Monday, February 22, 2010

Visitors on Earth!!!

Its uncanny that i just spoke about her on Friday...but she's gone - my friend with cancer passed on Sunday morning, she was 22...we are indeed only visitors on earth...it took me a moment to cry, i was in shock, somehow in the back of your head, especially being in the health field you know that it will happen, but you never just expect it, afterall i have God in my corner...but then it happens and you wonder where is my God?...was about to leave for church when i heard it too...you know what was on my mind before i heard?- that i was looking really pretty cos i had my hair done the day before, and this giant zit that popped up overnight was trying to ruin my sexy - how stupid huh?

On my way to go visit her folks, i kept singing "You are the Lord, that is your name, you will never share your glory with anyone, you will never share your glory with anybody,you are the Lord and that is your name" still the only thing I've been able to say to God since yesterday...i ended up crying so hard when i saw her sister, who after recounting what happened, then said "the thing is though, i saw her this morning" - don't know how long i cried for but if the headache i still have is any sign, then it must have been a minute...

i'm so pained that i'll always remember how she looked with cancer, cos it was bone cancer that caused her face to swell, and thats how i met her and I've always known her, never got to see her prior to that and looking at previous pictures, she was so beautiful and just talking to her, even though she had to write it down she was so feisty, we would have argued a lot i'm sure... watching her dad cry, watching her mum hold her sister and stroke her head while she cried, knowing that her niece will not get the chance to know her, her sister in the hospital was so brave when i went to see her -  i'm so burnt

My mum always says talk to God like you are talking to me...well here's me talking to God....
I wonder about you Lord, i really do - i'm not trying to insult you or question you or doubt you, i'm really not but i wonder about you...the idea that the GOOD ones go first when there are so many evil, vile people on earth, that will live long and some even prosper is utterly beyond me -like my little angel TJ,was looking forward to watching her grow- dust to ashes huh?...me a mere mortal saying Baba God i don't understand it, but comfort her family and please heal her sister, you owe us that much wont you say?

So sorry, there will be no music Monday today - but please listen to the song below- it has helped a bit...i'm going to go see Jay Z and Trey Songz though, free tickets cos her brother and his wife can't go, would stay home to mourn still(i'm in all black today) but i will just be depressed so i'm going to go, something about faking it till you make it

I should tell you that i truly and utterly love you guys, i know the meaning of love and i don't use it lightly and i'm here for any of you if you ever need me, please know that you can talk to me about anything...i should probably tell twitter crush that i like him, just incase i die today right?- lol, i'm ok though,  not that crazy yet and God willing not dying anytime soon...

Nways let me go back to work, i hate to even open my blog at work, but i had to tell you guys, writing helps me a lot, wrote most of this down yesterday and when watching The West Wing, couldn't keep me from still thinking, went to washing my bras( i don't get how people wash their lingerie in the washing machine) and ironing all my shirts, and then cooking until i was so tired i crawled to my couch and slept off

P.s I LOVE YOU and have a blessed week, the Lord will keep you and yours and this is the last of death news amongst each and everyone of us in Jesus Name. Amen

29 comments:

  1. extremely sorry about the loss! may her soul RIP . when we ask those questions about what God does...the best thing is to reassure yourself is that he knows best...like our father his thoughts for us are of good.

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  2. I'm so sorry for ur loss...now I understand why my post meant much to u. His ways are not our ways,just when we think we have Him figured out we realize we dnt...but we tke solace in the fact that He is the alpha and omega, and He doesn't make mistakes...never. He sees what we can't, so we pray for patience and wisdom to say yes to His will. It is well dear. Luff u too!!!! *e-hugs*

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  3. awwwww. so sad. lost my cousin to bone cancer too jst b4 his 16 bufdai 7or8years ago. its sad. Really sad.

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  4. I'm really sorry about your loss. May the Lord God comfort you and your friends family and may her soul rest in peace. It's such a sad thing when people we care about die and evil individuals continue to live...Ditto your feelings/questions for God. I always wonder why he allows certain things to happen... Life is such a trip..

    Thanks for offering to be a shoulder for others to rely on/cry on...

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  5. awww...im so sorry.i hope the Lord comforts her family and you.

