Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday Nights

Hi guys, i hope your weekend went well. I had some kids knock on my door and i felt bad because i did not have candy ;-(. In all my years of living alone (read: apartments) i've never had kids come trick or treat tho, i thought they only went to houses. I will be ready for next year, God willing i'm alive till then.

So not really in the mood for music, plus my mind is just going all kinds of haywire, so lets random shall we.

So as per my intro, why do we make plans and worry about the future? when we could easily not be alive tomorrow. Is it really just the assurance in God that we will live long? and if you don't believe in God, why do you?

My pastor is a joker. So he goes how our praise and worship is our intimate time with God, like foreplay before the real deal. He goes let me school you on the slow cooker deal. You give your wife a kiss in the morning and send her like 5 texts during the day just saying hi so by the time you come home, she is all willing. Like when you put meat in the slow cooker all day and when you come home, the meat is falling off the bones. Lol, i was cringing in church. You gotta love African American Pastors.

Speaking of cringing, obvious lies make me physically cringe. You can always tell i'm lying cos ill straight up cringe. But if you ask my best friend and prolly Miss Taynement the trait i hate the most, they will tell you its INSECURITY. I cannot stand, cannot tolerate it, it makes me mad, as in shaking mad. Sigh. I think you thinking a tweet is a subliminal at you or anybody else btw is a form of insecurity. Was so bad i said it to BB
without being cautious, knowing that he has actually thought i subliminaled him one too many times. Still pissed

If you are a friend to someone i love, you are given automatic Carte -Blanche. I automatically love you until proven otherwise. I may not be friendly with you, but i might vouch for you on account of the person i love. Am i wrong in believing this is the way it should be?

I just don't get why females are fighting this whole double standard thing when it comes to sexuality. I get the part where women fought and thats why we can vote now, but is it really the same thing? The argument that a woman with two d***s in her mouth at the same time is not a ho, is pretty lame don't you think? I'm all for ladies who are liberated and all that, but can i just say do that shit in private, if not don't cry bullocks otherwise.

I think he is mad at me. Shrugs. I pray my feeling inadequate won't have me sabotage this. My friend Yoms, says its a male trait to feel inadequate in a relationship. I've been telling you all i was meant to be a man.

Its easy to agree to something when you are not in said position, our opinions all change ever slightly if we had to walk a mile in said shoes. This is true of almost everything in this life i believe. Something i gleamed while watching another one of my many TV shows. I watch a lot of them.

I'm jealous of successful young people, especially if they are younger than me. I start to think of how i've been wasting my life.

It is highly possible that the reason i'm going through all this is because God wants me to stop being a control, independent, overly ambitious freak. God help me because that seems highly impossible. Lol.

My best friend said my posts have been sad, i really do apologize for that. I'm not necessarily always sad when i post things up, i just say it as it is, but please let me know, if i'm rather too despondent, i need to stop.

I have never approached a guy. Never. :-) it bad that i don't see how a girl does it too? Like i don't know what a guy will have just by looking at him, that will make me say hi. Or like in the movies when you see the dashingly handsome guy and then your friend whispers to you that he is rich too and he is endowed so you go talk to him. Lol, nways if you have approached a guy, ladies, tell me about it.

Cos i can't say this out loud, permit me to say it on here that i'm crazy in love. This is bad real bad Micheal Jackson. :-)

Babes got skinny :-) No ass, no boobs, but its all good in the hood.

T.I ft Chris Brown "Get back up" has now replaced Deuces as my best song of the year.

I might have my bb in my boobs on my wedding day. lol. i'm just saying

I watched Invictus today and i cried. The most inspiring movies to me seem to be sport movies (The Blind side). There is just something about the spirit of team work, dedication, focus and commitment in sports and how it inspires communities and nations. God willing i do hope to promote sports in Nigeria and hope we can regain great standards like we did for the African cup of nations 1994.

I want to do everything sha, write, music, movies, sports, health, entertainment, politics. Itk toooohhhh baaaadddd. Lol

Ok i'm done for now, might be back before Thursday cos trust me when i say my brain is running a mile a dozen, but somehow i can't seem to write a serious post. I have 2 politics post, 2 music post and the book on my mind but nada. O well. I told you all my problem in life is discipline, if i cant discipline myself to do what i love, then how am i ever going to succeed?

Ok just heard this on tv, so decided to share

P.S I Love You :)


  1. I really like this post for some reason. African American pastors are the best because they tell it how it is, I went to jesus house dc a few weeks back, their was a bishop visiting and he had everyone laughing and on the edge of their seats lol, i feel u on so many levels with this post!

  2. Babes, I'ld say ur posts are more soulful than sad, and thats a whole lot of realness pouring out. Realness beyond reasonable doubt.

    "I think you thinking a tweet is a subliminal at you or anybody else btw is a form of insecurity"
    Jare, I'm with you on this sha.

    Pastor? I gbadun!!!

  3. First off you shared "Seasons of love" *tear tear* This brings back sooo many great memories. Last year in college, the majority of my colleagues totaaaaallly loved RENT. They would always sing the songs. I was finally dragged to see the play as part of our team bonding activity and we played the soundtrack all the way (to and fro). Aww. I miss em. Good times...

