Everything's changed, my whole perspective is changed...
I wish i could say i was surprised but i'm not....
I'm adjusting well as i do all things, rationalized it all as i do everything....
I know i'm better for this insight and for this change...
I'm amazed at my own strength though that much i can tell you....
When i'm absolutely sure i'm about to be ripped apart one way or the other...
I find some kind of inner calm, i become instantly cold and i make my decision and i move on....
Its shocked those around me lately, the heartless part of me appeared....
I'm not sure everybody is comfortable with it, they will deal i expect.....
Speaking of sides, i promise to have a new side of me when school starts
Praying that i'm accepted and this time everything works out
The side that has actual friendships that ain't virtual or long distance
Maybe not party cos well partying isn't my thing
But days like tonight when i desperately want to go out i need actual buddies
So i'm going to change, and garner all the friends i should have in the past 6 yrs
I wish i could say that it will happen asap, but really where do u meet people?
Can't keep holding on to past friendships and new friends are all far.
I wonder if i have always subconsciously picked meaningful friends cos they are far away.
End of the year and i wonder if anything has gone according to plan
Its really true when they say "Man Proposes and God disposes"
Can't even remember what my resolutions were, but i'm sure i would if they worked out
So the question is what is the plan? really what is the plan for my life? cos i'm lost
Started writing, there are three different stories and i'm working on them all simultaneously
So i'll be away from here for a bit. I will miss you.
Gonna spend the next two weeks while i'm anxiously waiting for acceptance letters to focus
So whatever comes first, either my finishing any of the book or hopefully my good news
I will come and share with you. So wish me luck and put me in your prayers
Good luck to everybody and please take care of yourselves.
Loads of love and kisses
P.S I LOVE YOU