Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year + Bye

From the depths of my soul, I wish you a Happy New Year. May it be all that you hope and desire, prosperous and blessed.

The year doesn't look so good for me already, isn't that sad? I won't be here a lot if ever again. But who knows what the future holds. But I'm tired of sharing sad stories and that's all I've got right now.

Please continue to read my work in Vanguard Newspaper Nigeria. Every Sunday's Allure publication. My column is called Inspired by Style. Also at and for music reviews. Also please check out my baby's blog...'s a weird but interesting writer, do encourage her.

Will be checking out your blogs as per usual, wishing you all the very best.

Neefemi signing out

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!

I like how everybody is saying this was the best year of their lives. I'm happy for you, really i am. This was the most horrible year of my life, i can't even put it in words how much. And when last night, the last bomb dropped, i had to laugh. My heart has been broken, my spirit broken, my mind and soul broken, i feel like i spent most of this year a walking dead. What a year!!!

But do you know what this year brought for me....The Best friends i could ever have. I met the most generous people this year, who gave of their time by praying for me, thinking of me, sending me a loving word or two. If i told you how many bloggers/friends/twitterfam sent me money this year or even offered. So many people who have never met me, probably won't recognize me if they see me face to face who have been blessings to me. It brings tears to my eyes every time i think of it. I may have not had money this year, but i had and have a lot more than money can buy. Loads of Love, Love that i don't deserve after-all what have i done to deserve it other than dump my problems on you. This was Gods way of blessing me this year, you were all God's blessing to me this year.

So i wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. The Love you have shown me will never depart from your life and he will renew you each and every day. You will continue to find favor in the sight of the Lord and Man. He will grant you all your heart desires and make your path easy before you. From the bottom of my heart i say a big THANK YOU, for you were all blessings to me this year.

Allow me this when i say that 2011 will be the best year of my life in Jesus Name. Not the way numerous people say it, but because it couldn't get worse than it has been. And i will be honored to go through the new year with you all. so may the Good Lord, keep us safe above all. Have a fantabulous day guys.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. ~ Isiah 9:6


Thursday, December 16, 2010

On a lighter note

OMG GUYS!!!! I'm so sorry. I mean i know i have a right to share anything i want here, but i feel so bad unloading on you guys like this. This is why i don't talk you know. I haven't spoken to anyone except my siblings/family in 24 hours because i can't explain this to people. I tend to come on here and just offload.... i'm sure my best-friend is mad at me by now, second time in a row, well maybe more times than i can remember, i come here to write and she has to see what i'm going through on here....i apologize love, forgive me.

So Nutty Jay is mad at me for removing comments and i'm sure she is not alone - I really am sorry, as you well know i am very open and i put it all out there, but i couldn't really take another "i'm praying for you" and "God loves you". I promise to never do it again. I promise i am not overly -dramatic cc:Honey Dame, lol. Life has been hard, yesterday was one of those everything that could go wrong, went wrong and it seemed unnecessary and unfair kinda day. But i'm fine and to prove it imma show you...heheheheheh + tell you about my week in NY.

So after the cancelled appointment, i went back to NY to stay at my friends. He wasn't home for the first three days so it was kinda cool, walking around the house naked, plus feeling like i was a New Yorker going out on my own and stuff. So i have noticed that houses in NY/NJ can be very spacious/big but the bathroom is so freaking tiny, i hate that. O that first night i got drunk solo, i will never ever drink again in my life, plus vodka sucks. The next day i met up with my friends Jums and Amy for soul food (i don't like soul food). The next day i saw Fela on Broadway, imma leave my opinions on this out. I think everyone should see it tho, giving the opportunity. O so i'm very comfortable staying at a guys place alone with him as long as i'm not interested in/attracted to him, the only way something is happening is if he rapes me. I like that BB trusts me sha, or at least i hope he does. I heard no complaints and does he have a right to nways as per the nature of our "relationship"?

The next day we went to the Bronx to party, never seen anything like it before. This is not like the NY you see in the movies o, lol, some grimy "Lawd have Mercy". I was protected by my two guy friends sha plus i was envious of all the big booty girls out there. The next day we finally did it NY style, kinda cool. I realized then why i don't go out a lot though, when i like someone its hard for me to grind on another and thats a major part of my dancing, lol, plus i am usually the third wheel, so my two friends danced the night away together and i was just kinda there.

Went back to NJ for schools orientation, i really want to go and i pray i can. My Dean was very cool, said she had heard about the interview i was to have and told me the woman was nuts and she will look out for something for me. Omo, houses in NJ cost twice the 2bedroom place we live in Michigan, lol. Found a place like 20mins far out from school that seems decent though. Moving to NJ will be a commitment for 3yrs though, in the past two years i have lived in 3 different cities. So if some miracle happens i will be leaving Michigan first week of January, you can like to start sending house warming presents guys. Thank you in advance. :))

Speaking of which my fun in Ny was courtesy friends. I did not spend a dime of my own (not like i had, lol). Big shout out to Shade and Roc and TayneMent, you are all life savers. Josh + Jumy + Yomi + Oge as well, can't thank you enough. I also met up with a new friend Kev (so fine) but we will be working together so no go area :(. Met my lil nephew (what is the child of your cousin to you?) so tiny and so cute, he's going to be a fine and great man.

My Boobs grew this past week guys, first i thought it was def PMS but it looks like its here to stay... Let me show you :)... At the school they thought i was a teenager (someone even said 16) until i told them i was 24 and doing a PhD :)).. Only two of us were accepted, also a girl and she's Ghanaian, so kinda cool too.

In other news i need "some" *coughs* its true jo, even though its never happening :(.
My friend Yoms will be here for Christmas, should be fun.
Met an army woman at the airport, felt really sad for her, she should be home for the holidays. I hope she's safe.
Met a Ghanaian guy (met a couple this weekend sha, some fine boys) who went into the Army because after 3years as a graduate, he couldn't find a job. I couldn't blame him at all, i wish that option were open to me too. I also pray he's safe.
I think thats all sha, i can't think of anything else right now... O guys i lost my IPod, who is getting me one for Christmas??? Pretty Please *bats eyelashes* What will i do without music o?
I'm fine, i promise *wet sloppy kisses, Muuuahhhhhhhh*

Pics have been removed :))

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tell God

Someone needs to tell God....I AM NOT JOB
so if he is the one doing this to me or allowing the devil do this to me, then i am done
this things look upward and then goes right down the drain thing is enough
he can like to take my life, cos i'm done, i have no strength
all i ever wanted to do in life is take care of my family and others(even to my detriment) and be happy
so i don't know what i did to make him mad that he has decided to make my life a living hell
i thought the whole point was that i will have a story to tell that will magnify his name
but i'm not even interested anymore, cos we are all here together when people that don't know him are doing abundantly well, no cares in this world
if i were courageous enough i would kill myself, but i''m not
so someone needs to tell him that i'm done and he can do with me what he pleases

please don't call, don't email, don't comment, don't preach, don't pray, don't worry - its all pointless

P.S I Love You .... this is true always

Monday, December 6, 2010

My Testimony

As you all know, i got into UCONN last August for my PhD but i could not go because they said they couldn't waive my tuition or provide a stipend as far as i knew it, this was the norm. So i decided to defer admission, hoping that by January i would have gotten something. In the meantime i kept looking for a job, as i had been out of one since July. Eventually came back to Michigan from Houston, i figured my siblings and i could suffer together, and so we have done and even in the worst days its been fun. I decided then to apply for other schools, and so i did, 3 in total.