    No Halloween candy handouts or celebration from me. Got off work not too long ago, so there's no time to go and be "festive". And next year, you shall be alive o Amen. I don't know why we make plans and worry honestly. I guess, for me, worrying has always been second nature. Then again at times it is a result of my lack of total faith in God. He's working on me though. Your pastor's analogy is funny. Priceless stuff. Insecurity..hmmn. I guess we all suffer from it in varying forms. For some it appears in relationships, others academia or know..Cosign on the Carte Blanche..but I've been told it's naive. I don't care...till you show me otherwise O shall trust you. Okay, i am one of the women who fight the double standard issue. To me, it's very hypocritical for a guy to call a girl a ho because she has "2 penises in her mouth" but when he has "2 vaginas in his mouth", he's a player. That's pure BS. It takes 2 to tango and people should stop deceiving themselves. If anyone wants to do the whole name calling ish, then you're both ho's!! Personally, i hate terms like that and i feel like it's not in my place to judge anyone. That's between them and God...Definitely agree about opinions until you have to walk miles in people's shoes. Haha at the jealousy. I experience that sometimes. But like i said on Tayne's post a while back, the goal is not to feel down but to focus on what you can learn from their success/how to achieve success. It is highly possible that is what God is trying to teach you. I'm learning to just enjoy the ride because with God you're always in safe hands..Yeah the posts have been a little sad but that's okay..They'll become fun soon again. They better:)I haven't approached a guy either. Hmmn. I'll consider tacking that on to my to do lists for next year. haha. Glad it's all good in the hood and the skinny chic is in love. aww. too nice..Haven't heard "get back up" (will check it out now) or seen Invictus or The Blind side. I'm so with you on the wanting to do everything and having a lot on my mind. Sheesh. God help me too. If I have to send the holy spirit to bulala you so that you can be more disciplined, do let me know. I have him on speed dial:) And you shall be successful girl. Don't ever doubt that..

  4. LOL @ ur Pastor!

    I've never approached a guy neither, I wouldn't know how to go about it.

    Don't be jealous hun, u'll be success IJN!

  5. "..its a male trait to feel inadequate in a

    *scratches head*

    Errr.. Hmm.. Uhmm...

    *scratches head again*

    Is your friend male or female??

  6. Being able to express your feelings is what I admire most about you. If your emotions veer towards melancholy sometimes, sweetie, it's how you feel and it's what makes you real..
    Try not to envy or resent anyone cause your destinies are different and God's plan for you when revealed is amazing honey..
    Live life.. Be happy.. Have fun being home and not doing much for soon, you'd miss the 'alone time'
    Have a splendid week..

  7. never hit on a guy

    'ladies don't do that'.


    About the mood thing, it will pass. You can help it along too by meditating on scriptures that tell you who you are.

  8. I am with roc on the whole inadequate thing. like huh? both sexes have their moments of inadequacy, never known it to be relegated to just men.

    From what I know of you, you are a normal female, I don't know why you think you are male-ish.

    Your pastor is funny.

    back in the day i have approached guy(s), wuru wuru ways tho ranging from bringing up common ground to writing my number on paper and telling him to call me.

    Not quite sure why we worry especially when everythng will be.

    Hmm, I actually don't think your posts have been sad(der). Your posts have always had an air of melancholy. I should go re read.

    hmmm, your bb idea might be smart, me that I am addicted but nah. anyone who feels the need to call or bb me during my wedding is an idiot.


  9. You said it's guys that feel inadequate in relationships? Hmmm. I think it depends.
    Plus the thing about you not deserving stuff always troubles know where I stand on that one.
    I'm such a sucker for love!!! TELL HIM!!!! Lol. (This is not gonna happen!)
    You're not old abeg. There's time in this life to be successful. God knows I can never judge the success in my life based on someone else's. I will be successful in Jesus name. No it's not happening right now, but when it does happen, Imma give glory to the One that gave me the grace to get there.
    You gotta claim it. You tell me this all the time. Power in the tongue. CLAIM IT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh and about the being alive tomorrow thing, I don't have a crystal ball but this can't be it! Oh gosh I pray this is not all there is!
    I love you.

  10. @Onose - Thank you so much darling and yes they are the best

    @Sugarking - I really really appreciate that, you wouldn't know how much. and lol, i have seen ur posts about subliminals too

    @Shade - I love you, you should know that. I don't even know where to start, lol. I get the double standard of it and i'm not a fan of it, i'm just saying that it is there and its not going away, so lets respect ourselves. And i might still need that bulala o

    @Blessing - You and me both. Thanks a lot ma, Amen

    @rocnaija - lol, male but we have talked about this

    @Ayohla - i see you :)

    @2cute4u - awwwww, thank you so much ma. I am trying ma and will continue to do so.

    @Tisha - lol and yes ma, working on it

    @Taynement - Come and teach me how to approach a guy now. And i guess i have always had some, but they were far and in between in the past, maybe cos i didnt share then. Lol, you would find that there a lot of idiots in the world i bet.

    @E4 Pr - Thank you so much

    @Oye - Claiming it ma and i'm with you men, i pray this is not all there is. Love you more ma


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