind no matter how bad I feel or busy I am...then I don't see a problem......Lol, I am so basing this on the fact that he wont read this blog....now if you do.....lol.......muah, that's all I have to say...I hope u have changed by said time.....guess wat song comes on my itunes now?..... "Can you stand the rain?" - Johnny Gill & New Edition.....and that's a question I am going to deal with as this progresses....cos to be honest, this is just the beginning......

ok back to me....that's too much HE attention....pretty chilled weekend, attempted to sew in my own hair myself....lol......that didn't work out so well......so i went back to sumthing most of you are not familiar with.....its called Trade by Barter.....social studies abi was it citizenship.....I did my friends hair, she did mine....very simple, no mess involved and there is equality...lol......see what i was saying abt priorities.....I have bills to pay but if I didn't do my hair this weekend it would have been wahala.....busy day at work on Monday, different office, but it gave me a chance to have lunch at the docks......I love water, for some weird reason, absolutely obsessed with it....and today I learnt a lot of stuff, so it wasn't a bad day and then i got to see transformers with my bro....


So I almost left here without telling you about the bastard five hr classes that just started this Monday....hence I couldn't write yday.....and the prof takes attendance....all in the name of degree....that is some major fuckery I tell u.....esp after 8hrs of work....but hey speaking of anniversaries, I graduate next month(today being July 1st, naija time)....hell freak yea.....I am so excited and my internship is almost over....171 hrs left.....yes sir....my joy knows no bounds....hehheheh

love u....have a fantastic week guys.....see u soon
xxxxx

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Discipline

If I was getting paid for the work I do, today would have been the day that I would exclaim that "I earned my paycheck"....o my gosh all day I was worked, barely got a chance to eat or use my phone like I am constantly doing(I know bad, but im always needed by sumone on that phone I swear)....which brings me to another topic.....rbr I said I looked hella hot yday and today I looked great....lol.....well I have this theory that you cant look this good and need to go to the toilet, most especially public ones.....now I'm female so that makes absolutely no sense I know.....but I think I already mentioned the fact that I hate the idea of using a toilet.....

Back to my topic for today: I Lack Discipline......I really do.....cos if I didn't I would be exercising like I told y'all I would .....Yes, since the day I mentioned it, I haven't walked a mile or done situps....then the bbq came providing loads of chips and pop.....and Smirnoff Ice of course...triple black is so my favorite.....that's how I celebrated 200hrs btw.....a half bottle of Smirnoff...lol...pathetic huh......and omg...so my supervisor always has candy in the office and guess who gorges on it like its meat(meat can kill me, I can do almost anything for it).......guyyyyyyys im getting fat(in the whiniest voice u can imagine), working out double time begins now....HE is so going to be done with me.....that and the fact that I never do my skool work or even write this blog when I am supposed to......note that I always do what I need to do....but I need to learn to do this in a timely manner

I was going to write this in class......but then we heard that Micheal Jackson died.....its amazing that earlier today Farah Fawcett died and there was barely a mention of it and MJ dies and there is an uproar(he will be sorely missed).....rbr yday when I said don't just exist.....that proves my point.....make a name for yourself people.....don't leave this world without impacting more than ur immediate family....I wont....

So am done with one class for the semester at least the attendance part of it and so graduation seems even more eminent, I am so stoked.....I miss HE o(cue in "this long distance is killing me" by brandy)....lol as HE will say I'm such a loser.....lol....I hope HE can make it down soon....I have a theory that I am only attracted to guys who drive me insane and make me try new things.....in other words I am a Big FAT weirdo.....lol, but its all good.....

so 189hrs left....cos I brought home some work and I'm logging in 1.5hrs in addition to the 7.5hrs at the office......so count down to 100hrs is on.....womp womp....can't wait....how was your day guys? have a great night or day for those in different states and countries

xxxx
se ya soon

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I can paint a picture with a Pen

I have a respect for words so let me start by saying that I am sorry again for not writing yday....and with that said, I take back the promise that I will write everyday, instead I promise that this blog continues for me for a while with at least a post each week......

