Friday, October 30, 2009

Survival of the fittest

Chapter 1

Alero was playing a new game, in her thirty two years on earth she had never been faced with this situation, and she was not sure what cards to play, much less playing it right.

Here's her story

Alero was born on a very hot day, as is typical of Nigeria, that more scorching than most August 15 1977 to Pastor Mr and Mrs Otega. Their last attempt, finally giving them their heart desires, the Lord had given them a beautiful girl and by jolly was she beautiful. Rumour had actually spread around that she could not be the kid of Ben and Precious Ortega – and they might have someone elses egg implanted. Not that they were not handsome couple, they were exceptional dressers so they always stood out in a crowd as well, but they were no head turners and Alero was a head-turner – even by the age of 2. Her smooth caramel complexion, her big large round, somewhat Chinese looking brown eyes, high cheekbones made her the talk of town. By age 13, with her breasts beginning to protrude, not heavy set, yet culpable and perky, strained against the clinging tops she always wore; she had long legs for days, her legs were longer than her upper body, complete with a very shapely booty, small but jutted out. She was a showstopper, totally unaware of her beauty with a smile that could melt ice and made both boys and men alike want to please, so she could shine her smile on them and brighten their day.

The last child of three brothers, Alero was over protected, especially by the first child John. He was her favorite brother, because he spoilt her mercilessly as long as she didn't leave the house, she was given anything she wanted. John attended the University of Lagos, and was very popular, the whole school knew him. What was amazing about him was not that he was in a Gang or Cult or that he attended the most parties, but is personality. He could charm the socks of anyone and had plenty charmed the women out their panties, not like they minded – it seemed none of the girls cared that he was sleeping around just that they were one of the ones he slept it, it seemed to raise their stock, elevating their levels from "unknowns" to a name with a face. And john was nice like that; he never went for the rich girls – or the ones from the popular schools like Q.C. and Lagoon – always hanging put in cliques, with their drivers dropping them off with their fathers Mercedes Benz or BMW. That all seemed to turn him off – no, he went for the quiet, shy, pretty but awkward girl – usually sitting at front of the class, trying not to steal glances at him and yet listening intently to the professor. He knew that the slightest attention by him, and most of the girls would do his bidding, but he also liked the chase – especially when the girl was a hardcore religion person, it turned him on immensely and for two months – the amount of time it took for him to break down her defenses, he was the perfect gentleman – treating her with all the respect and love he thought a woman deserved. And that's exactly what he was doing, showing them love, he loved women, thought they were special and tried his best not to hurt anyone of them, careful to detach himself immediately if he thought the girl was clingy or the jealous /nagging kind and always used protection so none of them could get pregnant for him.

Lately though, john was anxious about his younger sister – it was getting hard for her to protect her at home – these boys were vultures and his friends would always find an opportunity to stop by his house, even when they knew he was obviously not there. Also she was getting antsy, tired of being cooped up at home or only going out with Alex and Junior. She wanted to hang out with her girlfriends, and go out without the protection of her brothers. His parents were always very busy doing the work of the Lord; he felt it was his responsibility to take care of her. But she was in JSS 3 now in two weeks will be going to stay on campus for "extension" to get prepared for the Junior school examination coming up and he was plenty worried. The junior and senior school students always came for the extension to get prepared and he wasn't comfortable with the fact that she will be away and they were older guys around her. She was a good girl, he was sure of that and he wasn't worried about her but he knew what he did with girls that age, and although she might not be aware of it – he was very aware of her beauty and didn't want any boy, much less a senior boy or teacher to do anything to her. His mind still in a conundrum, he didn't even realize when Alero came into the room.

This is not a book, just lately been trying to do many different things with my writing, and tired of talking about sex and boys – I decided on a short story/screenplay – instead of the boring story that is my life, that u all have been gems to be a part of and tolerate and be there for me – critique/ advice – anything u got for me – to make this story better and big – who knows we can make a movie out of this – will be very much appreciated ….thanks and have a fantabulous weekend – muah

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Ignorant Folks

This is a story of ignorance and in this boys case - maybe just stupidity- I'm not sure which- what do y'all think ? So my cousins status had read --> "What's on my mind?????You are...You know you always are..So why you gat to ask????Validation???How bout this for validation.....24/7....365 days a year....And of course can't forget that extra one day in a leap year...You always are baby....ALWAYS!!!! " And it had the following two comments both from girls - the one had said "Honey u r always on my mind too" and then the other said "told u PDA wasn't necessary in this re-LA-tion-SHIP".....

