NOTE: Sorry guys i don't know what i did or what happened, but somehow i lost this post, together with the comments. Thankfully my best-friend had it, so all is well. I am sorry to those who already commented, i would put it back up, since i have them in my email.
Hello guys, how are you doing? Hope you all had a splendid week and wishing you a splendid weekend ahead.
A couple things:
1. I have gone back to reply every comment, i am so sorry for slacking off on that and i promise not to again.
2. I actually forgot that yesterday was Thursday, will make up for Praise Thursday next week, plus that will be Testimony Day, Thankful in advance.
3. So i saw my blog on Linda Ikeji's blog roll the other day and i felt like a star. :))
4. Shout-out to all the new followers, plus you should know i always check out your blogs and i always read, i just might not comment, will try to amend that.
5. Finally, disregard the name of this post, just couldn't come up with something else. This is a very personal post, don't know why i said that in advance, but thought you should know. Let's go
Today, as with many days prior i was asked "So are you and your guy official yet?" My response as usual is NO!!... That's something a lot of you didn't know. BB and I are not official.
The next question is often "how long have you guys been talking now?"..... 10 months
The next question is then "why? There has to be a reason?"..... I don't know, I really don't know.
Prior to meeting BB, i believed that you needed to be official within 6 - 8months, especially when you know that what you have is good and not a joke, of course whether or not the relationship will last is another issue.
Now often people want to know specifics.
Things like does that mean he can talk to somebody else or can I?....Truth is technically he can and so can I. I am not talking to anyone else, whether or not he is, i don't know.
Same with sex. I am not having sex with him or anybody else. Whether or not he is, i don't know.
Another is "so if he sleeps with someone else and you find out, what would you do?" Honestly, i don't know. I used to say as soon as i find out a guy cheats on me, as long as there is no ring on my finger i'm out the door. As you all know, love is not enough for me. The question comes up, that can you consider it cheating? doesn't not being official mean that you don't owe each other anything? ... I say valid points. Like i said i don't know. I will hurt, be disappointed and walking out will definitely be an option and probably the first thing i will try to do.
Another question is "so if you are out and he introduces you as his friend, how would you feel?" I honestly wouldn't feel anyways, and i would introduce him the same way. His family and friends know about me as my friends and family know about him. BB and I joke that we are going to go from straight to where we are to being engaged.
Why am i saying all this? Before this relationship, everything was clear cut for me, so i can't fault anyone for feeling like i am doing myself a great disservice by going about this way. People are worried about me and are afraid i'm going to find myself hurt. That's fair and i understand and yet i wouldn't have it any other way. I love this man and i give him a 100% even on days when i complain and want to be out of it and what we have been through, because as you can probably guess, we have been through things seems unbearable. There are some secrets that just have to stay between a "couple" and if we end up not being together i probably will cry and then i will move on. I do want to be official at some point, you are right to say its time, but for us things need to settle down a lil bit, individually and as a unit, but for me it has to be natural and cannot be forced.
Looking at it from the outside you might say that we are both afraid to commit or as my guy friends say "he has found an option to eat his cake and have it, that is keep you for marriage while he sleeps around, so when he does something and you find out, he pulls the friendship card" - That was word for word, a comment by a friend btw. All valid points, and i have often said that i am afraid to commit, growing up i never saw myself married, i thought i was going to be a highly successful woman, who was single and adopted plenty kids and the thought still lingers.
So my point in all this, life is not simple, life is complicated with plenty shades of grey and black and white and yellow. But you do yourself a great injustice not living it to the fullest. Learn to bend the rules. Adjust it to fit your needs, embrace change without losing your principles. If i thought my principles were compromised, i would not continue this and if i ever feel it is i would walk away, no questions asked. People are only looking from the inside in and though they think they know the best for you and might even have gone through the same experience, sometimes you have to go with your own gut and instinct. You know where it hurts the most, you know if the good outweighs the bad, you alone know.
Don't be fooled to think that you need a man to be happy at any age, don't let past relationships ruin your life, don't rush for the wedding day and the white dress and cake, cos marriage is a heck more than that. Understand that every relationship is very different, perspectives are varying, what works for the goose certainly does not work for the gander. I come from a broken home and as stable as my siblings and I are, its the worst thing that happens to a child, don't be deceived. Still i think it would even be worse to be in a home, where everything is wrong, the man cheats, beats his wife or vice-versa cos some women are doing it, all in the name of staying together."When people(read: HE/SHE) show(s) you their TRUE colors don't try to paint a different picture."Pray for the right choice, the right man, the one for you. Know that it takes a lot of work. Aim to be best person you can be, the right choice for him, the right woman for him.
Nways, i suddenly felt the need to share this with you, i don't know why. Forgive the preachiness of it all, this is how it formulates in my brain and the only way i can relate it. Thank you for reading at all, i appreciate it.
Have a splendid day and God Bless.
P.s I've still not told him I Love him, upon all my talk. I shall wait for wedding day, if it happens. Don't judge me :)... This is my one kryptonite
P.P.s I LOVE YOU