Thursday, July 30, 2009

There's always something

I feel like there is always that something that holds you back....i tell you the devil is intense, or maybe its just human nature....I don't know....I just know that i just want things to be smooth sailing for me.....for once in my lifetime at least.....

So I almost insulted my dad today, and my dad is someone that I will not mention a lot on this blog....don't get me wrong, I love him, with all my heart.....but I am not happy with him, and haven't been for a while now.....but the way I look at things with Parents in general is this....sometimes we expect too much from them, they r just human beings, not any wiser, not any better than you....they make decisions and choices that affect us and govern how we look at them....but really they don't have to do much more for us than provide us with the basic...everything they do extra is 1. the Grace of God and 2. and the difference between a father/mother and an egg/sperm donor.....

I only mention my dad, cos i think i took out my disappointments and frustration on him....Almost a week away from a very important day in my life and nothing is shaping up....i thought i had a dress, i no longer have one(it was to be sewn and it wont get here on time, so whats the point), I don't even have the graduation ensemble itself(cap,gown, hood), tons of people coming from out of town and still cant figure out how I'll sort them all out and feed them...and o there is to be a reception and I don't know how exactly that's going to work at this rate....I am just frustrated with the lack of money....I don't mean to complain and I am reminded of the fact that the fact that I am going to graduate in of itself is such a great thing in my life....there is that side of me that seriously feels the lack and I hate that there is that side....I just want to be really joyous and hassle free and its not shaping up like so.....But have i told u about my God?....have u met him?....he is too fantastic, too gbaski......so wiping my tears....and on to singing and dancing.....my sadness only lasts for a min.....so my cousin is mad, cos I don't want her to help me out...Sorry love....I will be k....and u don't have to do nothing....

I know that u r very mad at me(esp miss Ti-To, jo ma binu)......its been almost 2 weeks...that's so insane....guys,I Have been so busy...work has been just pure tiring and I always want to write sumn, but I will be so beat and then Ill have more skool work to do....jeez I tell u....I have been burnt out....its showing on my face and in my lack of caring about my grades anymore.....but OMYGOSH, OMYGOSH, OMYGOSH.....its Fri, which means after today I have only Mon at work and its means that on wed I am done with skool and it means that I graduate on sat the 8th....o heavens....I'm not sure I'm excited yet....maybe after my exam on wed....

O guys I'm getting baptized on Sunday....I am so excited about that....I'm actually scared, i keep thinking u this sinner....so I will def catch up with you tomorrow on work related gist, school related gist and things i have noticed in the world...lol.....thanks for all the support and love....hope u have all been good?(nobody ever answers that question btw)...

see u soon.....xxxxx




Monday, July 20, 2009

Laughing Through the Storm

The Title of this post was the topic at church this Sunday, and I thought it was very fitting for the end of this storm, called education in my life. It has been grueling, at times just plain torture. but in less than 3 weeks(19 days y'all) I graduate, I am done. I don't think I'm excited yet. maybe closer to the day, or past the day, but I do know it can't come soon enough.

If anyone told me I will work a day, while I was in this country,while still in school, other than for the luxury of I needed money to get a dress or sumn....i would have laughed in their face....I have worked since I have been in this country( paid and unpaid)....lol....I have also partied and traveled....I have been blessed without measure and I cant thank God enough for my friends...and I am most especially happy for my mother, cos she has worked the hardest to see me hold my diploma in my hand.....My point is just this, let me be a testimony of God's goodness...its not about the fire u will go through, cos there will be fire....its about coming unscathed, looking hotter, sexier, happier than before.....e.g. ME, lol......

So on a lighter note....I am very mad at you guys!!!....yes you reading this.....how come no one has asked how i have been dealing with the money situation? It was my anonymous reader Jags(shout out to all the anonymous readers, miss Jojo, Mary and everyone else) that asked me....you guys don't like me o....my feelings are hurt....all 5 personalities infact....lol....i think all 5 personalities are just craving attention....but yea, mumsy has come thru again and again, to pay for the basics, food, rent and my car, and of course my phone bill....I am no one without my phone(unfortunately)

Speaking of which i have had to change my phones 2 times already....t-mobile is seriously taking the piss i tell you.....and o I deactivated my facebook.....Yes, I said it.....I deactivated my facebook....lol...its hell....and all day I have been thinking of statuses in my head....but I really do need to focus, 3 more exams and a project in less than 3 weeks is kind of a big deal....so HE, thinks I cant do it...

Speaking of which again!!! lol... no one asked of HE...see u guys o? where is the interest? miss Jojo, wants me to reveal his name....I don't know why I am hiding it really....sometimes i think its a way to protect myself incase it doesn't work.....or maybe its just a way to keep him closer to me, u know.....I don't know......nwaays, HE thinks I cant stay off facebook all 19 days.....what say you? Can I or Cant I????