Now I don't know about you but this doesn't sound gay to me - doesn't sound like the girls r together - any smart person can tell its a joke, right or is it just me? But some dude she knows took it rather personal and the following conversation ensued


oke: hey
Yet: Hey.what's up?
oke: am gud. well wats with them girl saying she loves u nd u saying u do aswell?
Yet: That's because they do love me..And I happen to love em back!
Oke: nd wat kinda love wuld dis be if i may ask?
Yet: The same kinda love I have for you and everybody else!! Just expressing how I feel!!
oke: about who?
Yet: Not that that's important..But its about people I love and care about!!
oke: i just hope it aint eat am thinking tho
Yet: Not that I know
Oke:ok then cus i still realy like u
Yet: I don't know what you are thinking so maybe it is or maybe its not!
oke: like u likin girls nd date girls, thats wat am saying here
Yet: Maybe..Maybe not..Wherever I find my happiness is what matters!!
oke: u realy hav to get this thots off ur mind, no girl can giv u happiness
Yet: You don't know that..Even I don't know..But am willing to explore my possibilities..Life is full of possibilities..So am not gonna shut the door on something without exploring it!!
oke: u ve ur life to live, if this is what u wann do then fine. but remember i told u ''u can never find happiness that way'',stop thinking like them freak-ass white people, u r a nigerian, a strong woman at that, u ve to think like ut people nd get where every1 expects u, realy cant believe u still think this way, u told me dis sometime ago nd i thot u were joking
Yet: I don't live my life by anybody but God's standards..So I don't need to go anywhere anybody expects me to go..And by no means do I need to think about "my own people"..My own people are so backwards they can't even fix their own country..And am suppose to think like them??Where has that thought process gotten them..Again imma tell ya..Wherever I find myself happiness is where I find it!!
oke: just tell me straight nd stop beating around d bush. ARE U GAY?
Yet: My sexual orientation/preference is NOBODY but my business..So let's keep it that way!!
oke: yeah kool,nice 1, hav fun, k?-but remember i told u - u can neva find happiness that way- i no them better than u do- cus i used to chat as a girl online with them, and scam them off their money - they flirt more than the normal guy girl thinks - i did this for years nd know wat am sayin- just remember i told u- go look for a nice guy nd settle down with him- they hav alotta gud nice guys here k?
Yet: Let me worry about where I find my happiness..I'll settle with whoever and whenever..Don't worry bout me..Am good!!
oke: good then. hav fun. bye
Yet: Alright..Great chatting with you like always!
oke: aint great chatting with u anymore

Now as u can tell, my cousin is a trouble maker and could have easily put him out his misery cos she is infact straight and has a man - but the idiot choose to assume and showed all levels of ignorance.

Nways guys discuss wat do u think? Am I being harsh? Let me know

Monday, October 26, 2009

This is Me

Yay the day is over and it was a great day – just my kind of day – Got ballons, cake , chocolates went to lunch and dinner – countless calls,fb msgs, texts, bb msgs - so much prayer I am covered for the rest of my life I tell you – thank you all so much once again - all Glory to God Almighty Speaking of dinner – all these 18 year old boys are trying to put me in trouble – our waiter at red lobster tonight was deliciously fine - I know I shall be having sweet dreams about him for months to come – was going to give him my number and then I asked him his age and he goes he is 18 - i'm already sad at this point - and then we r leaving and he goes happy birthday ma'am - *dead* - agba ti de men – I am old Best friend's birthday was great- dinner at the Marriott – but then we went to some lounge and we were just looking at each other – when we could have gone to a club to get our boogey on – I'm just not a lounge person especially cos more than half of us didn't drink or want to drink and after talking for 3hrs at dinner there was not much to say – I was sleeping there, lol and then we went to an after party – turned out to be a naija thing and at first all them naija songs were jamming – not bad – then dj started playing all them oldies – dmx "ruff riders anthem" jay –z " h to the izzo, v to the izzy" 50 cent "wanksta" Biggie, Tupac, lil kim– I mean everything – now I'm a Michigan girl – and in them clubs they always play that and shu I know the lyrics to all them song – I'm gangsta like that – lol, u should have seen, nja guys don't know what to do with females like me – they all were just looking – I can't blame them, hot girl that raps too – shu ko easy – my best-friend was so mad – she wanted to kill me and then the dj – lol, that's my gist sha So I told you my mum is a joker abi – she tells me how she wore this one brown dress we got together on Sunday and wore some other suit we got on Monday to celebrate my birthday – why is she celebrating my own birthday? – lol – and the woman is going to tell me that she was looking good enough to eat – e gba mi o, my mum is killing me – I was just laughing, she does have a way to make me smile and fill my heart with joy – but imma have to marry that woman off for real – yes my mum is single, so it's ok – she is getting hotter as she gets older it's so not fair to me lol………………….Speaking to my mum reminded me of when my parents had divorced/separated and my dad won't let us see her, but she would always come over on anyone's of us birthday and take us out to eat and we always went to the studio to take pictures …to see how far God has taken us and what he has done in our lives – God is awesome sha – I wrote something the other day – I am Exploring that which is ME- My Findings have been Inconclusive... The Discoveries so far - safe yet interesting... and my Future - should be entertaining, joyful, purposeful and blessed – I like this yo – I like this understanding of myself and confidence in where I am – I am not sure I could explain my life any further so imma just show you pictures from the day and best friends bday – will be taking it off in a day or so – be nice So #MusicMonday I just have three songs for you - one is my bday song for the day and the other two are just representative of the state of mind I am in – I told u before I am a lover and so I know that my man - the man I Choose will never be able to say that my love was never enough for me – females let me tell you right now it's ok to be mushy lovey dovey about your man, do for ur man – cook, clean, sex him good and still be very strong, independent and your own person – that's my opinion sha

Enjoy and let me end by saying this Life is Short So Break Rules, Forgive Quickly, Kiss Slowly, Love Truly, Laugh Uncontrollably, & Never Regret Anything That Made U Smile!!!

