Saturday, June 19, 2010
Headaches & Whatever else on my mind
Hello people…..how are you all doing? Hope you are all having a swell weekend. Thanks to all the new additions to my blogsville family, happy to have you all on here. I seem to be the only one not excited about Fathers Day, wasn't excited about Mothers day either sha, it sucks that my folks are not around jo. Anyways, wishing all of your fathers' a Happy Fathers' Day. Fathers' rock eternally and I happen to have a great dad, through all the bad times, I love that man to death and he is very special to me. Grateful for his life and I pray that we will all have many more years to celebrate our fathers. Amen.
So I have headaches, have I said this before. I actually I have migraines. Bad bad migraines. I don't sleep, I get headaches and the days like today I decide to sleep in; I wake up with a headache. O su mi. I know I was just speaking about positive words and believe me I try, initially when it starts I always say "ori fo ota mi (my enemy has a headache)" but omo men story, once it progresses and I want to cry and some days I cry in an attempt to sleep, I start to say I have a headache and I want to scream it to the rooftop, like sharing will make it any better. Nways I have had a lingering headache all day, not as mindnumbing as it was in the morning, and I just really wish I could pour cold water on my head right now. I'm tired of headaches, told BB that the amount of pastors that have prayed concerning my headache this year is scary, like they all had dreams I was going to die from a headache. Nways still talking to God about this, cos I don't want to have this all my life, so I need a complete healing from this and I'm sure he will deliver.
Speaking of heads let me start by saying I am tired of this hair issue everywhere. As far as I know, hair is an identity issue, just like bleaching/tanning and the same with weight. I will explain. Hair for most females is their identity, be it natural, weaves, relaxed, short, and/ long. It's about their identity, what it says about them, how they look, how they feel, not what society is telling them. How else do you explain women who think that they need to marry Chinese men, so their kids can have great hair, so they can be successful? What does society have to do this? If society influenced our hair choices, girls won't have short hair, cos men don't like short hair. How else do you explain women who won't pay their bills, rent, but put a down payment on Indian hair? Before you attack people & insult folks who don't agree with your opinions, you have to understand how hair makes a woman feel. Think of the countless females who can't have hair cos they have alopecia; or have to cut their hair cos of cancer or the folks who think that they cannot succeed because they have nappy hair etc. It's the same with women who bleach or tan…they know the consequences, but they don't feel good about themselves because they think their skin is too pale, they don't look beautiful so they do what they have to do . To me It's like that anorexic girl who is skinny but sees herself fat. These issues have nothing to do with society; it's all about one's identity. I should add here, that society may play a role for some, people who have no mind of own, easily influenced people if you ask me, but for most, its more a self esteem/ identity issue.
My point, DO YOU and allow others do them. Teach by example, which is why I love juiceegal and her natural Saturday's blog, but don't make it seem like you can't be friends with folks because they don't have natural hair or dismiss their reasons for not having one as stupid. Personally I have done thousand different kinds of hair style. My mum cut of my hair when I was 10 cos of my headaches and cos my hair though long was too thick and she thought that might have been why I was having headaches plus no one in school (FGGC Akure) would agree to do my hair, she always had to pay extra when I was home for the old woman to do my hair. Boy was my dad furious. She herself has cut her hair numerous times cos of migraines. I have done every kind of weave except for lace wig (it should be banned) and in various colors. Had a low cut for two years grew out my hair, no relaxer and then I relaxed it and now my hair is shaved off on the one side. I also cannot be arsed about what I have on my head as long as it looks good and is easy to comb or I don't have to comb it at all, I have a fear of combing my hair, relaxed or otherwise it's a freaking mop, I swear I want to go Amber Rose. So yea, please leave the hair issue alone, I beg u. Thank you.
In other news, can't seem to express myself. I miss you has come to mean, I like you, I'm thinking about you, I want you, I miss you….. I miss you now means everything I feel and more, sigh.
My mum is the best, she keeps me sane and I love that she reminds me to pray always, I also love that she asks of all my friends, she's cute like that.
I still say boot instead of trunk as the Americans say. Last I checked I am Nigerian jo.
Someone I knew from my school (Home Science) passed away yesterday from Sickle Cell. I was so sad, cos she couldn't have been 30 yet and then it reminded me about my Cousin Eyit. He should be going on 27/28 now and that fear kills me that he wouldn't get to 30. I love him so much and I keep praying that God you cannot take him from me. We have been telling him he has to marry and have kids, cos im so afraid he won't make it. He is the only son and I'm like dude you cannot not leave a part of you. He thinks we are mad, he is like if he has kids, and he dies who will take care of them. I promise I will, take care of them and raise them as mine, but God forbid, Eyit will grow up to see his grandkids, I believe in a Miracle making God. Nways called him today, he sounds so good and he is doing well and I'm happy.
Please tell the ones you love that you do, please I cannot beg that enough. Life is short, live a regret free life as much as u can. Love with all your heart; even if you are like me and you can't say it please show it.
Miss Fabulola, says she doesn't get why people say "I appreciate you". My argument is that at least for me "I appreciate you" is not necessarily because what you did was to me, but somehow it inspired me, it motivated me, It made me a better person. E.g Audeo (never met her btw) sharing her story on blogsville, she didn't do it for me, but going with her through her hurt and then her healing and now seeing her in love. I have never seen a woman's strength displayed as so, well apart from my mother. And then there are people like my best friend who has gone far & beyond for me. I can confidently say that amongst girls I have not seen friendship like ours yet, amongst boys yes, but girls no, we call each other partners and its true, I feel like she is my soulmate (BB understands this already, lol). And then there is BB who even though he has been in my life for only a short period of time, he has inspired and motivated me and changed my thinking. So "I appreciate it" doesn't quite cut it, "I appreciate you" is more it for me. So what do you think?
I write songs did I tell you? I tend to throw them all out but I had kept this one and I was on skype with a producer friend of mine and I sent it to him and just like that he made a beat to the lyrics and it was so beautiful I had tears in my eyes. So imma try to work on honing my skills, maybe I can add song writer to my resume.
I hope you have nominated your fav bloggers. I'm excited for this part of the awards. I was hoping it will be anonymous so i could nominate myself. ikid. I didn't/wont be nominating/voting for myself, thats some loser shit jo.
www.nigerianblogawards.com.. let's go there....promise to fill out mines tomorrow, that shit is hard.
Chai I talk too freaking much, actually more like I write too much, o well. Forgive me J
P.S I Love You