Last week, i got one acceptance letter and two rejection letters. I was overjoyed, got into UMDNJ, was going to be living close to NY which i always wanted to do, it is a prominent program, they even gave me an advisor immediately unlike UCONN where i had to find one myself (this is also unusual btw) but they also had no money for me, i was going to have to pay tuition and all that. There and then i started looking for jobs in the area, i found one and the next day i applied for it. The day after that i got an email asking me to schedule an appointment for the position, i had come to Jersey for it cos couldn't do it over the phone, so put it for this week, tomorrow to be exact. Found some money, booked a ticket and my joy knew no bounds.

It was finally all coming together. This job would pay for my school fees and i'll still pay my bills and even that of my siblings back in Michigan. They would file for me, so i would no longer be on student visa but on work visa and that reduces my school fees from international rates to normal rates. I was going to be productive and the research i would do, would serve as the basis for the papers i needed to publish and my final thesis and dissertation.

So i got to the airport today, a lot of merry go round, finally got on a 12noon flight when i got there @ 8.30am and was supposed to have left on a 10am flight. Couldn't afford the ticket straight to NJ, so took the one to NY. Took a bus from the airport, to the subway, the subway to the train station and the train station to NJ. I'm cold, i'm tired (i swear i didn't think my luggage was that heavy), i'm hungry (ain't that a first) and its freezing cold. I look at my phone and i get this message.

Hi Nifi,

Hope your day is going well thus far. Unfortunately, we have to cancel your appointment with Dr.xxxxx tomorrow afternoon.  We are canceling all the appointments for this position. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Thank you,

I cried while i waited in the cold for my friend to come pick me, for like 30mins and then i cleaned my eyes and i said Thank you Jesus. For a roof on my head in this horrible weather, for the clothes i own, for good health and protection for me, my family members, loved ones and friends, and for seeing it fit to keep waking me up every morning. I Thank you Lord. I promised that no matter what happened, i will praise him and thats what i'm going to keep doing. It is well with my soul and the devil will not have the last laugh.

P.s I Love You

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Relationship 101

NOTE: Sorry guys i don't know what i did or what happened, but somehow i lost this post, together with the comments. Thankfully my best-friend had it, so all is well. I am sorry to those who already commented, i would put it back up, since i have them in my email.

Hello guys, how are you doing? Hope you all had a splendid week and wishing you a splendid weekend ahead.

A couple things:
1. I have gone back to reply every comment, i am so sorry for slacking off on that and i promise not to again.
2. I actually forgot that yesterday was Thursday, will make up for Praise Thursday next week, plus that will be Testimony Day, Thankful in advance.
3. So i saw my blog on Linda Ikeji's blog roll the other day and i felt like a star. :))
4. Shout-out to all the new followers, plus you should know i always check out your blogs and i always read, i just might not comment, will try to amend that.
5. Finally, disregard the name of this post, just couldn't come up with something else. This is a very personal post, don't know why i said that in advance, but thought you should know. Let's go

Today, as with many days prior i was asked "So are you and your guy official yet?" My response as usual is NO!!... That's something a lot of you didn't know. BB and I are not official.
The next question is often "how long have you guys been talking now?"..... 10 months
The next question is then "why? There has to be a reason?"..... I don't know, I really don't know.

Prior to meeting BB, i believed that you needed to be official within 6 - 8months, especially when you know that what you have is good and not a joke, of course whether or not the relationship will last is another issue.
Now often people want to know specifics.
Things like does that mean he can talk to somebody else or can I?....Truth is technically he can and so can I. I am not talking to anyone else, whether or not he is, i don't know.
Same with sex. I am not having sex with him or anybody else. Whether or not he is, i don't know.
Another is "so if he sleeps with someone else and you find out, what would you do?" Honestly, i don't know. I used to say as soon as i find out a guy cheats on me, as long as there is no ring on my finger i'm out the door. As you all know, love is not enough for me. The question comes up, that can you consider it cheating? doesn't not being official mean that you don't owe each other anything? ... I say valid points. Like i said i don't know. I will hurt, be disappointed and walking out will definitely be an option and probably the first thing i will try to do.
Another question is "so if you are out and he introduces you as his friend, how would you feel?" I honestly wouldn't feel anyways, and i would introduce him the same way. His family and friends know about me as my friends and family know about him. BB and I joke that we are going to go from straight to where we are to being engaged.

Why am i saying all this? Before this relationship, everything was clear cut for me, so i can't fault anyone for feeling like i am doing myself a great disservice by going about this way. People are worried about me and are afraid i'm going to find myself hurt. That's fair and i understand and yet i wouldn't have it any other way. I love this man and i give him a 100% even on days when i complain and want to be out of it and what we have been through, because as you can probably guess, we have been through things seems unbearable. There are some secrets that just have to stay between a "couple" and if we end up not being together i probably will cry and then i will move on. I do want to be official at some point, you are right to say its time, but for us things need to settle down a lil bit, individually and as a unit, but for me it has to be natural and cannot be forced.

Looking at it from the outside you might say that we are both afraid to commit or as my guy friends say "he has found an option to eat his cake and have it, that is keep you for marriage while he sleeps around, so when he does something and you find out, he pulls the friendship card" - That was word for word, a comment by a friend btw. All valid points, and i have often said that i am afraid to commit, growing up i never saw myself married, i thought i was going to be a highly successful woman, who was single and adopted plenty kids and the thought still lingers.

So my point in all this, life is not simple, life is complicated with plenty shades of grey and black and white and yellow. But you do yourself a great injustice not living it to the fullest. Learn to bend the rules. Adjust it to fit your needs, embrace change without losing your principles. If i thought my principles were compromised, i would not continue this and if i ever feel it is i would walk away, no questions asked. People are only looking from the inside in and though they think they know the best for you and might even have gone through the same experience, sometimes you have to go with your own gut and instinct. You know where it hurts the most, you know if the good outweighs the bad, you alone know.