P. s......so so sorry its late - lol, i say that a lot abi - its still my bday in this part of town sha

p.ps - pictures have been taken down if u r reading this late

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Thank U & Short Story

So 49th post…whoop whoop!!! Want to do two things tonight – say a special thank you to blogsville and my friends and tell you a true story using pseudo-names and I need your help on what the character should or shouldn't do.

First…. Thank you to my friends and the entire blogsville family for your support since I joined the community – when I started I used to talk about my boring self a lot – everyday activities from the internship, and about graduation and then HE……remember HE… you guys are mean sha, no one even asked of him anymore – e da o….lol, I kid, HE is fine and is a sweetheart…..HE jokingly asked me to marry him, well I think HE was joking….lol… not telling you my answer – u will find out soon enough if we do get married anyways…

Nways I digress, I just want to say thank you for all the encouragements, support, prayers, advice, love, kindness shown – it really has been terrific – I don't know why I even started blogging, but it has really been the best decision of my life – they say "writing works wonders" – and goodness gracious it has transformed my life….opened me up in ways I can't imagine – I am equally as open as I am private, it's funny cos I am talking to someone randomly and they tell me all these stuff they read on here –I'm wondering how they knew, sometimes I think cos people don't comment they don't read it– equally as secretive as I am a gbegborun (blogsville does that to you)

Thank you, Thank You, Thank You – I appreciate you all and God Bless and I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and have the best week ever – it's my week – y'all are starting the week right it's my birthday after all, lol and Myne Whitman's too (y'all go over and wish her a happy birthday as well) …..So yea that's that

On to the story

This is the story of Kola and Toyin – Kola is 21 and Toyin is 23 ….. Kola developed feelings for Toyin since he was 19 and dogged her day and night – Toyin thought he was cute and considered him a friend and about a year later she would make out with him and refused to have a relationship or sleep with him, she was still a virgin at this point too – but she also knew if she was going to have sex he wasn't going to be her first – so for a while they made out often and just kept it friendly – well somewhere in there she met someone else and they had sex, but things didn't work out ( is it just me or does it never work out with the first, they can't all be cads can they? Lol) well fast forward and now Kola and Toyin start a sexual relationship, body no be firewood - he was here and all the other guys who were interested in her just seemed to be far away – she hates long distance – nways so its Toyin's birthday a couple weeks back – and I'm wondering what special things she did with Kola, u know, "its ur birthday so you know you want to riiiidddeeee" – you know some of that birthday loving, gifts and the likes – and she goes not only does he just text and not call to say happy birthday, he doesn't show up for her bday dinner

Now me I'm gangsta like that – I won't say anything – it's an instant delete from my life – and if u try yourself – I can give u a freaking dirty slap – but I don't want to give her any such advice, really don't want to say anything and prolly won't but im just wondering what you think – what would you do? what should she do if anything at all?– and just your general opinion on why guys always fuck up a good thing or their thought process – please refrain from insulting Toyin I appreciate it …thank you

So imma gist you about the best friends party on Saturday and imma finally put a picture up, – my tummy is swollen o, I don't know what else to do o jare, o su mi… show me love, lol …..And of course it's a Monday so imma be doing my #Music Monday as usual… see u then….Happy birthday Myne Whitman and Happy birthday to me too



Saturday, October 24, 2009

Hmmmmm!!!!!

Random thots

Expecting coffee crunch ice-cream cake for the birthday – that and a glass of sparkling cider and that's my bday – o going to look for a new top and maybe some lingerie– lol, I like to pop tags on my bday

Speaking of which, the other day I'm talking to my mum and I go we should get you a new car for your 50th birthday – and she goes "new as in tear rubber" lol she is hilarious and cracks me up all the time

Like some other day she is talking about how she went to my sisters skool (Unilag) to see her and she is in some skinny jeans I got her the year before, and that some young boys were trying to holla at her, my mum actually said "won ko mi je bi indomie" for my non Yoruba's – it means they are eating me up like indomie – in other words she was saying she is hot – lol, u gotta love cool mothers

