Monday, August 30, 2010

#MM - Live from M.I

Hi people. How are you doing? In Michigan now, not too settled as most of my stuff are still in the car but thats story for another day. But, i'm with the bro and the sis. She was so surprised she didn't know i was coming and she cried. She is so tall, so pretty, i'm like jealous. My siblings are really fine as in model kind fine and well lets just say i'm fat. ikid, ikid. They have been stressing me sha, they want to eat this and that and they keep fighting each other, Oyinbo(my sis) is such a tomboy, she bounces, she  has a deep voice, so fearless and full of life. I used to be like that and then i grew old. :(. So my bro banned her from receiving calls and texts after 11pm. I nearly died of laughter. I should have known that i raised my bro well and he will do a fine job disciplining her & i never have to worry. :)

Can i just reiterate that applying for jobs has to be the most depressing thing ever. God is in control.

In other news, no more BB talk, no more marriage talk, no more love talk. LOL. Like seriously tho enough jo, i'm happy and all but i don't like emotions and i've been all gushy for a while now so can we get back to normal. Thank you.

O guys Andy Roddick is about to play. So happy, he better win cos that guy likes to dull me seriously. So Soccer is back. #TeamArsenal and in like a week or so American Football Season is fully on (pre-season sucks jo). O plus America is representing well in the worlds so far (only TeamAmerica cos there is no TeamNigeria). I am happy. My life is complete and o tv shows are all coming back. Yaaaay me

So today i read this post in which it gives us data about our country Nigeria that i believe is not exactly accurate and i just had to comment. Had to go comment two more times and i promise the last time was the last time but i think its interesting that people in trying to refute your opinion/comment don't try to understand what the point is you are trying to put across.

As a blogger i notice that people only pick up on things that interest them to comment on, i do it a lot and i guess that was my bad on this post cos i should have said how i agree on everything else but this and maybe i won't be "attacked". Na no fight or anything i like to remain as civil as possible, but i would really like for Nigerians especially when you are reading a post that is informative to not be afraid to question it, call it out on its bullshit if there is bullshit, defend your position while remaining civil. Also i think a lot of people just accept data especially when its from a foreign body and i think thats just wrong. I find that a lot of folks refuse to put things in proper perspective and that right there is Nigeria's downfall.

P.s. Numbers do lie, except you talking money.

Music shall we :)

Monster - I think EVERYONE should have heard this. But maybe you have been busy and you haven't gotten around to it. Here is Monster by Kanye West ft Rick Ross, Jay Z and Nicki Minaj. - Kanye is awesome as usual, Jay is just there and Nicki showed that she is serious about this music thing.


I just love knowing that Lauryn Hill is back


I love Diggy Simmons - and he is for real


And for a taste of something Diff @lumidizzle put me on to this song Swedish House Mafia ft Pharrell - One


O Ms.O posted this on twitter and although i do not think it is mind blowing, ilike. Got to see FELA on broadway this yea


P.P.S I LOVE YOU... have a blessed week

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Praise Thursday - What a year

Almost a year to the day, i moved to Houston and today as i get ready to leave i'm almost in tears. Cried earlier but i'm a big girl so that ends now :). Its been a great year and i'm really grateful to God. So much so i'm at a loss for words. Lets see i've celebrated birthdays, buried a friend, celebrated marriages, got the valuable job experience i needed, made friends, lost friends, i met BB, i worked hard in some areas, not so much in other areas, i gained weight and i lost it, cut my hair, its grown a lil now, traveled, become a better writer, dare i say become more sociable, fell ill with some strange sumthings, recovered.Like wooooowwwww, you don't realize how much goes into a year really. I don't think i've ever really taken stock of the value of time, how much one accomplishes, opportunities used or missed, decisions made, joys, sorrows, the highs and the lows that is packed in a year, month, week even.

Like i said its been a great year, my best friend and her mum took me in no questions asked and treated me like i was blood. We fought, we laughed, we cried, we danced, argued, i mean everything, i never felt left out, infact i wanted to kill them for including me in everything. Its so bad cos me and the bestfriend look more alike now than we did a year ago, like we are some married couple.lol. Their whole "community" took me in, everybody knows me as oye's bestfriend. My family friends/cousin (i'm not sure jo, lol) who took me in and made me feel welcome in their church and homes, introduced me to everyone, every Sunday was kinda like family time. And i did it with you guys, after all the blog was only a couple months old before i moved here, so really you have all been a part of this journey and all i can say is THANK YOU. THANK GOD for his undying mercies and favor and grace, especially because i know i have not kept my end of the deal and yet he has been faithful.