Don't be fooled to think that you need a man to be happy at any age, don't let past relationships ruin your life, don't rush for the wedding day and the white dress and cake, cos marriage is a heck more than that. Understand that every relationship is very different, perspectives are varying, what works for the goose certainly does not work for the gander. I come from a broken home and as stable as my siblings and I are, its the worst thing that happens to a child, don't be deceived. Still i think it would even be worse to be in a home, where everything is wrong, the man cheats, beats his wife or vice-versa cos some women are doing it, all in the name of staying together."When people(read: HE/SHE) show(s) you their TRUE colors don't try to paint a different picture."Pray for the right choice, the right man, the one for you. Know that it takes a lot of work. Aim to be best person you can be, the right choice for him, the right woman for him.

Nways, i suddenly felt the need to share this with you, i don't know why. Forgive the preachiness of it all, this is how it formulates in my brain and the only way i can relate it. Thank you for reading at all, i appreciate it.
Have a splendid day and God Bless.
P.s I've still not told him I Love him, upon all my talk. I shall wait for wedding day, if it happens. Don't judge me :)... This is my one kryptonite

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Music and I

It's 3:30 am in the morning as I type this and I'm yet to get a wink of sleep but that's normal at this rate. Been listening to music nonstop since about 12:30 and I'm amazed at how much I love music.

It is fair to say I love music more than any human being.
It is fair to say that If you left me alone in the world as long as I had music and my feet to dance, I will be alright
I'm still trying to reconcile my love for music with my relationship with God. Is he ok with it? Is he not? Something about you can worship no other god before me and he is a jealous God. Not like I worship music, but if you ask me to describe myself in one word, I would say music.

Music is the essence of me. It conveys words I cannot speak, describing emotions I don't understand of myself and don't know I feel, drives and fuels my passion. On nights like this, music makes love to me from the tip of my toes to my very brain, I feel it down there too. Like a lovers touch, so loving, so caring, sensitive to my need and desires, taking it's sweet time, causing the butterfly feelings in my tummy and making me shiver like I just had the windows open and a blast of cold air came rushing in.

Music is my opium/my ectasy my addiction. My true love, always giving requiring nothing from me but my ears. Perfect Bliss!!!!!

NP- Joe - We need to roll

P.s I Love You

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A New Month

As December approaches, my expectations are higher, my dreams are bigger, my hope is risen again and i'm excited and i'm SCARED. But today i read in "Open Heavens"

....Another indicator of the arrival of your time of divine favor is that God overlooks your shortcomings. Doubt, fear and unbelief - three major terminators of destiny will suddenly be set aside when your time to receive God’s favor has come. 

I hope this is true because God Knows i gave up, and i have doubted and like i said right now i'm scared. I laughed like Sarah did when i got good news, laughing that God won't complete that which he started. I don't know whats worse you know, not having any hope or having your hopes raised and then crushed. So i pray that the above is true and this is my time and that in 9days from now i will come back here to share my testimony.


I Love sports.... i mean its a madness as my friend Ayo would say, and i have the crazy feeling that if i were a guy i wouldn't like me, well on Saturdays, Sundays, Thursdays and, all of this madness will inevitably stop i reckon. I thought the other day that i'm not ready to marry cos i don't want any man to cook for him or a child to change diapers for on Saturday when all i want to do is watch sports all day and not shower or anything.

I love my friends really. I especially love the friends who i don't have to talk to everyday who just get me. Big shoutout to Maestro, he doesn't read this nways but he will never understand how much his love and friendship for me gives me joy.

I find that i always have to explain myself, my thoughts, motives and words to people. It gives me a headache,  i wish people would just learn to accept me for who i am. You see why i don't have friends. Friendship is more than just understanding you know, its more about acceptance.

I hate thank you's, omgosh it grates on my nerves. What other word can one use to show appreciation? I feel it lacks in sincerity, unfortunately i still have to use it.

Social media is allowing people to not have sense. The things that should be kept private are blasted on twitter and facebook, showing a side of you or giving people info they should not necessarily see/have.

I delete my original tweets. Don't ask me why. Plus they have to be at an even number. I hate odd numbers. I will never in my power do anything significant on an odd numbered day.

Haven't continued my stories. Funny because i have about 4 posts, written for weplug and angonemi and glamtings this week but i can't find my stories in my head to write.

Whats the big deal about kneeling down for your husband? How will this reduce your self worth or value or make you any less of a woman? I think women forget the powers they possess sha. Nigerians are funny, the things that you shouldn't fight about is what you will fight about. Meanwhile you will allow him cheat as long as he is taking care of you and the kids. Or are you going to divorce him immediately he does something bad?

I saw this picture of a woman in her beautiful wedding dress, her mode of transportation? Keke Maruwa, you know that three legged thing in Nigeria? And i don't know what to say to that, cos that dress looked mighty expensive too and i'm just thinking why can't you rent a car for the day? This thing for a big wedding day in Nigeria is just mad. I want a honeymoon, for like a month in an exotic location, can i use the money for that and not a large ceremony?

Excerpt from something i wrote out of boredom:

What I do not like, are girls like me that is “best friends” insulting “wifey”. You see them say things like “why so insecure? “Or “please stop hating on your man's female friends just because they are pretty”. I almost instantly want to say to that last sentence “if you are so pretty, why ain’t he dating you?” But that’s just me being mean. I do not profess to have a solution to this phenomenon, I reckon as long as there are humans on earth these things will occur, I’m just sharing my own perspective.
I think and this is my own personal opinion, I think the issue is people forgetting to play their positions. Let me explain.
It’s wifey forgetting that her man had friends before she came into the picture and she will never be the only female in his life or the most important person in his life really, though she might like to think so.
Its female best friend forgetting that yes though he tells you everything, even things that he wouldn’t tell wifey you are still just friends.
 It’s mother in law not wanting to let go of her son, who she still sees as a child.
Its male best friend not realizing that his friend can’t spend 24hours with him like he could and can’t be his wing man taking home or talking to the friend of the girl he wants to be with.
Maybe i will put up the full post later, its kinda long.

Anyways, just thought to check in guys. I hope all is well with you, i miss you and i'm grateful for you all in my life. Have a great week ahead guys. Shoutout to the new followers, danka. Muaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh


Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Other side of me

This past week, i became a completely changed woman.....
Everything's changed, my whole perspective is changed...
I wish i could say i was surprised but i'm not....
I'm adjusting well as i do all things, rationalized it all as i do everything....
I know i'm better for this insight and for this change...
I'm amazed at my own strength though that much i can tell you....
When i'm absolutely sure i'm about to be ripped apart one way or the other...
I find some kind of inner calm, i become instantly cold and i make my decision and i move on....
Its shocked those around me lately, the heartless part of me appeared....
I'm not sure everybody is comfortable with it, they will deal i expect.....