So watching this show and the woman had been raped – 8 weeks later finds out she is pregnant – ecstatic, they had been praying and trying for a child since they got married- but she doesn't know if her husband or the rapist is the baby father – they do a pregnancy test and find out it's the rapist – husband gets furious, insist they abort …… I agree with him, I don't think she will ever forgive herself, if the child is born, she is forced to relieve that moment every time she looks into the face, no matter how beautiful he or she is…… I am pro-life, I don't believe in abortion unless on two occasions – does that sound contradicting? 1. When a child 13-16 has a baby, especially with no support from her parents – what life can she give a child, and there are enough suffering children, no need adding one to the world. 2. When one is raped – the psychological effects are way too much on the mother it transfers on to the child and they realize this as they grow older – my theory is that immediately after being raped a woman should try to get rid of the pregnancy- my opinion

I need guys to know that it's ok to joke a lot with your girl but there has to be a limit – like ok we always insult each other, cool, but the day I tell you to stop and you go ahead to say u r stupid or an idiot or sumn like that, don't expect me to think it's a joke and not want to forgive you – I don't want no man who insults me when we are married, almost as bad as a man beating you – ladies learn to draw the line, ur man shouldn't joke with you as he jokes with his friends

I am finding myself at 23 still – I find that amazing – although I reckon if I was asked to describe myself in 3 words – mine won't ever change from when I was a child till I die – strong, loyal and friendly

Can you describe yourself in 3words and has it changed from the years and might it still change?

P.S. wishing my bestest friend in the whole world a wonderful bday.....love u babes

Friday, October 23, 2009

Why wouldn’t?

Dependable

Reliable

Confident

Smart

He even has a job

Great sense of humor

Can hold a great conversation

Loyal

Great manners

Asks the right questions

Looks out for my needs

Sensitive

Strong

Dresses well

So why……………

         Why wouldn't my heart beat for you?

        Why wouldn't it race at the sound of your voice?

        Why wouldn't it falter at the look in your eye?

        What do I have to do to take you from friend zone to boyfriend possibility?

        What else do you have to do?

        Why wouldn't my heart approve you to be the man of my dreams?


 

    

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Riches on Earth

Ummmm so I don't know where to start? My blood is still boiling over – I really need to get my emotions in check lately – but yea to the story at hand….so I'm contemplating going to the gym ( which I did by the way, yayayaaaay me)when I see a high school buddy puts up a post she called her testimony – she had been in the hospital for 30days for a kidney problem – omo 19 abi 20 sha, the devil is a liar….nways me and the best friend are reading and we notice that she mentioned no one was there for her – it's funny maybe cos we are Christians and we believe in God and miracles – her finding God and being healed was not the message we got from her note – you know how sometimes the pastor starts a sermon and you don't think the message is for you, but then there is just one line, one particular word you hear and hold on to – well this was that for us - the fact that she mentioned that through it all she was alone -her fam in naija( her mum was able to come later and bro came when he could), and friends were on vacation so those not in naija were home – was wat she told me – so I ask her cos I see her on chat what happened to your boyfriend – apparently they had broken up some days before she fell sick -so I ask her don't you have a best-friend – where was she? Reply "she called me every-day to ask me when I will leave the hospital to go party" - to the Glory of God she survived, esp through people who called to pray for and with her

Now you all know that I put my friends on a pedestal – and maybe maybe I am mistaken and I haven't really been through enough for my friends to prove themselves to me – but I do know about myself – she could not have been my best-friend and they didn't have a bed beside her for me – even if I was in naija and she was here, I will be buying a ticket, and my folks will be paying for it, talk-less of when I start making my own money…..and that's just me – but truth is I will bet my whole life that my best-friend would the same – and she won't be alone

I remember sometimes earlier this year when we lost a friend that I wasn't even so close too – but my brother was and so were a whole bunch of other people I knew –they didn't tell me she was sick until that day and I showered and drove an 1hr plus to see her, was there all day, praying to God for her life – unfortunately she still passed – I'm not a saint – I'm not even a good person truth be told – but if there is one thing I believe in its in friends – I don't play with my family and friends – I will kill for my family and friends, and yet I will be the same person who will call a friend out on something

This is my theory – my friends have been my riches on earth – I won't be where I am without them – wasn't I just talking about this last week the other day – when did people become so self absorbed, so horrible? Why don't we value each other, our friends? Am I being judgmental by thinking she needs a totally new set of friends – am I too trusting and maybe none of my friends would show up for me if I was in such a position – except shu even in smaller things my friends have proven themselves – I was so hurt I cried when she kept saying she learnt her lessons and humans would fail you, don't trust anyone – even the ex boyfriend, apart from the two I don't talk to, I don't know of any of my ex boyfriends that wouldn't have come to look for me even if its only for a day – am I being irrational? Maybe she wasn't a good friend hence the payback….maybe I am na├»ve in my thinking- but you can have all the riches in the world and yet I am wealthier than you for each friend I have –

I don't know I'm rambling now – but are you as hurt as I feel? Am I misyarning? Am I stupid? Do I care too much for my friends? Am i in for a shock in the future? Ha whatever yo I stand by my precepts and theories – but pls feel free to talk about this, discuss, tell me what you think –however harsh? Boiling again – lol I am officially insane