This is really bittersweet for me, i'm leaving loved ones to go be with loved ones. My sis doesn't know i'm coming so i can imagine the shock on her face. I haven't seen her since Jan 09. Plus i hope this move is only temporary and that i'll be moving to what i hope will be a semi-permanent home for me when i find a new job and it will be in the city i start skool in, in January. It will all work out, thats my assurance.

Faithful is our God - Hezekiah Walker


Hold on, Change is coming - Sounds of Blackness


Not about us - Bishop Noel Jones and The City of Refuge Choir


Still Here - The Williams Brothers ....this song speaks to me, now more
than ever, if you don't listen to any song, please listen to this.


P.S I LOVE YOU.... wish me safe journey guys :)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Not exactly Music Monday

HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO Good Morning!!!!! Yes o, at 2:17pm I am just finally getting the energy to do anything. I am currently unemployed, what can I say? I could start by telling you that I am sorry though for not doing #MM yesterday. You see what had happened was (heheheh they say starting a sentence/statement like this means you are lying, but I promise I am not. Scouts Honor. Lol) it had been a long day, cleaned the house, packed for my move back to MI, gone to ship some things to Nigeria, got some food and just as  I was about to sit down to write finally it started raining, thunderstorms, lightening the whole nine yards and of course they took the light. It was too funny, I mean all of this sereren took like 20mins and they took off the light for like 3hrs. By the time I left for my send off party there was still no light and I got back at 12.30 and it was straight to my bed. So forgive me guys.
So about the wedding. Hmmmm!!! Not the way I would have mine at all. Before attending this wedding I was so sure that I had no ideas for my wedding, now I’m irritated with myself about how detail oriented I want my wedding to be (can I really not just go to the court? I already know the answer to that btw) e.g. I don’t like flowers but apparently I have to have them so I decided I wanted fresh ones and not that plastic steez. I also don't want to have on makeup. I also decided that my friends cannot change into bathroom slippers in the name of they want to dance and can’t do it in heels, so we are all going to get the same kind of flats. Lol. I also realize that a long bridal train is not my thing, infact I have only 5folks, if BB is the one, he has only 5 too. He earned points. Lol. Somebody said you should marry your best-friend. I wholeheartedly agree. Its very easy to get a boyfriend, but not as easy to find a husband. Parents for all their good intentions fail to realize this. i also think a lot of mothers think you can can turn any man into a husband and i wholeheartedly disagree.
 my orange nails
Nways what I also realized was that I’m secretly afraid, maybe I’ve said it before, but in my mind I “broke up” with BB, cos I started to over think and I thought how I can’t do it, I’m too independent, he’s too this, my family this and his family that, it won’t last and this and that. Like, I literally had a panic attack. You couldn’t tell on my face tho, so freaking calm. I prayed and I’m praying that the spirit of fear will never overtake me like that again and that I won’t use my own hands to sabotage this and any other good thing in my life. But in conclusion I think I was meant to be a boy, I keep saying it. I don’t like sereren, emotions irritate me, I’m too straight forward for my own good, I’m way too practical. I’m exactly like my male friends, which is why we obviously get along so well. I love my female bloggers but again this weekend and just from recent stories, I’m convinced. I don’t “do” girls and that’s ok by me.  My ushers at my wedding will be my numerous male friends’ #fact.