Speaking of sides, i promise to have a new side of me when school starts
Praying that i'm accepted and this time everything works out
The side that has actual friendships that ain't virtual or long distance
Maybe not party cos well partying isn't my thing
But days like tonight when i desperately want to go out i need actual buddies
So i'm going to change, and garner all the friends i should have in the past 6 yrs
I wish i could say that it will happen asap, but really where do u meet people?
Can't keep holding on to past friendships and new friends are all far.
I wonder if i have always subconsciously picked meaningful friends cos they are far away.

End of the year and i wonder if anything has gone according to plan
Its really true when they say "Man Proposes and God disposes"
Can't even remember what my resolutions were, but i'm sure i would if they worked out
So the question is what is the plan? really what is the plan for my life? cos i'm lost

Started writing, there are three different stories and i'm working on them all simultaneously
So i'll be away from here for a bit. I will miss you.
Gonna spend the next two weeks while i'm anxiously waiting for acceptance letters to focus
So whatever comes first, either my finishing any of the book or hopefully my good news
I will come and share with you. So wish me luck and put me in your prayers
Good luck to everybody and please take care of yourselves.
Loads of love and kisses


Monday, November 8, 2010


Hello Ladies and Gents, whatitdooooooooooo? Hope you all had a great weekend? If you live in the states, how many of you partied the extra hour away?

I'm really not sure if my not going clubbing is a new sort of spiritual commitment (my pastor's wife said she never went clubbing) or i just have not being totally inspired to go out. I reckon i will as soon as i can get primped like i want to. I can't remember when last i've been out, its at least 3months.

Nways i'm watching StepMom and i realize that they have got it extremely hard. Now i will tell you off the bat i can't stand mine, she is a conniving, ok shutting up now. But really is there ever any good story of one? i heaven't heard of it. And can i just add, that except the mother is dead, there is no reason a single woman is looking for anything in a man with kids, in my case 4 kids, house. Why do they have to be so mean, like shouldn't your sole responsibility be that you love the children first? But nways as you can tell i'm highly prejudiced on this issue. What say you?

"For two people to really love each other, to really commit to each other, it has to be an act of will, a decision. And i think two people have to live that decision everyday, even when things are hard and they feel like giving up. You have to hang on to that decision, that choice to love each other, even if its only by a thread." ~ Luke Harrison (Step-mom)...Best marriage proposal i have ever heard, infact i am ok with my man using this exact same words on me. 

"Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability" ~ John Wooden.... Maybe this explains why i feel the way i do

Current state of mind: Detached and Withdrawn.... sorry in advance to my friends.

I hope the tears i cried today will be the last of it and i hope my renewed faith is permanent.

Yesterday it occurred to me "Where is this going"? Very potent question, no simple/easy answers.

Decided to start walking up and down the stairs daily as my exercise. Remember when i was a fiend for exercising?

Did you know: Mr Sheffield in the show The Nanny is a Baron? How cool? Things i learn from my brother.

I hate reality shows vehemently. 

I'm jealous of funny people like BB and my brother. The other day my brother and i were watching something and i can't remember what it was but he said "need a moment, chew it over with twix" i died of laughter, like seriously died. Now if you have never seen the advert you might not get but the ability to use that line appropriately in a setting is something i will describe as genius. Laughter is the quickest way to my soul. I'm so not funny.

I hate when people try to tell you, you don't have problems and that there are bigger problems in the world. Really!!!!! like i didn't know that? Two, that shit don't change the fact that right now i feel like i'm going through hell.

I don't know how people find things on the internet. Like seriously i come on here for specific things, but people just browsing i don't get it. As in BB finds everything on the internet and the man barely gets enough sleep. If its not on yahoo or CNN's Page, i sure as heck don't know about it.

I love that i can completely be off twitter and not itch. I didn't think i could. But same way i left facebook, i find that i don't need social networks. Now knowing that i don't have real life friends, and most of my friends are virtual this is kinda troubling (well for BB) nways. But do i really need to share my every thought (i talk about my boobs all the time on there) and lyrics? I'll keep it for a while tho, its a great source of news, for me sha.

I'm very mean, i just don't show it. I like it when people think they are smarter than you and try to play silly games. I'm very good at it, i just don't believe in it. O p.s. u messed with the wrong girl. Hehehehehehehe

Comedy - Courtesy BB

Some songs i think can be about God or a significant other.....
not exactly of course, what say you?

Have a great week ahead

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Praise Thursday

Hi guys, how you doing? Hope all is well with you? Finally ate for the first time in days, think i'm getting better Thank God.

Speaking of Thank God, Today i"m thankful for Esther, i cannot repay you and i pray God repays you a thousand times over. I'm thankful for Miss Pearl, i also cannot repay you, may God fill your life in bountiful immeasurable ways now and forevermore. I'm thankful for friends that i made and i kept, who are so ever reliable (Oye and Angonemi) God bless you. I'm thankful for new seasons, so happy for you Ayo, nothing will cut short your joy in Jesus Name. Thankful for my siblings, really glad that i'm not here alone, they are clowns and they keep me going. Thankful for BB, because trust me you guys see the good part, and he gets the mess that i am. Thankful for you all, it goes without saying that you are all a part of my life in one way or the other and i wouldn't have it any other way( i promise to reply to the comments on the last two posts). I'm thankful that i am alive and even tho i may not always be happy, i am filled with joy (two different things i promise you).

So BB told me to watch this and i thought to share, its too funny.

Mighty to save - Hillsong

Don Moen - Our Father... Meditate on this song, it says a lot

That's all i got. I'm going back to bed, its all i can seem to do :-)


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Not so perfect man

I told you i'll be back but didn't think it will be so soon. I appreciate you guys for not getting tired of me yet :)

So yesterday i'm watching Frasier and Daphne asked Niles "How will i ever be sure that there won't be another somebody?,after all you had two wives all the while saying you always loved me" (largely paraphrased by the way). So i say out loud "You can never be sure that there won't be another somebody you just have to be the best at all times and hope for the best"... My point you are never sure, i don't even know if u can let yourself believe that you are special enough (don't crucify me o, i'm just saying) but you hope and you give it all you have at every point, except you know there is no future in said relationship, but if you do i believe in giving a 100% effort. There are just no guarantees in life, i think the only reassurance is in knowing that you have loved as you will like to be loved.