Yo btw God has shown himself magnificent in my life again as always – I will be telling you all about it around this time tomorrow – take care

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Pretentions & Pleasures

I just want to say I am so so sorry for spewing all that disgusting hateful words yesterday even if it was about me – I guess not having a job and not feeling accomplished, working out had become something I did as a job expecting results and when the scale appeared to be saying otherwise I was furious – im really not self conscious about myself or anything like that, I swear – pls forgive me? Thanks, gracias mucho – back to the gym tomorrow

Pretentions

I hate fake, pretentious people – for the longest its why I could not get along with females, even though I am female – but maybe it was just the schools I went to, but there were a whole bunch of pretentious bitches around me growing up and even some family members – now let me explain….. I am the kind who will dress up to go the movies for example or even sometimes to the mall – the thing is it depends on my mood, cos on some other days I could not give a rats ass – I don't know anybody – but I like to always leave a good first impression in case I for example ever meet someone – but I will not lie about something I don't know – e.g. a lot of people think o I just say I love sports, and really don't know anything – until they ask me a question and I make them look stupid – but with that said I know my limits – I don't know everything about sports except basketball, soccer and tennis – I only know the basic about most sports enough to hold a conversation ….so you won't hear me arguing about baseball for example – cos ummm other than A Rod, Manny Ramirez and Barry Bonds – which btw r like the most important names u should at least know and know that a regular game is 9 innings and know that Yankees fan and Red Sox fans don't get along except they are married to each other– I know shit – so I will not be having heated conversations with no one about baseball –

So you can imagine my disgust at people who think they are on point cos they sleep with makeup and wakeup with makeup and in their minds they are hot – or they think by arguing about a subject they know shit about they sound intelligent or faking some kind of stupid accent or using big grammar among friends – I'm sorry that shit don't fly – it's so unnecessary its mind boggling that people spend the time and effort on things that are so non impressive – and I swear down God has given me some kind of 6th sense to detect fake people pronto – like I could tell you just by looking at them – yea yea, don't judge a book by its cover – but folks, if it walks like, talks like, acts like a dog – 1000% sure it's a freaking dog –

True story – disclaimer: to you this may not by big deal, at which point you might think me stupid – but these are the kind of things that bother the heck out of me -/// so at some dinner, this girl had come late and the kitchen had been closed, waiter sees her come in ignores her and her boyfriend cos he already told the rest of us the kitchen was closed – I guess the celebrant was tispy and told them they had 5mins – well 5mins pass and they look for the waiter and the waiter says kitchen closed and she gives a fit, like she had never seen food before, awesome waiter he was so polite even offering to call the manager….nways random guy beside her has a plate of shrimp and offers her some and she says & I quote "I don't eat bottom feeders" wikipedia definition – "A bottom feeder is an aquatic animal that feeds on or near the bottom of a body of water" – now of course everybody goes "you say what?" because not that we couldn't figure out wat it meant once we thought about it but who says shit like that – you could have easily said "no, thanks I don't eat fish" a simple "no, thanks" would have sufficed - and the thing is sometimes it's not what you said it's how you said it

Nways I guess my point is – I know for some it's just that fear of putting ourselves out there, getting hurt that causes the pretentions, but you do it often enough you don't realize when you come off as a pure jerk


 

Pleasures

Every day I almost always find sumn to complain about usually – but every night I always remember how joyful my life is and how truly (not me faking it till I make it) Happy I am – I owe it all to the Peace that passes all human understanding that God has given me – plus 3 out of my 5names have joy in it – so you best believe I was born to be forever joyful and to be a source of joy – today I am happy because I made some fantastic beans and I bought a new black(my fav color) wallet – It was even designer….hheheheheh Liz Claiborne sha – I tried – lol, but it's so chic – o plus it's a couple days to my bday that I shall not be receiving any presents – but God dey sha

Nways that's all folks see you tomorrow ….have a blessed day

Monday, October 19, 2009

Just one of those days

So today was just one of those days …. Annoying is not a good word, frustrating is more like it and I totally hate days like today when I feel totally unaccomplished and useless…..

O and then I checked my weight at the hospital and I am 142lb at 5'2 that's overweight – which means all my working out every day, my detox, nothing is working – I quit cos I'm so mad, the mirror and my clothes have been lying to me – cos I thot I had lost weight - the last time I checked my weight about 2months ago at the hospital again I was 139lbs –so right now I am just mad, frustrated, disgusted and fat – I totally hate myself

Now that I am done with the self degredation, self humiliation, self bashing – I bring to you the only thing that helps other than prayer and that's music – today's selection has no theme, just thot to share with you – btw sorry the post is so late, again it was due to the rather bad day – I intend to post one everyday leading to the birthday btw @ which point I was going to show my new body, but it doesn't look like that's happening anymore – so we will see …..I digress, back to the music


First Song today is by country black boy – lol, u gotta love him for his boldness into that scene Darius Rucker – my brother introduced me to this song last night and I knew I had to share it with you all – the song speaks for itself and even as I listen to it now to play for you – all I can say is Thank you Jesus, through it all I Thank you Jesus



Next song is by my man, Mr Robin Thicke – Gosh I am so jealous of his wife – I think she is the luckiest woman in the world right now – his voice sha – plus I think he is a freak albeit a quiet one but a freak nonetheless – the song is called sex therapy and I could do with a little bit of that myself *cough, Cough* but ummm yea, wat was I saying – o yea I love this song, lol.