My friend said to me that he cannot do long distance. I told him its cos of his trust issues he said “no it’s not trust but aren’t there really nice and great girls around BB for example”. Yep that’s true and there are great and good nice guys around me as well. I don’t think I gave him a clear answer, for me it comes down to the fact that we are best of friends; we need to hear from each other to sleep and to start the day. If he is doing that with multiple girls then wow, that’s a lot of energy and there are some men and women like that and I can only say more grease to your elbow. Besides even if we live in the same city trust me, someone who wants to do sumn will find a way to do it. When there’s a will there is a way.
So I’ve wanted to address this issue for a while so bear with me. I’m tired of seeing our Nigerian artists get disrespected. I’m going to talk about Banky mostly cos he is the only artist on my timeline, or the only artist that gets this much flap I should say, cos I only follow Beazy and Banky and Beazy doesn’t get any flap at all. I will also touch on Eldee a lil cos I see his tweets a lot on my TL. No I do not know Banky personally, sure he went to my high school, trust me when I say I had nothing for him to rbr me by, lol and yes he follows me on twitter, but that’s beside the point and if you know me, you know that I am not crazy about any Nigerian artist like that, wouldn’t even call myself a fan of anyone. I say all this to say there is no bias here.
My thing is this, why do folks feel the right to insult Banky and them. Banky and Eldee are two of the best artists in Nigeria, somehow MI and Psquare have gotten more recognition and that’s how God works, but those are two artists that I can say do music cos its their life, what they eat and breathe. They respect music and treat it in reverence; they are not doing some soulja boy, eedris shit and just spitting nonsense. So why do folks most of them young enough to be slapped across the mouth feel they can disrespect and insult them. Like seriously just for saying Good morning, they get insults, you complain about them clogging ur timeline, ummm unfollow button much anyone? Like why do you follow these people just so you can insult them? The other day I had had enough and was just going to insult this one girl, swear down she couldn’t be up to 18. I just really hate the disrespect Nigerians are giving to their artists and not even the bad ones, the good ones. Banky for example tries his best to respond to folks, and I feel like these folks would never talk to their American counterparts as such.
Banky caused it by being too nice if u ask me, but then I saw Eldee address some people on what he called “asshole day” and though most of those folks did deserve that, it’s not how you expect an artist to handle such situations. I can’t come up with a solution, believe me I have tried but nothing is forthcoming so guys if you could think of a way those artists and their managements can deal with this situation and btw please don’t say ignore. Like that thing only works for so long. Maybe they should just get off twitter. But they didn’t Chris brown anyone and they are not like our senators stealing money, like seriously why the disrespect? Can anyone explain this to me?
Nways quickly I want to show you this video and insult the artist and I know that in doing what I do in this industry, I’m setting myself up but I really must say something. Like seriously should I even say anything, please listen and watch and tell me what you think. Its freaking 2010 nobody wants ur freaking chicken change and nobody wants you singing abt it either. Olowodow.
Ok in other news please listen to Bad Guys Funky House Remix. Beazy ft Chykay and Kas produced by Playback Genius
Marry Me by Chykay produced by kidknonnect (vote for him a NEA international producer of the year btw). I love this song and Chykay is singing at my wedding. 
P.S I LOVE YOU and o so i got my own column in Allure magazine, Nigeria. Its called Inspired by style btw. On this last Sundays edition i was on the last page. About to send in my next article and find out if i'm getting paid.  hehehehehe. Muaaaaahhhhhh

