Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Hellooooo guys... How are you doing? Hope your week has been going fine so far. I have a quick question cos a friend and i are talking and something just came up and we have opposing views so i want to hear what you think.

A lil background first... this is because i can never just write a short brain just doesn't work like that, lol.... You all know me pretty well except you are new to my blog (Shout-out to my new followers tho, i appreciate you and please if u would comment i can get a direct link to your blogs/site, the follower thing doesn't always allow me do that. Thanks)... 

Anywhoo, i was saying you know me well enough to know that i don't think Love is enough. In-fact i dont think love is the beginning. I think it starts with like, then you find that you can trust said person, then you find that you respect said person, then you find that this persons opinion matters to you, said person is accountable, honest and communicative, has the same dreams as you or is at least supportive of yours, is great with your family and friends, and in some cases said person is good in bed, lol. Only then after putting all of this together can you honestly and truly say you are in Love. Do you agree? Its ok if you disagree, but i want to know why?

The main question tho is this. Can you say you have all those things that is trust, understanding, honesty, respect, good communication, good sex and still not be in Love with the person? Is it possible? 

Personally, i do not think it is, i can't even expatiate on that, i just think its highly impossible. I want to know what you think. Thanks

P.S I Love you


  1. Aha! First person to leave a comment!

    I for one think it is possible. And can i also say that I cannot explain why it is? And love is not absolute but there is absolute love. i dont think that makes sense. But I do think that you can have all of those things with one person and still that person will not touch your soul.

    I have been in love and anyone who has read my blog or has spoken to me recently will know that I no longer think love is enough (big fat crying shame cos it should be), but now i also believe that if you can have all those things Neefemi has listed above and not love that person, its alright too.


  2. I first think that you can have all that and be in love. I also think that "being in love" is more about a connection...what you are/become with that person and not necessarily constrained by time. I don't think it something that just happens or develops after a series of events. It's too definitive...too robotic to say, 'you can't be in love without this that and the third coming before hand.' We so often limit love to boyfriend/girlfriend. I do, however, thinks that it takes a lot more than love to make a RELATIONSHIP work.

  3. first sentence correction: *I first think that you can have all that and still not be in love

  4. I don't think love is enough

    Just know that 'love never fails'

  5. Love is certainly not enough, and I'm talking from experience. Let me rephrase that..Love wasn't enough in my situation...Love couldn't save us...Long story, but I'm no longer a believer.
    I now believe one should be smart about matters of the heart i.e.use ur head as well as your heart, don't get carried away by the romance of it all.
    Now back to your question: Yes you can have all those things and not be in love..Ive seen it happen.

    First time here, love ur blog will def be visiting regularly.

  6. Love is not enough but sometimes you have everything and love is all you need

  7. Neefemi... you can have all of the things you listed and still not be in love,that IT factor mite still be missing....that's my own penny worth

  8. you can have all that and not love someone...because the love isnt just feels it isnt something you can do permutation or combination for..]

    But i agree that love is never enough

  9. Some people have a very locked in definition of love. In my opinion, all those things you mentioned count towards love. Depending on the relationship, it may not be enough to go the distance still.

  10. Hmmmm...
    Depends on the type of love we're talking about, I guess..
    There's the 'business-as-usual' one, where you have an imaginary check list in your head that you tick off hoping it culminates in love.
    Then there's the 'business unusual' one that wakes you up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. Turning around to see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state.. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary smile forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know...
    Right there, you know you don't need a checklist.
    But then again, what do I know? #kanyeshrug

  11. Not to sound redundant, yeah it's possible. Your heart can be somewhere else.

    @ RocNaija, you paint such a beautiful image of "business unusual". It makes me teary eyed. Just too sweet.

  12. Ain't been here in ages! x_x
    I agree. I agree. It is possible. I mean, omo kekere ni mi but yeah :p

    Well, everything you stated. Everything, is what leads you to sort of believe you love the person.
    And then this brings us to the nature of this love. You love your friend for these reasons (bed activities exluded), you love your lover for these reasons (bed inclusive :p), you love your family for these reasons.
    So yeah, MOST times out of all, love starts like this. Couldn't have put it better if I had the words and thoughts.

  13. Yes you can have all of that and still not be in love with the person. Love is so much more than that. It is not an equation. It is not composed of checklists. In as much as those things would show in a loving relationship, they could come out of duty or compatibility. For instance you have a friend you've known for ages, since you were a child. You may not necessarily be in love with that person but you simply enjoy that person's company...

  14. Neefemi.. Love is never enough.
    In the face of love, so many things can go wrong that you possibly can't right with love.
    I'd say it starts with acceptance then tolerance then leads to friendship which will embrace like before love..
    I dare say a perfect relationship can exist without love cause then you know what the cards are and when to play yours.
    No, it is not a game but then, situations are better managed that way.

  15. I think that you can have all those things that you listed and still not be in love with the person.

    And love def is not enough.

  16. Ditto!!!! as for the question I think you can have all those things but you would not have true love. True love is basically the definition of all those things you listed. Bottom line is I agree with you.

  17. *Taps Mic* Testing! *clears Throat* Well, em My Dear Neefemi, in my opinion, the fact that you sef have noticed all this similarities and are now left without a doubt as to the person's suitability or otherwise is I repeat, in my opinion, LOVE. Thank you. *drops mic*

  18. How did I miss this one?

    I agree with Vanity....


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