Next Song is by the king of R n B – yes I said it he is the king, Rkelly – jeez his lyrics just make me joyful – he has a way with words – he knows what females love – sometimes I think I talk too much – listen to this song and let me know if you hear the same thing I hear



You know I'm cheesy yea – but I also believe in young talents and its why I love this song – I used to watch this guy on the show "Lincoln Heights" on Abc Family and used to think damn he should sing – not knowing that was what they were doing when all of last season his character was singing and learning to dance – his name is Mishon and he is so cute and his voice is great – I love the innocence in this song, talking about "imma let you rock my chain now until you are old enough to rock my name" – that is so cute – I know its cheesy but I love it – do you?



And because the world isn't always so happy and just because I love Jojo – and apparently she is on some broken hearted trip, as in "
Impossible to love" and "How you did it" – imma end today with a sad song – you know that ex that you just hate yet you keep remembering all the good times you both had or for some he/she was good to you and you let him/her go – this song sings what you think – lol – you gotta love the way songwriters put what you r thinking on paper and you listen to them and think " I could have totally written that" – nways listen jo, lol



Nways that's it folks – how was your weekend? Went to my first baby shower and some chic irritated me, I will tell you all about it tomorrow – I hope you are all doing way better than I am – thanks for all the encouragement and support – y'all tk cr and stay blessed

Friday, October 16, 2009

My Friend

Many of you know that I adore my friends and to those who don't know most of my friends are my family members – my parents know them, yes even the boys and I treat them like I will treat my siblings….. nways the point being I love and adore most of my friendship as you can already tell with the friendship I have cultivated with you blogsville…. After getting annoyed with a friend and talking to my best friends J.S and A.O – both whom I am dedicating this to - who have just been my constant support and rock, I remembered again why it's so hard for me to just totally loose or gain friends…nways I'm rambling now imma go to the poem….point is I love you all and you should cherish your friends always

A friend – knows I have siblings

You friend – know my siblings names and birthdate

A friend – knows the size of my shoes

You friend – know my taste in shoes, colors and designs

A friend – knows I like icecream

You friend – know the kind of ice-cream I like

A friend – knows I have a job

You friend – know my vision & dreams, for my career and my life

A friend – sees my mood

You friend – know the reason behind my mood

A friend – will say Amen to my prayer

You friend – pray and fast for me

A friend – thinks he knows me

You friend – understand me, never undermine me

You friend – trust me and look out for me

You friend – know that I will tell you in due time, not always immediately

You friend – mean a lot to me and I love you for being My Friend




Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Tip of my tongue

He screamed out "her" name in pleasure….except it wasn't the her giving him the amazing blow job, at this point he couldn't remember her name….. and gaddammmmmitt was it amazing, he honestly couldn't say if it was amazing cos she was that good or because the release had been months coming

You see he hadn't been with "her" or anyone for 6months and he was tired and had really tried to take care of his needs himself – he had almost finished the jar of Vaseline and was feeling like a loser – he was becoming the butt of all the jokes from his friends who knew he was waiting on her…. The phone calls, texts, blackberry messages, seeing her on skype – nothing was working to keep him from wanting her so close

He had been denied the visa to come see her and she couldn't get time off work as she was having problems with her boss – He liked to call her a witch cos she was stressing his girl and made him a wanker

He wasn't ashamed to admit he loved sex, he was a healthy young man with a healthy appetite for a woman's body, and sex with her had made him more vibrant than he ever thought possible and now she was the fetish, his very fantasy come to life and he hadn't had her for six months – all he wanted was her, on his new table in the kitchen and on the loveseat they never got around to using her last trip – he had actually gotten her to undress for him while they were on skype together a couple times, she was so shy and cute and then she would smile and it just took his breath away

Lately though, they fought a lot – the distance was beginning to affect even her – and their last fight was silly in retrospect

She had called to tell him that one of their friends was trying to hit on her – he was still going to knock that nigger out the first chance he got – but she had said it so casually like it was no big deal – in her own words "if he thought that no other guy was interested in her, then he wasn't thinking straight" at which point he cut the phone, cos it was at the tip of his tongue to tell her to go to hell and to end the damn relationship that got him nothing in anycase, other than this longing feeling…..she had said none of the other guys offered her anything and all she wanted was him because she loved him, but how was he to trust her?what was he really offering her ?– gosh he hated this – he hated how this love he felt made him feel insecure, made him feel only complete when he was with her – this feeling that made him feel like a selfish jerk thinking only about having sex with her