I was going to tell you about my busy day at work and about how fab I looked in my LBD(little black dress)....I know vain vain, but I did look fab and as such I've decided I need to be rich so that I can have a whole wardrobe of LBD's....can I hear an Amen....instead, I'm just going to write as I see fit....I hope u like it......


Sum1 told me today that I fall too hard.....granted he is right, I only afterall met HE(the subject of my affection)...like 7months ago....but here is my thing......I know guys who have I known forever and who claim to love me but don't feel the need to communicate everyday, talkeless show me said love....granted our paths have varied and come back...but my understanding of Love and by this I mean with sumone that you want a relationship with, is that you work for it, across time differences, across oceans...u entail to keep it going for that point at which u meet.....most of said guys I've become good friends with "backups" as I like to call them cos... hey!!!we are young...and no one knows the future.....exactly my point though.....why not work with what you have and put ur everything into it and let the chips fall as they may?.....cos maybe this one is "the one" and if not....u cry and you move on......

Of one thing I am certain...That Love is Uncertain.....and holds no guarantees.....U love for today and if I am alive tomorrow to Love again then I make sure to take advantage of it.....My Mum has four kids for my dad and they have been divorced more years than they were ever married.....So believe me its more than Love.....it takes a lot to be with sum1....like the Bible said Love is Kind, Patience, Longsuffering and so many other things I wont quote.....but all I'm saying is that as long as I'm not sleeping around and all I'm doing is giving my heart, then I think that I'm more blessed than most will ever be.....

Another thing I am certain of......my friendship with you matters a lot to me, and I dont want to ever ruin it because I fell in Love....a man is not an island, and friends especially childhood friends, know how to hold you down and put you in your place.....with that said if u like me/ liked me, and u dont like my relationship with sum1 or want me for yourself.....speak or forever hold your peace......its not that complicated, at which point I will tell you why its not an option and hopefully remain friends.....and the same thing with female friends......speak your mind, its up to me if I don't listen......thats how I define friendship nways......

Let me end by saying this....Do more than exist, Live and Love.....

I hope that helps clarify sum things for you as u read this.......be comfortable with your decisions and for some others here step off your high horse and stop judging others....and for some stop tripping on what's infront of you because you looking behind...ok I'm done giving advise.....I'm only 22 afterall and I'm not as wise as I think....

so long.....o and we have less than 200hrs now guys....lol...notice I say "we"...cos u all have been helping me each step of the way......Yay to 198hrs left




Monday, June 22, 2009

My Apologies

I am so so sorry, I know I have been horrible not blogging since Thursday and really no excuses except I have been really lazy the past couple days........

Thursday wasn't a bad day at work but still it was long, I just wasn't feeling that place last week at all....and so I decided that I was just going to bring work home and do on Friday(I'll let you know how great that worked out for me)......so I get home and then go to class...tired as hell but I figured I'll blog in class as usual and do some other skool work.....I get to class and class was empty no class....can u imagine? that's wat I get for trying to be a good girl, except as a good student I should know my schedule shouldn't I?.....No excuse for not blogging that day though....but I was so bone tired I figured I'll make it up to you on Friday

Friday comes and I decided to catch up on all my shows from the week....I love TV shows(The listener, Mental, Army wives, Unusuals....too name a few this summer)....and then before I knew it was 3pm.......absolutely no work accomplished....and I was to go grocery shopping with LC for my brothers surprise bday party(which turned out not to be a surprise cos my brother sucks, lol)......so u wondering how a broke person like me can afford to host a house party?.....simple u ask people to bring sumn......lil bit got us some drinks and hot dog buns and chips, I.V and E.V even more drinks and hamburger buns...Cocoa some cookies, juice and Smirnoffs....and LC borrows you a $100 for a cake, chicken, hamburger and hot dog.....and she buys a grill...she totally rocks......p.s. thanks guys I owe you one.....nways that was my whole Friday...I got home and still no work......big time loser won't u say?