Watching "Something New" and is it really a preference not a prejudice to date only people of your color? I think prejudice is the underlying reason not to date from another color/race/ethnicity whatever you say, and the burden of proof that love is the same lies with the opposing color/race/ ethnicity. Did i just make sense there, i tend not to make sense so forgive me.

Nways i came here to share a post by my best-friend called "My not so perfect man" edited by yours truly :)

I want my man. No I don't have a man. But I want MY man. 
He must have a degree. 
He must have a job, or have good potential to get a job. 
He must believe in God. Not necessarily a church goer. 
He must have a good family.
Physically, no exact requirements except, he must be taller than me. I'm 5'6" w/o heels. 
I want passionate sex.
He has to let me be me. I don't want him to change me.
I don't want him to call my life boring because I LOVE staying home and just, chillin'. 
I want that man that doesn't care for how scandalous I can dress sometimes and just let’s me be me. 
I want that man that can tell me to be quiet and I know not to dare say anything back. (If you know me, then you'll know this is almost impossible).
I want that man that can live his life independent of me but cannot do without me. 
I want that man that I can talk to about nothing and everything. 
I want that man that I can apologize to without thinking twice about it. 
I want that man that can rock my world. 
I want that man that'll make me want to move the world for him. 
I want that man that knows he's flawed and does not apologize for it. He just lives. 
I want that man that will love my mother like his own, or close enough. 
I want that man that will make me laugh!
I want that man that I can be random with.
I want that man that I'll feel secure with. 
I want that man that I can share all my insecurities with and not feel judged.
I want that man that I will love with his flaws and all. 
I want that man that will love me in spite of my flaws. 
He's not perfect, you just think he is. 
I want that man that will let me be me.
I want MY man.
My not-so-perfect man.

So what do you think? Is she asking for too much? Is it unreasonable to  have a list. I want to hear what you think? 

To Oye: All your heart desires and more, the Lord will grant unto you,and when you least expect it you will find a man that sweeps you off your feet, who will love you for all you are & all you are not. Love you mama.

P.s. I'm sick :-(. I want my baby and i want to be kissed dammit. Is Long distance a good enough reason to break up?


Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday Nights

Hi guys, i hope your weekend went well. I had some kids knock on my door and i felt bad because i did not have candy ;-(. In all my years of living alone (read: apartments) i've never had kids come trick or treat tho, i thought they only went to houses. I will be ready for next year, God willing i'm alive till then.

So not really in the mood for music, plus my mind is just going all kinds of haywire, so lets random shall we.

So as per my intro, why do we make plans and worry about the future? when we could easily not be alive tomorrow. Is it really just the assurance in God that we will live long? and if you don't believe in God, why do you?

My pastor is a joker. So he goes how our praise and worship is our intimate time with God, like foreplay before the real deal. He goes let me school you on the slow cooker deal. You give your wife a kiss in the morning and send her like 5 texts during the day just saying hi so by the time you come home, she is all willing. Like when you put meat in the slow cooker all day and when you come home, the meat is falling off the bones. Lol, i was cringing in church. You gotta love African American Pastors.

Speaking of cringing, obvious lies make me physically cringe. You can always tell i'm lying cos ill straight up cringe. But if you ask my best friend and prolly Miss Taynement the trait i hate the most, they will tell you its INSECURITY. I cannot stand, cannot tolerate it, it makes me mad, as in shaking mad. Sigh. I think you thinking a tweet is a subliminal at you or anybody else btw is a form of insecurity. Was so bad i said it to BB
without being cautious, knowing that he has actually thought i subliminaled him one too many times. Still pissed

If you are a friend to someone i love, you are given automatic Carte -Blanche. I automatically love you until proven otherwise. I may not be friendly with you, but i might vouch for you on account of the person i love. Am i wrong in believing this is the way it should be?

I just don't get why females are fighting this whole double standard thing when it comes to sexuality. I get the part where women fought and thats why we can vote now, but is it really the same thing? The argument that a woman with two d***s in her mouth at the same time is not a ho, is pretty lame don't you think? I'm all for ladies who are liberated and all that, but can i just say do that shit in private, if not don't cry bullocks otherwise.

I think he is mad at me. Shrugs. I pray my feeling inadequate won't have me sabotage this. My friend Yoms, says its a male trait to feel inadequate in a relationship. I've been telling you all i was meant to be a man.

Its easy to agree to something when you are not in said position, our opinions all change ever slightly if we had to walk a mile in said shoes. This is true of almost everything in this life i believe. Something i gleamed while watching another one of my many TV shows. I watch a lot of them.

I'm jealous of successful young people, especially if they are younger than me. I start to think of how i've been wasting my life.

It is highly possible that the reason i'm going through all this is because God wants me to stop being a control, independent, overly ambitious freak. God help me because that seems highly impossible. Lol.

My best friend said my posts have been sad, i really do apologize for that. I'm not necessarily always sad when i post things up, i just say it as it is, but please let me know, if i'm rather too despondent, i need to stop.

I have never approached a guy. Never. :-) it bad that i don't see how a girl does it too? Like i don't know what a guy will have just by looking at him, that will make me say hi. Or like in the movies when you see the dashingly handsome guy and then your friend whispers to you that he is rich too and he is endowed so you go talk to him. Lol, nways if you have approached a guy, ladies, tell me about it.

Cos i can't say this out loud, permit me to say it on here that i'm crazy in love. This is bad real bad Micheal Jackson. :-)

Babes got skinny :-) No ass, no boobs, but its all good in the hood.

T.I ft Chris Brown "Get back up" has now replaced Deuces as my best song of the year.

I might have my bb in my boobs on my wedding day. lol. i'm just saying

I watched Invictus today and i cried. The most inspiring movies to me seem to be sport movies (The Blind side). There is just something about the spirit of team work, dedication, focus and commitment in sports and how it inspires communities and nations. God willing i do hope to promote sports in Nigeria and hope we can regain great standards like we did for the African cup of nations 1994.

I want to do everything sha, write, music, movies, sports, health, entertainment, politics. Itk toooohhhh baaaadddd. Lol

Ok i'm done for now, might be back before Thursday cos trust me when i say my brain is running a mile a dozen, but somehow i can't seem to write a serious post. I have 2 politics post, 2 music post and the book on my mind but nada. O well. I told you all my problem in life is discipline, if i cant discipline myself to do what i love, then how am i ever going to succeed?