85 freaking hrs left.....can I hear a hell yea!!!!! I am so stoked about that I wont even lie....o and guys pray for me , there is a possibility of a job....starting September...in another cold city....but its a start.....that totally works for me.....so I really hope it works out.....it will be good to know that I got a job fresh out of college you know....

so back to doing exams, projects and overdue work....totally rocked my presentation on Saturday and the exam today....so this honors dream is looking like its going to happen.....Glory be to God...how was the past week and weekend for u guys....I miss u even when I don't write.....have a fantastic week ahead of u.....see u soon....xxxxxxx

Monday, July 13, 2009

Introduction

"Allow me to RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF, my name IS.......(Fill in the blank),....Lol"....I wrote this statement as my fb status and the two responses I got, was that I was confused and or jobless.....and it got me thinking......I haven't properly introduced myself to you, so allow me to do so........... As you most likely could tell by now, I have multiple personalities (I'm not sure which is writing this really, lol)...but I will try to describe how the multiple's make me whole.....I am the girl with a lot of dreams, who hopes to be able to eat her cake and have it.....You see I want to be this successful career Independent woman, who hopes to make changes in Nja's health system the likes of which Naija and the world isn't ready for yet....and yet my greatest desire is to hold my children in arms, and have a husband that I will love till I die, and he the same......Now tell me isn't that asking for too much.....never minding the fact that i also want to own a mag and run a state of the art school, and an orphanage and the Nigerian entertainment industry if i have my way about......lol, u see each personality has what it wants to do....and o, I forget to say I have 5 personalities......

I am the girl who believes in being able to express yourself anytime, but holding back is a virtue and not you trying to be fake....let me explain that.....I believe in digging your nose, I really do...at least for me its the only way to get anything out of my nose....tissue is just a pure waste of time and resource.....still, I will never ever ever be caught dead picking my nose, I will go the bathroom if I were in public, and even in my house I do it in the bathroom....that doesn't make me fake...it just means I have sense, i think, or I'm weird....again blame it on the personalities.....but people just farting anywhere, belching, being obnoxiously loud in public...really guys? lol.....

I am sure I have mentioned my love for sports, but I don't think I have mentioned my love for music....now this is where my above statement, will seem a contradiction.....cos I will dance anywhere....well except in a meeting and that's only cause I probably wont be listening to music....but a great song can't be on and I won't move my body (abomination)...but like i said above, you should have the good sense to move ur body, without acting like you are on the dance floor when you really are at the supermarket....I owe you a whole blog on music soon

I am also the girl, who thinks girls shouldn't leave their house without looking good, at least act like you put an effort into it......now that's totally different from putting on makeup....cos truth be told I still don't know how that works.....and its ok to use it still....but really all day, every day, even to walmart or in yaba market....wearing heels to the most inappropriate places....I mean really, I couldn't be bothered with a mirror.....but maybe its just cos in my mind I think I'm fine(lol)....but isn't that how we should all be? know that we are beautiful, especially when it radiates from the inside out....I swear everyday I find something sexy about my body, today it was my ankles......still every other day I find something I hate about my body, today as like most days it was my tummy.....

Speaking of which, I cant find a graduation gown....and one would say of course cos duh!!! ur ass hasn't gone to look....but I'm sure I told you I hate shopping and I find myself just getting attracted to black dresses( I Swear down, they are sexy as hell)...but I need color, something new....so ladies reading this pls suggest where I can find dresses online pls....lol....ooooo....It has to be under $30......lol....u all laughing I bet....but there is no way in hell I am spending so much money on a gown that I will wear once, the fact that its my masters graduation regardless.....lol....I swear, I wonder what I will do for wedding gown with this cheap mentality...but I do want to do something fantastic on my hair......OMG....that was totally Nife's personality taking over.....as HE would say, this is me selling my market( just means, trying to show whats good about me).....but I am not being boastful or anything....Its all to the Glory of God....I just thought you should know a lil sumn sumn about me, U getting me? (I said that out loud as i wrote, in a weird British accent, lol....)

On behalf of all my personalities though, I am so sorry for not writing in so long, and I do deserve spanking....No explanations, no excuses...but I Have been busy and trying to remain focused.........its the end of a chapter in my life and the beginning of another one you know...trying to lock my heart into my destiny and my destiny with God....making plans and decisions for a successful future.....113hrs left guys.....Can you freaking believe it? its almost over....wow......i don't think i will be fully joyful though until like the last week.....exam time, so no eating, no sleeping, really just work and school and facebook of course....lol....it wasn't a bad rest of the week and weekend and with my 5hr class for the week done, the rest of the week looks fantastic....how have you all been? I missed you....hope you had a fantastic week and weekend.....have an even better one this week......See u soon xxxxx