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  6. Cancer is a terrible thing to happen to anyone.
    So many questions..yet few answers-this life.
    Wish you strength to bear the great loss.
    Take heart.

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  7. So sorry about your loss,its really sad. May her soul rest in peace.

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  8. We cant Question God(Kabiosi)
    Your friend is in a better place.
    Take heart!!!

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  9. So so sorry about your loss. I wish you all the strength to bear in this difficult period. Distracting yourself with the concerts is probably a good idea.

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  10. i am so sorry. May she rest peacefully.

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  11. Sorry about your friend. Enjoy your concert, blow a kiss to Trey for me and always keep your friend in your heart.

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  12. Sorry abt ur loss hun. God has a reason 4everythng n trust mi he will neva gives us wat we cannot handle. Ur frnd is in a beta place n i bet she smiled after reading dis blog.
    Continue to pray for her family.
    Take care n ve a great week

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  13. the lord will comfort her family

    sorry about the loss

    may she rest in peace

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  14. May He grant her family the strength to bear their loss and you too. Have a lovely week too.

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  15. Really sorry to hear about your friend. May she rest in peace and God be a comfort to her loved ones left behind.

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  16. oh dearie..so sorry abt your loss..it's hard to see u so sad..God will grant u the fortitude to bear such irreplaceable loss..

    hugs!!

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  17. i am so sorry for your loss!May she rest in peace and may God give the family fortitude to bear the loss

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  18. Take heart babes. God is listening. I know he is. I love you too!

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  19. @Eve -AMEN!!!thank you dear, i agree with you

    @Undercover07- AMEN!!thank you so much, thanks for the hug

    @Fragilelooks -sorry to hear that dear, yes it is sad

    @Shade - Amen and thanks so much, anytime dear i'm here...

    @leggy - Amen and thanks so much

    @blogoratti - i hate it too, thank you so much

    @shorty -Thank you so much, Amen

    @kabiosi - she is, thank you so much

    @Myne - thanks so much and it was a good concert

    @damsel - Amen and thanks so much

    @Taynement - thanks, will do and i did

    @Anon - thank you so much,i appreciate it and will do

    @BBB - Amen and thanks so much

    @TGWTRH - Amen and thanks so much

    @From Now Till i Do -thank you so much and Amen

    @histreasure - thank you so much,i appreciate you and Amen

    @pink satin - Amen and thank you so very much

    @Sugarking - thank you dear, thank you so much

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  20. sorry for your loss dear...all will be well..she is in a better place.

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  21. I am soo sorry to hear this Neefemi. I lost a friend to bone cancer and so I know exactly how you feel. May her soul continue to rest in perfect perfect peace and we love you too!

    PS:- I don't get how people wash their undies in the washing machine either.

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  22. I'm so so so so sorry for you loss dear

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  23. I'm sorry for you loss dear...May God grant you & the family of your friend the fortitude to bear this loss.

    We love you too and are here if you need to talk about anything...I feel your mortal note to God..

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  24. Sweetie, sorry am late to post a comment and sorry for your loss, its hard to understand God ways which are not our ways...but if we are in Christ life is eternal...
    LOTS OF LOVE

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  25. I am very sorry for your loss. A few weeks ago, I lost my best friend to cancer, too. I was a little unprepared because he seemed to be getting better, and I thought I'd have him for a little longer. I was angry, and sad, and I still find myself almost calling him to tell him about something that's happened. My mum read me these scriptures: James 1:13 and then Isaiah 25:8. Please read them, too.

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  26. its so sad. sorry for your loss. may her soul rest i peace. and may God uphold you and her family. takia

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  27. very sad,sorry for the greatloss,just checking you out,cheers

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  28. @unwritten - thank you so much ma and yes she is

    @Original Mgeke - so sorry to hear about your loss too and Amen....ha finally someone that agrees with me

    @Devine - thank you

    @Rose - thank you so much, i appreciate that and Amen

    @Tricia - aww no problem dear, thank u

    @Anon - i am so so sorry to hear that, accept my condolences and will read the passages, i promise

    @Femme lounge - thank you so much and Amen

    @muyiwa - thank you very much

    @24yrold - ose dear

    @

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