Monday, September 13, 2010
#MM – VMA Edition
Hi Guys. How are you all doing? I hope your week started well. Busy day and I still have more to do and I feel like I'm already behind not like I couldn't space it all out but I just want to keep my mind so busy so I don't have a minute to feel or think. O well lets random a bit shall we….
Did I say I like long Distance? I must have been smoking something, like I was obviously high on something because I hate it. I HATE Long distance, yes you can quote me glamtings. L Sigh. It's not easy that much I can tell you. The good thing is that it's not trust/insecurities related, not about fights or whatever bad comes with long distance. It just gets so freaking lonely some days. The worst part, I feel like its him specific and I never really had this longing in the previous LDR's plus it makes me feel very vulnerable which is so anti everything I believe in.
Which reminds me, I'm not sure why babes are so eager to be married or even be in a relationship. This thing is hard and the way I feel now makes me wish I was single, at least that way I won't feel the way I feel. Single girls you better enjoy yourself and you get no sympathy from me jo.
My best friend asked me the other day if I had gotten "tired". Isn't that very sad? Like I'm known for getting tired of guys real quick. I guess that's why I have not been in too many relationships and why they never last.
My friend came over the other day and we were talking about the past and he mentioned my ex. He was really mad at me for dating him and for giving myself to him and he goes but I warned you. Dude never said anything all he said was "be careful" and I called him out on that and he said he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to hurt me. I still got hurt. Don't you think I would have been better off being hurt before anything ever happened than afterwards when I was made a laughingstock of? I have never gotten this argument is my point, prevention is better than cure they say, they also say a stitch in time saves nine. You don't have to be my best friend, infact if you are his/her best friend you still should tell the innocent party. It's just the right thing to do.
I haven't told anyone in Michigan I'm around. The only people who know are mutual friends with my brother. All 4 of them. Not sure why I'm hiding.
I paraphrase (don't kill me ma) but it appears that I might come off as either a goody two shoes or a wannabe goody two shoes (not sure which is worse btw). I understand that but I can't really apologize because that is exactly how I want to be "a good girl" not a perfect girl just someone who has tried to make the best decisions and to have done good and one you remember for good. I'm not one of those girls who wants to be having sex conversations (I'm hella prudish), I am however not a virgin and will say my numbers if asked. I don't see the need in putting up scary/nude pictures (I always say you reduce your bride price by doing such), I don't think it's ok to fart, belch, pick your nose, announce the need to use the toilet in front of anyone. (Never mind that I do like to pick my nose, it's the only way to clean the nose if you ask me, just not in front of anyone, even family). I don't know how to explain it without coming off as a goody two shoes, lol, but I really hope that has not scared some of my readers, it will be such a shame.
People say I'm obsessed with my weight. My friend Olisa said I wanted to be a broom badly and I did and that I look healthy now. I never realized. I do talk about my weight a lot, I think America did that to me. I do want to let you know that I have never and will never do anything extreme about my weight and I don't want anyone to ever feel insecure about their body image or type. Everyone is beautiful, cliché but true. I always say that bigger women have the prettiest faces ever. So I hope that is not the picture I have created, my body fluctuates a lot it's why I complain for me, but the most important thing is that you are healthy. It's very important, eat right, sleep well, drink lots of fluids, and get your vitamins.
I think that because of my bad eating habits my tummy has now shrunk in size (not the outer appearance o) but I eat a couple bites and I'm full. I think I have done damage to myself inadvertently
I steadily have conversations in my head, long conversations too. This is becoming scary for me.
I am grateful for God sending me words and confirmations that it's all going to be ok. Today a friend told me of his cousin who buried his mum last month and whose dad died today. I shed a tear on his behalf and I have never met him. He is 21. My life is damn good. I regret ever complaining. Please remind me of this if I complain again.
I think what Taylor Swift did was tasteless. They definitely didn't advice her right. Plus I get the message in the song "you are not what you did" but coming from a 19year old who has been blessed I think that's crazy. I pray she never makes a mistake, you know, drugs, not wearing parties, shaving one side of your hair cause I really think people will not be as forgiving as they have been to Eminem, Britney and Lindsay.
I need your help, if you could please send me a link to your favorite fashion blogs, stores, magazines including those who are vintage geared, I will greatly appreciate it.
I miss my man #thatisall
Now to my 4 fav songs from the VMA's. I think you will be surprised.
Have a great week guys. Have a blast
P.S I LOVE YOU