Truth is he wanted more than anything to make love with her – but he also wanted to watch a soccer game with her, she was an Arsenal fan, he a Liverpool fan and he loved the rivalry – he loved watching her swim, cos he wouldn't be caught dead in a pool, he hated the water – he wanted to watch family guy with her, she didn't understand the show and the only thing funnier than stewie and the gang was watching how perplexed she was at the jokes he thought were hilarious

Screw the melancholy – he was tired of caring and so he decided to go out for drinks that night – got drunk and two hrs later – he was back home with a girl whose name he couldn't remember and on the tip of his tongue was the name of the woman he desired even as he felt that sweet release of come.... as he escorted her out his place moments later – he felt the need for a very hot, unforgiving shower – cos he felt slightly dirty and didn't know why


To be continued………….

Monday, October 12, 2009

#MusicMonday

Hey Hey Hey.....how u doing?(in my best Wendy Williams Voice).....how was your weekend folks? Mines was just chilled...finally saw "I can do bad all by myself" and it was really good and funny and you should all see it....I especially love the song choices....

In other news - I started my detox this morning and already all I want is food - amazing for someone who hates food, but I know I will go through with it plus best friend and her mum are doing it as well, so no choice.....my cousin says I have body image issues - I say I want to be skinny and fit - kini big deal right?

Still waiting on God for a job and I kinda gave him a timeline - is that bad? nways still praying and believing and I want to encourage you to do the same for whatever you are waiting on him for...birthday is drawing closer and i'm so excited, I really don't look my age, but truth is I am getting older..lol, I'm happy still....it looks I can pull off making the 50th blog post on my birthday and thats a good look

Ok to the main reason for this post - you all seem to like the songs I put up, so I am going to make it a regular. First song is from the movie " I can do bad all by myself" - by Ms Mary J Blige....Now i'm not a troubled woman or anything - rather the very opposite but you don't have to be troubled or a woman to understand this song - the value of self esteem is priceless, no one should have to tell you your worth people and before I start preaching imma leave it and let you listen for yourself.....



This next one is the new song by the King of Pop himself -Micheal Jackson- I am still really sad that he is dead, its really such a shame and I can only hope he is in Heaven - I like the message in this song as well - you gotta love love and lovers alike



Folks if you haven't already - please please go get Mario's Album - D.N.A - it is fire yo!!!! and this song is just proof - he is telling his girl she has to choose between him and the other man - and its rather sweet cos my ass won't be begging you to choose - cos your trifling ass will be already out the door...schewww, the love is definitely not that deep - lol - I love this song



awwww Chris Brown is still the bizzness folks and I don't care that he his a woman beater - cos God knows he couldn't have tried that shit with me - but yo this song sounds like the first real apology to miss Rhi Rhi(who btw I think has psychological problems, but thats my opinion) - I loves it



Ok, most of you will just kill me for featuring this but I Love Love Love this song - its so dope, the production by Polow Da Don is too good.....hahahahaha this song is too funny...."I hate a Hating ass chick - real talk i keeps it cracking".....its 3LW folks - I know right who? its been a minute and the girls still got it - so don't hate - lol



There you go folks - what you think, you like them songs? O so did you know Jay Sean is Punjabi? I should have known with his looks huh? interesting I think, cos he is the first of his people to be #1 on the billboard charts with his song Down ...thats the acoustic version and its so cool, cos you can hear the quality and richness of his voice on here...loves it

Have a great rest of the week folks and stay blessed....and continuation of the story coming up Wednesday - very interesting *wink*

Friday, October 9, 2009

I Long

So I was inspired by akaBagguci's last post and yesterday's overdose of RocNaija….so I thought I was immune to his charm, since it seemed every girl in blogsville is interested in him, but after reading every post he's written I can see why….ladies and gentleman, I have a crush….lol….that's beside the point…. I haven't written a poem in a while, and so I hope it comes out as well as it is in my head…honest criticism folks, I will really appreciate that…. Unfortunately, it's about love again….it's been a while I've written something dark, I guess I am just really happy and for that I Thank God….Enjoy and thanks


I long for your warm embrace

In which I always feel so safe

When you wrap your arms around me, I am like a child with his favorite blanket

So that even when we are asleep and you move away, I feel your absence through the maze of my dreams


I long for your smile

In which I always feel beautiful

When you see me from across the room, take a minute to stare and then smile so brightly

Transforming your dark face, translucent, like the beacon from a light tower


I long for your kiss

In which I feel loved

When you take my lips in yours, carefully tasting and nibbling away at every inch

Like I am your favorite bowl of icecream, Ben and Jerry's Karamel sutra, chocolate and caramel ice cream with fudge chips


I long for you

For with you, I am whole

Your words edify me, your mouth appreciates me, your body testifies to me

I long for you, that I might find myself again, for you are my missing puzzle


Monday, October 5, 2009

Sucka for love

If you are on twitter...you know today is #MusicMonday - and people do this thing religiously i tell you...putting up what songs they listening to currently - hmmm that just gave me an idea, maybe I should do a #musicday on here, bringing you the best in new music, from the previous week because there is a new song everyday across the world....