Sat comes around....and I've cleaned my house....its time to set up the grill......I totally suck at construction.....I'm good at one thing only and it involves books......I must say on that front I am a genius, lol....but I can never read the directions right to build anything (that's why you have boys, or u pay for it)...but I couldn't call my bro, cos duh!!! its his thing....so that left me to do it....then miss LC came in to help.....needless to say I was a mess at it.....I completely screw it up and by 3 when it was supposed to start I was breaking it down so I could restart building it again...I was almost in tears at this point...by 5sumn when my brother arrived(hence the unsuccessful surprise) we had just literally gotten the grill to work and put the meat on fire....wheeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww (at this point impatient me had already put some chicken in the oven as well, couldn't risk people coming and no food)....The day was ok....not bad at all, and i think everyone had a good time

This is getting rather long innit? again I apologize, if I had blogged like I was supposed to...(ok, stupid u making it even longer.....lol....I'm still doing it...ok stop)....ha so where was I?....so Sunday comes around, no church (too tired, God forgive me) and still I didn't start doing my work till much later in the evening, not really realizing how much it was...so I was up till 4am (serves me right huh!)....woke up by 7 finished wat I had to do and then went to work to get some more work to bring home because I had an interview this morning for another job( and YES it PAYS...whopppee) provided I get it of course...but its only 10hrs a week, still it pays anywhere from $15-$20 an hr....and guess what, I can log in the hours as part of my internship.....I know it sounds too good to be true (fingers crossed for me guys)...so still have some work to do tonight...been lazying around, so another long night but that's cool....

Guess what? I'm down to 213 hrs(can it be less than 200 already? jeez!!!)....because I get to log in 10 hrs for the work I brought home on Friday and 8hrs for the work I brought home today.....No updates on HE...HE needs a little getting used to, and patience to deal with...but it helps knowing HE is crazy abt me....lol....e.g. this morning I asked if HE had showered and HE said "no but I have thought about you" :).....gosh I'm a sucker for all things sweet....have a good rest of the week guys and thanks for reading....till tomorrow

xxxxxx

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

What a Day

Prolly should have started with what a night! whew! I'm so glad the day is almost over as well......

U know I wasn't going to write, I mean after all nobody reads it......but this has come to be my relieve and I actually do enjoy it.....

My night huh!!!!! It was lonely, it started with feeling like I didn't want to talk to HE...I was looking at him, but HE was freaking thousand miles away, which reminds me......long distance sucks....my jolly....and then the depression hit me like a flood wave.....but I stayed strong, no crying, watched a good chic flick, went to bed very late....no emotional bbm or text.....I decided that I'm done with the mushiness and emotions....now its time to deal with the practicality of things....staying strong till we see, till someone moves closer....thats the game plan.....

Work was ok today, learnt a few things, did u know that almost all pregnancies are unplanned albeit welcomed?.....and I found out that I could bring work home so I could drastically reduce my hours.....my surpervisor was still out......but 2nd boss was so nice.....ask me why she feels the need (and most of that office actually) to smile whenever they walk pass....its so cute though......so 2nd in command decided to buy us lunch (I told u my food was going to last till friday,lol).....and 2nd boss brought some cake....so I had me some burritos and desert....yummy......

Random thot: Love is a decision......I dont know how many times I have to say it (cody)......so the minute I feel my love for you isn't reciprocated I take my love with me and go....I hurt but I move on, making the decision to love myself more......thats my advise (again cody if u read this).....

so i'm off to go do some skool work and log in some extra hours before the end of the day....thanks for reading for those of you who do......have a great night.....231hrs left guys.....my jolly, time is moving fast.....see u tomorrow
xxxxxxx

Monday, June 15, 2009

Diary Day 4

Hi Y'all......

So i missed you this weekend, but, i really think its best that i don't blog weekends.....but, cos i have to tell you everything i will do a recap of events....