Ok just heard this on tv, so decided to share

P.S I Love You :)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Things left unsaid: Part 1

Yes, i want to go out...
I want to go for drinks with my oyinbo friends even if i don't drink
I wouldn't even mind hanging out with the people i know that i don't consider friends
I want to go to basketball games & hockey games & if i can afford it soccer games all the way in England
I want to go to concerts of my favorite artists, not only in my city but in other cities
I want to go to the theaters and watch Lion King and Fela
I want to go to Vegas
I want to go the beach in a city with beaches
I want to try different locale foods
I want to learn salsa and tap dancing
I want to go to museums and learn how to paint
I want to go deep sea diving and para sailing
I want to go bungee jumping
I want to go watch a movie
I want to go skating
I want to go bowling
I want to go explore hidden areas in different cities
I want to go on a private flight
I want to go Disney world, cos i haven't been
I could go on and on

I want to do so many things but i can't
I don't want to sit down alone every weekend for week on ends.
I learnt early to make sacrifices tho and to not cry over spilt milk

Nways BB said he was was worried that i don't do ANYTHING.
And i played it off as i always do.
I don't tell him a lot of things, i don't like people worrying about me.
Or maybe i'm ashamed, i don't know.
I figure ill share on here things i can't say out loud.
Thank God i can come here to just write. It helps.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Praise Thursday

Hi Guys, how are you all doing? I hope your week went great. Again,Thank you so very much for the birthday prayers and wishes, God Bless you all tremendously, his face will continue to shine upon you. Thank you :)

On that day, one of my closest friends called and he said "you might not know this but you are favored and i pray that the Lords favor never depart from you". I had tears in my eyes, because i forgot, i can't lie, i did. I think its fair to say that you can't blame me, but its still not an excuse and the fact that people can still see this on me, especially from afar cos said friend now lives in Nigeria. This was just a reminder that God hasn't forgotten me yet.

Well yesterday my mum calls and the conversation came back to this whole situation and by the time we said goodbyes rather than be lifted up, you could tell on both ends that we were sad. I then check my blogs and Bagucci aka @dhjax put up Josh Wilson's "Before the Morning" and the song gave me back all the reassurance i needed. Imma let these two songs speak to you, i pray for those out there waiting for their seasons to change, that the Lord will uphold you and strengthen you and your season will change for the better.

Josh Wilson - Before the Morning

Kutless - What faith can do


Monday, October 25, 2010

Of Memorable Days

Hello my lovelies, how are you doing? How was your weekend, i hope good. Mine was chilled as per usual, it was just me and the sis at home and she refused to sleep on the bed alone and i don't like beds, so she slept on the couch with me Thurs - Sun, lets just say i need a massage.

Miss Taynement and I often accuse people of not reading entries and just scanning through. U ARE ALL GUILTY, lol. Well apart from Miss Shade and Miss Natural. My birthday is tomorrow, well a couple hours Naija time, it also happens to be the same as Miss Myne, so don't forget to show her some love. Thank you guys tho, for the prayers and love, i don't take it for granted. :-)

I had my very first virtual date with BB yesterday, i will never forget yday no matter what life throws at me, its prolly going to be my happy place. Can i just say, Thank God for skype again. Its the little things guys, well at least for me sha. I'm a gestures kind of girl, nothing you buy me is ever going to mean more than what you say and what you do. Cherish the time spent together with your family, friends, loved ones, even if its virtual. Stories of death all over this weekend reminded us of how important this is. For shared passions, for mutual understanding and for lasting memories, i'm grateful.

So as to my question post, i won't lie i was surprised at the responses, dare i say you are all a bunch of romantics, lol. If you haven't read "roc naija's" comment,you should, i swooned a lil myself ;-). "A teen" was the only one who got where i was coming from. I did not mean a significant other necessarily, what i described for example was me and my best friend and i guess it was my fault cos i kept saying "and then", i didn't mean it was a process, like u had to have one after the other. My point was just that feelings aside, these things in a human being, bring about Love. But i did hear you though, can i just say that i have to see an actual example for me to totally believe. Shout out to "Sugarking" for his comment, lol, too funny. O plus i reckon that all i have to do to get everybody to comment is do shorter posts, i got the memo. lol

#random i don't think i could ever use a sex toy. Please don't judge me.

Celibacy is hard sha, can i really hold out till marriage? I reckon this is an excuse to marry early, if i have to wait 2 -3yrs, i don't know o. God is in control, lol.

My bf went to the strip club for her bday, i missed out. Knowing me i probably won't have gone lol, but i don't mind a private show sha. Ideas tohhhhh baaaaddddd.

I want a professionally done nude picture, taken in France or Italy or somewhere exotic like that, before i have babies and get fat :-)

I swear i had more to say, but ehmm i can't rbr. Lol. Let's do the music shall we
Kanye with 35mins video tho...ilove the dude but no can do
Introducing Nigerian artist Joy Ike...

Peter Gabriel - In your eyes

Backstreet boys - Incomplete

Sade Adu - King of Sorrow

Olo mi - Tosin Martins

I know that list just didn't make sense, lol... lets just say these songs will forever make me smile
The next time you hear from me i shall  be 24 ;-)

P.S I Love You

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Praise Thursday - 24 things

Helloooooooooo...... 3 posts in one week, this is good, i thinking i'm getting better :) ... Hi Guys, how are you doing? (Nobody answers this question tho), i hope well, and i'm sure looking forward to the weekend.

Last week when i was at my most depressed stage, my extraordinary young-un, Kayode, came on bbm to encourage me. I was complaining about how i want this birthday to just pass, and that it was not worth celebrating and bla bla he decided we should compile a list, 24 reasons why i should be happy i am about to be 24... we did not end up finishing the list cos he lives in Jand and had to go bed, lol, but i continued the list.

Surprisingly enough, it was relatively easy to come up with 24 things, infact i had more and tho i'm still not excited about this birthday and can't wait for it to be over, i know that everyday of my life is worth celebrating, so on Tuesday when i go on my knees thanking God for another year in my life, i know it will be with all the sincerity i possess.

Shoutout to Miss Natural, for my first birthday message, heheheh... Love you... Plus i want to encourage everyone to do this, kind of like a meme, whatever your age is, write down all the things that comprise your awesomeness, what you are thankful for, anything you would like to share i guess, it should be fun. Let's Go...