So my bestfriend is weird - the other day, we were at a friends house and they start playing all these old school jams, brandy-come a lil bit closer, donnel jones - where I wanna be, wyclef jean ft mary j blige - 911, keith sweat- nobody....I mean at this point i'm going crazy, i'm moving my body like i'm doing it, I mean i'm grooving on this chair like i'm a stripper or something and so were the friends, talking about listening to these songs back in the days, in high school, the first person we kissed cos of the songs and shit - and my best friend is looking at us like we are mad, as in she seriously looked lost...I love her tho, because she be knowing some songs i don't expect her to like Kings of Leon - use somebody, Pink - bad habits and Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

But nways back to my topic - yes I am a sucka for love - I love love - the idea of it, the fantasy of it, the reality of it - I love love love love....and if you know me, you know I love everybody, my bestfriend thinks I am mad - but I genuinely love people and i'm the kind that is in love with sumone even after dating for only a month and if it doesn't work out, I move on- its really that easy...anyways this love thing has had me in a clutchold for the past week or so and it seems like every song I hear is about love - and I just got my new shipment of songs today so let me share with you some of the new love songs ...



Enough said about this song, Marques Houston, I have a case of you boo..and if this song doesn't get you - you don't have a soul...lol, but I esp love that the girl is thick and doesn't have a flat tummy- lol, I feel so normal...


Then there is this one Frankie J - Greatest thing - reminds me of that kiddie bible song, "love is the greatest gift of all, with God's love in my heart, I can be a shining light, cos love is the greatest gift of all" - do you remember it? i love this song by the exclusive Frankie J....


Then Keri Hilson - Heart Attack---"I never knew love could knock me over like this"...awwww, doesn't this just want to make you fall in love?.....*deep sigh*


Then if there is any group that knows how to do love songs - that knows what love is, Boyz II Men----I can hear the awwws and sighs now....this one is called "Open Arms" and there is nothing to say other than that I pray for all of us that we find such love....


And finally imma end, with a song that drives me to tears, every time, I mean every single time i hear it...Brandy come a lil bit closer will forever be a classic and she can never do better than this song...

That's it folks.....my love message to you today, if you have a crush on someone, sometimes its ok to be bold to say it, because they may have the feelings, and are just shy, so you both might miss out on the love of your life...have a great love filled week folks....

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Memory Lane

I find myself currently going down a rather disturbing and long walk through memory lane and its annoying me…it all started cos I found out that this guy I used to have a huge crush on is all wifeyed up…not surprising, but you know all this crushes you have, that you just kinda think you are the best person for them and can change their lives….lol, I said I was hurt but my best friend guy goes I was just jealous…lol…uhmm I have never been jealous a day in my life, but he might have some merit……HE don't kill me, when you see this, I luff you…..lol….so I came up with a theory….like I always do, Freud would call it a defense mechanism – specifically rationalization……he might be right…..

This is my theory -I think memory lane should be a path less travelled - for it must mean your future ain't so bright….let me explain

We should all be looking to the future, especially at our young ages….looking forward to families we will have, the careers we will have, our travels, triumphs and joys….even at an old age, we might look to the past to reminisce, but the future should be about leaving a legacy on earth and enjoying the time we have left on earth….

Does this make sense?

I'm about to be 23 and if I am looking backward to a relationship that never was, it must mean that I am not so sure or confident that I will find that same "love" in the future you know…or be successful or be happy and uhmmm that's just all kind of wrong…..

Truth is I am looking forward to my future and I am being cocky only because I believe in God when I say it will be fantabulous… lol…. I am looking forward to exploring that love I keep "dreaming" and fantasizing about…I'm looking forward to being a wife and a mother, sister, friend and daughter still and an example to those around me, an embodiment of change, a doer not a talker, making a difference in Nigeria and rich…..hahhahhaha

Lol….that's my two cents for today….. I have been very emotional this past week, but I think I might have just been pmsing really bad….which will be a first…. I am beginning to doubt that any emotion expressed or felt this week was because I actually felt something but rather my hormones were just over- racing…..AWKWARD….lol

So operation skinny bitch is going well, although I took a break today only because I will be doing a 5k breast cancer walk tomorrow…..whoop whoop…in this Houston sun sha, I hope I don't die…..o btw, so my butt is growing….. I really thought I will lose it in the process of exercising but it's the opposite…. I will put a pic up, but I'm shy…..some 15lbs to go….I'm excited

Countdown to the birthday begins o…..Scorpio babies' rock…..lol….shoutout to all my October babies and bloggers…..imma try and make my 50th post coincide with that day, but I doubt it….lol…..and the unveiling to my new body will be that week….hopefully I remain consistent with the dieting and the exercising….

How r u folks, wat it do? Hope you are all staying blessed….God Bless and keep you and have a fantastic weekend…


muah