RECAP FROM WEEKEND

  • was so mad at HE.....boys don't get that you are not supposed to let your phone die....lol...
  • had an all nighter trying to turn in my exam....in which my dumb professor gave me 24.5/25.....i really want to see what the .5 was for....
  • my "baby" sister graduated from high school...i have been asked to not treat her like a baby anymore....lol....i will try......she referred to me and i quote "you are the kind of mother who kisses her boyfriend in front of her kids friend" lol.....in other words i embarrass her, can u imagine....
  • made up with HE.....lol...of course
  • logged in one hr of work, putting stamps on letters...can u imagine? a whole master student....that's what i spent most of last week doing btw.....
  • went begging for food at L.C's and Mo's, Saturday and Sunday respectively...lol
It was however a chilled weekend, not as much school work as i hoped to do, but I'm always good for those..... Today was a full day at work though, felt very professional (plus i had on my glasses and my lil black skirt)....which reminds me, i have always dreamed of working so i can wear lil bitty black skirts and tiny tops like you see in all them movies, all the professionals looking sexy as hell........well, it makes no sense here because they are all female (and 1man...lol)and older... but I'm practicing for that office with my mates, most of whom will be male and i will be killing daily.....lol...I'm so evil......

so now i have a daily routine, work for 7.5hrs (shower and pray, naturally before that...lol)......work out, shower, do some skool work, talk to HE, go to bed with a smile on my face(lol)...i can't believe this is what its going to be for very many more years in my life.....sounds pretty boring....

which reminds me, i love working out.......well at least the idea, because i don't do it often enough....but i want to, its always on my mind(i'm going to have a personal trainer, when I'm rich....and yes even in naija) ....so i have decided to go for it, and to walk in the park after work when i don't have classes.....i'll let you know how that's going......

How was your day and weekend? hope it was good.....245 hrs left......jeez i cant wait...lol...

till tomorrow
xxxxx

Friday, June 12, 2009

Diary Day 3

TGIF.......like seriously, I'm already drained and I haven't even started.....lol.....by next week though I'm sure it will just be normal routine.....but, then again I didn't help myself by not sleeping at all last night......no idea why? coffee drinking at 8pm did make the situation worse though.....so,yep not even a wink of sleep......was listening to music all night.....

U see I had been on edge.......HE hadn't called......lol....so I had drank coffee in an attempt to forget about him and concentrate on my studying(exam due tomorrow and I haven't even started). But then an hr later HE calls.....lol, again im so pathetic.....its funny how every "relationship" (notice the quotation marks, huh! huh!) is different....never cared if I heard from a guy before, maybe cos I could easily just call if I wanted to and they always called.....but, it was never a thing.....but with "this" (again with the quotation marks, lol).... the furthest long dist ever.....I NEED that call....

Had to have another cup of coffee in the morning of course, sleepy as hell......and didn't want to be a drag at work....and what would you know? it blew right by....didn't even know time had gone, till about past 2pm......so we have this "machine" (gosh i love it)....its one of those all in ones (don't u wish men came like that too).....it prints and then it will actually staple and put holes in your documents....scans and saves it pdf form and send it right back to the computer for me....I mean this machine is on point......I also have allocated my own toilet....lmao...I hate public bathrooms, infact refused to use it the first day, but I had to yday...and I picked the cleanest (duh! of course) and today it was also as clean...and so its mine....lol.....( will find it extremely difficult to use another one.....I know i'm weird)


So did I tell you? I got manna from heaven on wed......lil bit aka Miss Mo....got me some groceries( thank u so much, I owe u big).....but, for real I have the best friends....if I came back to this world, I would come back as me without the poverty....lol.....LC is chef extraordinaire( she is finger looking good) and is my mummy here.....Lil bit...my fashionista, hair dresser and dance partner.....Bestie (don't mind that you were not the first)....my banker and my heart and adviser and diary....Cuzo......my source of constant laughter....and a lot of others that u will meet in the course of this blog.....