 1. Family - I am just really grateful for my family, even tho the dynamic is not ideal, there is love amongst us...especially grateful for my siblings, i'm uberproud.. For extended family as well
 2. Friends - I couldn't say this enough i have the greatest friends, people that would literally kill for me, who pray for me, encourage me and accept me for who i am... God will never forget you all, and will continue to Bless you, its just guaranteed
 3. Being alive - What more can i say, like Miss TM said its better to be alive, than dead
 4. Good health - Good health is paramount to having a good life, for this i am very grateful
 5. BB - This man may not be the one God has destined for me, though i pray that is not the case, but at this time in my life, for sticking around and being there and caring, i can't thank God enough. "I pray for you, more than i pray for myself"
 6. Music - Music is my opium and i don't know if this is blasphemous to say, my air...
 7. Writing - My escape and because a lot of times i can't say what i want to but instead write, i'm grateful
 8. Technology - You wouldn't expect this on the list, but if u r in a LDR or have family far and wide, and because i can communicate with you via here, since i am antisocial. I'm grateful for Blackberry, skype, phones, Tv and the internet
 9. Degrees - Upon all my shouts, i have two degrees yo and going for a 3rd, grateful for that opportunity. I can't even rbr how we paid for it all. Thats why God is good.
10. Lessons learnt - Mistakes made, through trials and tribulations, learnt a lot, its made me a better person. Though i would rather have not had him as an ex sha (cringe-worthy) lol.
11. Strangers kindness - I've been lucky with this, i can't even explain it, for random acts of kindness i'm grateful
12. Every teacher/professor/ Every man/ woman of God - Instruments in my life
13. For my numerous projects - Weplug, Conversationsabouther, Angonemi, Allure, DUI, Management, The Bridge - i'm immensely grateful14. Love of God - What can i say, where will i be without it
15. Knowing how to cook - lol this is essential, cos i think we would have starved by now, ability to make something with lil or nothing is something men
16. Clothes & shoes I own - because i understand that some people don't own as much as i do
17. A roof over my head -i'm not living in a shelter or half way home
18. One car - in a city where the public transportation system sucks, i cant complain that the other car is not working, one is better than none
19. Bills paid so far20. Strength
21. Protection
22. Favor
23. Grace  & mercy
24. For a future HE himself designed for me.

For this and many more, I am grateful. 


Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Hellooooo guys... How are you doing? Hope your week has been going fine so far. I have a quick question cos a friend and i are talking and something just came up and we have opposing views so i want to hear what you think.

A lil background first... this is because i can never just write a short brain just doesn't work like that, lol.... You all know me pretty well except you are new to my blog (Shout-out to my new followers tho, i appreciate you and please if u would comment i can get a direct link to your blogs/site, the follower thing doesn't always allow me do that. Thanks)... 

Anywhoo, i was saying you know me well enough to know that i don't think Love is enough. In-fact i dont think love is the beginning. I think it starts with like, then you find that you can trust said person, then you find that you respect said person, then you find that this persons opinion matters to you, said person is accountable, honest and communicative, has the same dreams as you or is at least supportive of yours, is great with your family and friends, and in some cases said person is good in bed, lol. Only then after putting all of this together can you honestly and truly say you are in Love. Do you agree? Its ok if you disagree, but i want to know why?

The main question tho is this. Can you say you have all those things that is trust, understanding, honesty, respect, good communication, good sex and still not be in Love with the person? Is it possible? 

Personally, i do not think it is, i can't even expatiate on that, i just think its highly impossible. I want to know what you think. Thanks

P.S I Love you

Monday, October 18, 2010

#MM - Young love

I can't seem to come up with suitable titles, so please bear with me.....HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Hi guys, how are you doing? Have i told you how much i love you all, i can't even reply comments on the last two posts cos i want to cry all the time. Thank you for accepting me as i am, for seeing me as i am and for being there...

In other news, social networks cause a lot of paranoia. I know this because everybody thinks every tweet is about them on my TL, subliminal this, subliminal that e.g. BB thinking my tweets were at him yesterday and going "i actually went to my TL to see what i wrote" lol. His has a lil bit of guilty conscience added to it but it was the funniest thing ever. I have never thot a tweet was to me, even if its BB, well at least until yday when Miss Taynement subliminal-ed me for ruining Mad Men, lol. But i realize i'm very slow, i always say this, everything is literal to me.

I tend to take general points from a conversation and i often will elaborate on it, in public when i may not have said much when we talked. Let me give you an example, say me and you were talking about cheating, and you had said something like "as long as you love the person, cheating can be overlooked". I may not expatiate on that with you, but then come on my blog to give a whole sermon on it or talk about it on twitter. Or i see you tweet something or mention something on your blog, and not comment on it but come talk about it via either medium. I need to tell you now, that i don't do this to hurt or insult anyone, or subliminal anyone...said topic has just become a topic of interest to me and i chose to address said issue in a medium that is comfortable for me, cos sometimes i don't feel like talking and i especially hate to argue.... Does any of this make sense? My point, please don't take anything you see on here, on twitter personally especially if you think its about you.It might be from something you said, wrote or did or something we discussed but its never directed to you.

People always berate me for not hanging out, not having friends bla bla bla.... its ok, i'm ok with it. Because people are so fake, i'm sorry icant. And then with backstabbing and gossiping. Yes, to an extent maybe we all gossip so i should stop acting holier than thou but backstabbing really, sharing your friends most kept secret to  a random person, icant understand it. I'm telling you men, you all should be like me and live your life as an open book, so nobody will come and think they have something on you. Just heard something that broke my heart for a friend, and i'm glad i don't have besties, bestos, bf, bff, close friends, special friends, friends for clubbing & shopping, as innnnn i'm sorry thats too much for me, BB says its not for everybody, lol.

That's all i got for today, not much going on mentally or otherwise...thinking about actually starting a book.. it will be based on my life but as fictitious as ever, you know all those dreams i have not attained will be attained, all the bad things i would never do, i will do, things like that, ideas or suggestions are much appreciated. Also for the fashion piece in Vanguard pls send all material to

Music shall we?

Loved B2k - they had awesome songs if you ask me... Omarion sang all the songs sha, lol... some of my favs

Team Bowwow still - He just has that flow, like diggy simmons has now

Where is Jojo? - This girl has got a voice on her, where is she?

Thats it... P.S I LOVE YOU

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Of all things

Prayer: So i seen someone asking why Nigerians always say Prayer is the solution and i just laugh... You must not ever have been at your wits end. Because only then will your first ever solution to everything, even the dumbest thing, be going down on your knees and Praying. I've said this before, first off you did not broach a solution to said problem, so why even knock anybody's advise. 2. In America for example, you could always use the law to solve a problem albeit temporarily and sometimes even that might fail you. In Nigeria, this is not an option. 3. Prayer is more than just you waiting on God for rescue, but because it brings with it the peace & clarity one needs to see the solution thats right in front of one's eyes.

Opinion: Had to come next, cos what i did above is berate someone's opinion. No one died and made me king of anything, but i strongly believe that not all opinions are to be voiced. Take a minute to reflect, put yourself in someone's else's shoe's. Think(its hard) but try imagine what you would do, what brought said person to that point. I can say this comfortably because trust me when i say i am the most judgmental person you will ever meet, but even i know better than to think that i have the solution to everything or i could do it better or i know better.

