I can't sleep, which has been my MO for the past couple days now….I generally don't mind just like to make sure I'm productive if I can't sleep – so this is me being productive….plus I have to take my braids out after work today, clean the house and go get my hair done tomorrow – so I figure I should do this now, otherwise I won't be here till Monday and this is so not a Music Monday Blog…. Which reminds me, when I made the decision to actually start writing I never thought I would write a lot on entertainment and its funny I'm knee deep in it…but it's been good though, I thank God….
So I feel like I miss you guys and have not really spoken to you…I feel like I've been writing more cautiously and I don't like that, so imma try to get my groove back...spoke to my mum today and she told me that any man that will marry me will be lucky and It brought tears to my eyes….it's funny you hear that said from the guy who doesn't want to date you, cos he can't commit…from the guy who won't/can't do long distance or from your girlfriends….it has never had any meaning to me till yesterday….Am I totally being vain or conceited when I say she is right? Lol…not because I'm better, more special, finer than the next but because I'm ME…I'm ME
Let me tell you a story….I know of a woman, a mother actually scratch that a Grandmother whose last born has been diagnosed with incurable cancer and whose first born who herself is a mother has leukemia and won't be able to hold her daughter for 3 weeks….. do you think you can describe or feel the pain this woman is going through?….I really think not….you work all your life to see your children become successful, healthy and happy and now you are watching them sick and there's nothing you can do, but pray, pray that God is merciful to you and remembers all the times you have been good & forgive all your sins……I say this to say that we really need to cherish our lives and cherish each other – my friend lost his dad the other day and I thought to call my dad, which I didn't do btw, will do that today unfailingly - we are visiting this earth, you need to remember that….it's why I find it funny when the girls around me are crying cos they broke up with their boyfriend of 2months and want to kill themselves or just some trivial shit like that….we really need to see the bigger picture sometimes and just realize that there's a reason for everything, and people don't always have to be in your life for a lifetime, some relationships have expiry dates and that's ok
Speaking of which, I really hate the need for people to tell you what they think is good for you sometimes….especially on topics that they themselves have no experience in….my friend "fineboy" would always say if you haven't tried it, you can't tell me it works…….I know, I know I do it sometimes and even if I don't, just cos you haven't experienced something doesn't mean what you say is less important, but some days it just really really irks me….especially about love…..I really wish people would leave me alone on this topic…..being single has been by choice for the most part and I'm not gay…I'm looking for something in someone, and when I find it, I will let you know….why do you think I crush all the time and long distance works for me? Cos I always see a glimpse of said thing and upon further exploration "it's" not there….What is it? Mental stimulation, that's all….I'm a very simple girl, and I want nothing from you other than, you are intellectual and rape my mind…..twitter crush had asked me the other day what I wanted from him? And I told him your attention/time for now…..that's all I want/need every other thing is easy in my opinion….. which reminds me what's the big deal in saying you like someone you just met, I didn't say I want to marry him or that I even want to date him (no particular him, #justsaying) but what's the big deal? If nothing comes out of it, shebi u move on….folks need to take a chill pill and learn to relax, enjoy each moment….enjoy the butterflies in your tummy, the giggles every time you talk to him, the blushes and all that good stuff and if it doesn't work out you move on….
So if you are on twitter you have noticed that Nigeria has been able to trend a couple topics, usually funny stuff, but not #LightUPNIgeria and people get mad upset over this….for one the people who need to be seeing this are not on twitter and staying behind the comfort of your computer and phone to talk about something is not the kind of change we need…Nigeria needs people that will go into the streets to show our disconcert, we need table discussions aired on the radio, on tv…. We need the sons and daughters of prominent people to back up our causes….we need to be ok to donate/campaign for the change we want, we need our musicians, actors and writers to use the gift God gave them to speak up and for goodness sake we need some honest to God people….and some of us e.g. me need to go back home and stop talking
O so I got vals gift….my lil sweet friend sent me a book "The Thing around your neck" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche and a toy gun….lol, she is the best, she is my brothers best friend and so knows most everything about me and is always supportive and praying for me……my brothers friends love me more than some of my own friends gan, lol……thanks Jem, you are the best….
Deep, deep in my soul
Cocooned safely in a web of defense mechanisms
Is something they call my heart
I'm yet to discover it
Not broken, not hurt, just not explored
Experience they say is the best teacher
I say peoples story teach the best, so I learn from you
You who walk around with your heart in pieces
Sorrow and longing has turned your face into a bad painting of you
You whose cries from the depth of your soul,
Has the angels joining you to weep
Until I met you
You whose smiles, honesty & confidence
Has me fighting with myself
Cos deep, deep in my soul is my heart
I am yet discovering itNow playing- On constant repeat – Chrisette Michele – Notebook
P.S. I Love You
Have a great weekend