at 3pm I get a ping(bb speak) blackberry for those who don't have one (heheheheh) and I am so sure its my cody (lol....I owe u a series still) but its HE(forgot to tell u HE was off, hence my anxiety)......so HE is back in the bb world....OMG...thank you...lol.....and we haven't even talked on it since then....knowing HE is available, makes me feel a lot better....

so off to boring and mundane tasks like studying....lol (I'm so laughing at myself, senoritis is a bitch)....and looking forward to a hassle free weekend.....you all have a great weekend...

p.s.......not sure yet if I will blog during weekends.....but I, will keep you posted.....

only 254 hrs left guys......wohoooooooooooo....

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Diary Day 2

Just quickly sent in my homework....due past mon btw......but I have no bloody time. With this new job, and 4 classes, looking for a job, working on a magazine and facebooking and caking on the phone with HE......lol....there is no bloody time.....hence me writing this in class......this class sucks ass nways.....i swear i cant hear a word he says

ok,.......so work wasn't so bad today, went to a board meeting(always a good place to network)......they also usually have good food there....lmao....and then my supervisor was supposed to take me to go see the hospitals we work with.....well like i said, i'm hella broke. So here I am hoping that she will just carry me around cos I knew my baby blue(my honda crv) will take me back to the office and back home with the lil gas left....but then she changes her mind and thinks we should go solo....so I smile, "no problem".....inside i'm saying "bitch i'm broke"(it would have been stupid to acually take her car around and then come back to get mines....lol), .......so we go get gas and I officially overdrew on my account......$10 gas is however almost a half tank in 'baby blue'....so I figure, work tomorrow, nowhere on saturday and church on sunday, monday and tuesday ill still have gas.....lol....hopefully I get some dough by then( can i get an Amen)

Did I tell you that there is only one male at work, who happens to be the big bos.....now we are supposed to be catering to minorities and underserved and we as a company do not in anyway represent the population we serve (but hey, who cares.....just as long as they get their needs met innit?)

HE.......is so far away.....and becuase of the time difference I find it very difficult to just call at any time and since its more cheaper to call the landline(mobile is not even an option....lol).....my point, I almost pulled out my hair yesterday because I hadnt spoken to him all day.....o my gosh, I have actually become one of those girls....so with that said, even though I havent heard from him all day today(nobody's fault really).....I am calm(well maybe not, lol).......but a whole lot calmer than yesterday...playing it cool......I know HE can't sleep without talking to me......I so so freaking miss him.....

Lol......so that was my day.....261.5 hrs left(hell freak yea) o my gosh its just 5.49pm....another 3hrs in this class.....I really doubt that....as soon as HE holla's i'm out.....so I hope u had a nice day.......

see u tomorrow......xxxxxx

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Diary Day 1

I timidly ask, "am I getting paid?" "Well I don't know let me find out, my supervisor replies". "Well I did ask and she said it was a voluntary internship, she comes back saying". "O no problem, just thought I should ask," I tell her. Gosh, was I mad!!! like seriously wth wants to volunteer 275 hours for free? But I don't have a choice because I need it to graduate. Needless to say the motivation i had when i had gotten the job initially has waned. And to put it out there, I am very rich in Jesus Name ( in otherwords i am freaking broke). O snap just realized HE(more on that later) is going to read this and be furious at me. But dont worry, I don't need you to pull out your wallets and send me something (hint!hint!). LOL. No seriously, i am officially the brokest (if there is a word like that) intern as well, but a very happy intern. I am about to graduate, and the remaining 269 hours of this internship should fly by pretty quickly with loads of stories to tell when I start making that dough ( chi ching!!!!yeah). Like how I am the only black person who works there and the only person in their 20's and so everybody is trying to be careful and of course speak correctly at all times. Like how I had to sing happy birthday to someone I don't even know at work today (the brownies and cake were hella good though).

So here's to chronicling my every day struggles and successes and joys......and here is to my 3rd attempt at blogging.....hope you enjoy it....see you tomorrow