Monday, July 6, 2009

HouseWife

I can't even lie, I am totally interested in said position.......I used to look at girls in disgust when they said their ambition in life was to be housewives....Now as u know, I am a scholar by blood(although right now as I sit in this 5hr class and dread it, I am not so sure that's true).....so I always used to say that unless the man I marry (looking very slim also) can afford to give me in dollars/pounds the money I have spent on skool fees and lesson and lesson teachers and computer lessons and gas and provisions and so forth, then I will gladly be a housewife, cos shu I will be extremely paid......o and pls add interest off course......
U do realize that said man is impossible to find, that and the fact that I am just never attracted to very rich guys.....But, I can totally see myself being a house wife.....wake up in the morning, have breakfast ready for husband, get the kids ready, drop them off at school, then go to the gym, workout for an hour.....come home, clean the house, cook lunch and take it to my husband, and we eat together, and then I go back home, bake, do laundry, go pick up the kids, feed them, do their skool work with them, play some games, watch some tv, get them ready for dinner and bed, and welcome husband when he comes home......then we start all over the next day,.....note that I didn't mention shopping, cos I swear I HATE shopping ( I know weird for a girl innit?)HATE IT....grocery shopping I don't mind.....

Nways this came about, because this weekend......starting from Friday( yes, they gave us Friday off, 4th of July weekend) I stayed at home all weekend long, except for church and when my friends dragged me out for sumone's graduation and then we went to see the fireworks.....but yea I attempted to do scotch eggs.... beef patties, sausage roll, flour and 6 eggs later, I still didn't get it....now I know wat I did wrong, so I will attempt to try again tomorrow....But I baked my cake successfully......I'm good for those, I cant wait for my own house with electric mixers and stuff, so I can make professional looking cakes.....

The other thing I did this weekend(let me remind you I have multiple school work due)....was watch romantic movies......I am a lover.....I fall in Love easily and loyally and faithfully.....but I have never been big on romantic movies, romantic novels Yes, but not romantic movies......I swear I must have watched about 10 this weekend.....Keith featuring Jesse McCartney was my favorite I think.....He had cancer, loved this girl and treated her poorly, misusing the little time he had left, but she won't give up and she was there for him, till he died and after......omg, writing abt it and I want to cry again.....I am a sucker and then funny ones like Jessica Simpson in Blond ambition....it was really cute and she us not a bad actress....So, I think I've had enough of movies for a lifetime......novels are still better than books.....the Nora Roberts books turned movies were so crappy.....


In other news, Andy Roddick lost his match and I am so burnt....I officially hate Federer.....graduation is a month away........HALLEYUAH......my joy really knows no bound, if I can just focus now, and do my past due skool work(like the 4 I should be doing now, instead of writing a blog)...u see how much I love you guys......work was ok today, busy busy.....I like busy........wish me luck guys, this is the final stretch and I need to rein in and do well .......o I am so excited.....hope you all had a wonderful weekend, guys..............

see u soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and remain blessed

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Diamond Ring

NO NO NO!!!!!!!!! HE didn't give me one.....lol......lmao......such a misleading topic innit?....lol.....But no what I mean to say about diamond rings is that I DON'T WANT ONE.....again very misleading so let me clarify....yes I want to marry, God willing(Amen)....but no I don't want a big rock....a nice simple band will do, preferably white gold or platinum....and I will tell you why....sumtime last week, one of my co workers had us all on our knees, looking for the stone on her wedding ring(u see how I be leaving important gist out, lol)....she was in tears, went home to go look for it, came back after having not found it and the whole office was downcast....I get the sentiment behind it so I was very sad for her....but u see if he had given her a simple band in the first place.....there will be no blog will there.....lol.......


My topic should have been Diamond Ring and kids infact.......cos I know way too much people around me who are with child or just gave birth......my coworker just announced being with child yesterday(lol, I sound so proper, she is pregnant I mean).......not like its possible for me to be with child, except I am the virgin Mary reincarnated....but yo....I LOVE LOVE LOVE Kids.....I want like 4 and then I want to adopt a whole bunch....lol(HE, if u read this...no need to run,lmao).......but hmmm kids are expensive to raise, so in other wards I'm telling God that I need to be a billionaire to accomplish said task....

Thanks guys for ur comments, I really appreciate it......so you know what happened to me?.....HE...read the post yesterday.....o my gosh, I wan shit for pant(I was about to die) when he told me.....I was so embarrassed....I don't mind him seeing it, but I didn't think he was going to see it so soon......nways we good....I didn't doubt that we will be, u guys are my sounding board however, so I don't become one of those nagging girls, u know?

Boring class today, I was on fb the entire time.....and watch me get an A in that class......I swear I learn nothing from this skool, I have learnt so much from my job its amazing( just sucks that its unpaid,lol) but no complaints cos u know its almost over....hippeeeee.....speaking of which I brought some work home and I'm about to go pray(I'll gist u all abt it)....maybe if I am not so tired when I'm done so I can log in extra hrs.....I walked to skool today(lol, will tell u all about it tomorrow) that and my oyinbo girl look...should have taken a pic really......

goodnight folks........xxxxxx...yayyyy for first post in July