Down and Out: I realize that i understand why one will take his/her life. I never really understood it before cos i had never had any reason to want to kill myself. Most will say i don't have any now, you might be right, but you are also wrong. Let me tell you a lil about being down and out.
Down & out is the inability to see beyond the now, you are so engrossed in your current state, the future seems embedded with more problems. No victory in sight, every step you take to make your future better, comes with it its own added set of problems e.g.
Down & out is when you think that even if i got a job right now, i may not be able to take it because there is only one car and how will your siblings go to school.
Down & out is you doing laundry wondering when you will be able to buy soap to do laundry again.
Down & out is when somehow you manage to pay this bill and instead of relief to come with that you think of the fact that you can't pay the next thousand bills.
No i won't be taking my own life or anything like that, i put my feet in someone else's shoes and it wasn't a pretty sight and i pray for the lost and troubles souls out there, may you find PEACE.

Dancing: I danced the whole day yesterday, a far cry from how i wept the day before. I danced at the laundromat, i danced at home. No epiphanies, no solutions to my problem, it wasn't even because i prayed, but somehow i think God was happy with that.

Hatred: I hate my parents for making me go through this. What were/are they thinking? Why do they think i'm strong enough to handle this? I hate myself for not being strong enough, i am a Leader, always been, right now failure is all i seem. I hate that i am not a boy, because in my mind somehow this would have been easier, because i would have been born with a hustler spirit and done some yahoo yahoo to solve my problems. I hate that i'm a "good" girl, with not enough courage to say i want to be a stripper or a prostitute or have a sugar daddy who will pay my bills? I hate that i didn't think of marrying to get papers, cos that would have made my life easier. I hate myself for not having any obvious talent, well one that pays immediately. I hate that luck did not decide to overflow on me, like it seems to do for others. I hate that i cant bear to think of myself doing anything illegal because i think, more like i know that i'm going to get caught, when others live this way for years.

Money: If you still think my problem is my negative bank account, then i'm not sure how else to explain. Its not the money, it sure will be good and will solve the obvious problems, but its more the responsibility of it all, the fact it seems like this is all on my head and it lasts for more years than i care to imagine. Its the feeling like i carry the weight of the world and i would never be free from it all.

LDR's: It's hard not to think of all the bad things he could be doing. Its hard not to think you guys had something together cos well i see the tweets and the messages and you are closer and i'm far away. Its hard not to worry. But its a greater feeling knowing someone has your back and you trust someone completely and they care for you even more than you do yourself or they. There will always be insecurities and fears, except the person is not worth it, you just have to not let them ruin a good thing and sometimes there might be cause to voice it out, never be afraid to do so. Don't push things under the rug, cos you are afraid that he might think you insecure, only God's love covers a multitude of sins. But what do i know, i'm single. Lol

Thank you for your love, support, prayers. You have been awesome instruments in my life, i can't tell you all that enough. Have a good weekend and i'm good really, i promise you, just sharing my thoughts.

Monday, October 4, 2010

#Music Monday - Good Music

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen…. How are you? How was your weekend? I hope great.

I saw The Town this weekend and I’m so happy for Ben Affleck really, no one can call him names now. I came out of the theatres and my boobs were icicles. Michigan is FREEZING...Jeez!!! I decided then and there I wasn’t going to church the next day. Let me tell you this is a very legitimate excuse only if u live in Alaska, MI, Chicago, Canada and some parts of NY, anywhere else is a lie jo.  Nways I went to church, I was reminded that I went out in the cold to watch a movie so I must go, if I did not go to the movies sha, I would not have gone.

Saw The Blind Side yesterday, which was an excellent movie btw. The first game Michael Oher played the one guy from the other team kept heckling him, talking to him, insulting him and dude was so calm. God knows you could not talk to me like that; I will beat you upside your head. Nways at some point the ref does not call a foul on this same boy when he kicks Michael on the head right in front of him, Michael’s coach goes berserk and then the ref pulls out a flag so the scrawny looking guy is about to have a fit. Michael holds him back and tells him “Don’t worry coach I got your back” and on the very next play he grabs the guy all the way across the field and dumps him on the outside. His coach asked him “where were you taking him to?” and Michael goes “To the Bus coach, it was time for him to go home”. 

Why the entire story? Well truth is some of you know that some things, some people in your lives GOT TO GO… some things/people have to be on the first speedy train out of your lives. There is no reason you are still messing with that foolery, no reason at all. Usually at this point I will say something like I don’t mean to be preaching cos I really don’t want u to think I’m a goody two shoes, except well today I can’t honestly say that. There are some friends you know you should not be hanging with; that boyfriend that is not supportive, can’t pick up the phone to call, makes you cry more times than he makes you laugh; that girl who is all about your money and what you will do for her and her friends but doesn’t push you to become anything in the future. It’s time for them to get on that bus/train/plane the fastest exit outta your life.

In other news I said skipping rope today and Miss Taynement laughed at me and said Jump Rope. Please who is with me? Its Skipping rope jo. Together with the Wii, I have gotten my exercise mojo back.

Do you know who Kathy Bates is? I’m sure a lot of people don’t and before this week I never knew her by name. This woman is the definition of a hard worker, this week alone she was in every single movie I saw and trust me I have watched more movies than I can dare tell u about (I’m jobless what can I say). No role too small or big, she stayed working. She realized that it might take time but eventually her name will resonate with you in almost the same way Betty Whites name is known even though they went through different paths.

It resonated with me only because I wonder sometimes why I do a lot of what I do, and I think that though I might not be getting the money, recognition, accolades whatever it really does not matter. It sounds pretentious saying it aloud, even to me, but it should be all about your resume, it should be about your personal success. The awards will be nice, don’t get me wrong, I’m the most humbled anytime someone says thank you /says I did a good job on something. Again I’m preaching, ai forgive me.

Its Breast Cancer Month, I hope you guys are getting checked and making sure your Mothers, Aunties, Grand Mothers and friends are getting checked too. Don’t forget the men in your lives as well, yes Men get Breast Cancer, I can give you all the statistics if you like, so encourage them to do so as well.

Deuces has to be the one song I will remember from 2010. I can’t even understand why cos usually I love songs that speak to the place I am in life and this song isn’t one of those, I don’t know sha I loved it from listening to the mix tape before every one heard it on the radio. Lol

This is IT… AMEN!!!!

I guess I don’t have much else to say. I hope you have a fabulous week…. The songs this week are inspired from my GOOD MUSIC post + a Beazy Monday track I like…. Music is not done like it used to be men, such a shame. Nways enjoy

Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight
Sade - Sweetest Taboo
Bob Marley - One Love
Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton - Islands in the Stream

Beazy ft Mystkay - Colours

P.S I Love You