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hi Guys

Internet isn't working guys, so I can't put up my Praise Thursday. Posting this via my phone. Sowwweeeeee :(. Hope you all doing good though and your week went as planned. Can you Believe its Thursday already? This is the fastest year ever if you ask me.

Just want to encourage you guys to hold on a little while longer, have a spirit of gratitude no matter what the circumstances are, remember to always be a blessing to those around you and never fail to realize the blessings God gives you daily. For me its my family and my friends. Sometimes people want to believe that God is going to come down and bless you, and sometimes he does but for some he has already put all that you need to succeed right here on earth for you. Like I said for me its especially my friends, I'm even tired of saying thank you I can only keep praying for them and asking God to continue to bless them and that includes all of you btw.

Nways in random gist. I have beautiful nails. Lol. Will post up a pic later. There is a wedding this weekend and ur girl has to look good, you know the deal.:-) I always dress so simple though, usually a black dress, but I'm going with a blue and a grey dress and I did orange nails, that's as far as I'm going for color. Lol.

Moving back to michigan to be with the bro and sis next week. I feel like one of them folks you see in movies when things go bad in their lives, they move back to their parents home. lol God please hear my prayers, I desperately need a job. O so I said on twitter, guys have now changed to being crazy about a girls body and no longer care abt the girls face. For me please the face is very important jo, like the bestfriends mum will say, you want someone whose face makes you happy, especially when you mad at him and he smiles, you just forget everything that ever happened. Lol. Trust me it works for BB well. Plus not to say that anybody is ugly but emmm you going to be waking up to this persons face every morning, I'm just saying it should be appealing especially without the makeup and fake lashes and all. My friend called me a hater and that I'm only saying this cos I'm not physically endowed(boobs and ass). This is true. Lol

Ok that's it guys, hope I made u smile :). Thankful for everything, for everyone of you, for family, for friends, and for a Merciful God. Have a great weekend. Be safe.

P.S I LOVE YOU

Monday, August 16, 2010

#MM - You name it :)

So it’s Sunday night, 9.38pm as I start this. I tried to sleep after cooking this wonderful meal and I can’t. I think it’s weird that I take so much pride in cooking, I don’t take pride in my looks,  my personality, my “successes” so far, even the fact that I’m somewhat of a decent writer and yet I take so much pride in cooking. I’m so backwards I tell you and I’m very bad, I take forever to cook cos everything has to be fresh, I take the most joy in cutting my ingredients all up and seeing how colorful they all look. Never mind that I can hardly eat what I cook, if I manage to eat it hours later, I may never eat it till it finishes. Yes I also think that its’ bad for females to not know how to cook (please forgive me) it’s just cos I enjoy it so much and o a guy that can cook, as in cook cook, ay papi, let’s get it ooonnn… lol, issues.
Just before i added the rice...i never want to add the rice, i just want to look at this all day :)
 
I’m watching Definitely, Maybe (such a great movie) and April ‘Isla Fisher’ says to Will ‘Ryan Reynolds’ “you don’t find love, love finds you” ain’t that the God Honest Truth. It’s hard if you are single and it seems like age is creeping up on you and your family members are on your neck and your friends are all getting married and having kids to believe that, but I really wish folks did believe this. There is so much peace from understanding this statement.
April also goes on to say “that there comes a time, a certain age where you just know’. You see what people fail to realize in this statement if you ask me and this is totally my opinion btw, I might be wrong & I already think I’m very na├»ve nways, is that for everybody that certain time is different i.e. for me it might be at 23, for you it might be at 18, for her it might be at 27. The other thing I think is that love is not enough, there is only one kind of love that is enough and that’s the Love of God, human love is not enough though, even if you love a person as fiercely as God loves you (highly impossible btw) there is trust, insecurity, external family members, pride, children, finances, respect, just plain ole you are not having a good day and you take it out on him/her and it becomes a thing, like are you getting my point here. Life happens and I wish people would understand that once the love comes, once the man or woman comes then, my darlings starts the real and I mean the really hard, studying engineering even though you are an artist seems easier, WORK.  Enough wisdom from me (sing with me IN MY MIND, lol)
I wrote a fashion piece for Allure magazine, if you picked up a copy of Vanguard Nigeria yesterday you might have seen my very long name in there. So I send in the article using Neefemi, why does my dad tell them to change it and use my complete full name, as in the one name is like 20 letters long, like seriously? Nways if you know anything about me the fact that I said fashion piece should have caused you to pause. I don’t do fashion, I don’t know fashion, I keep saying I don’t own any designer(s), so you already know I don’t know what’s in and what’s not. I did not enter the mall in the one year I have been in Houston and I haven’t even been shopping all year, like the last time I went to shop was sometimes last year. Nways I’m going to send in two more articles if I can get around to doing it tomorrow, who knows maybe there is about to be a change in my life. ilaugh heheheheheheheh
I have terrible memory, or maybe it’s just really selective, I mean I knew that part but I didn’t realize that how terrible it was, like how can I not remember that I spent the day with my brother at a Pistons game never mind that it was like 2yrs ago. I feel bad; I can’t rbr it at all. This is why pictures are important. There was a point in my life when I hated pictures, for the first 3years in this country, I could not be caught dead in a picture, it wasn’t happening. Then 2008 came, I lost so much weight, I had broken up with the useless boyfriend (yes I meant useless), graduated from college, dated somebody else, was broken up at the end of the year, lost friends, was so vain, it was just a weird  year , somehow pics made everything seem ok. I took pictures of everything; everyday, random pictures, some of those pictures the original cameras and computers are now long buried, but thank God for facebook. Which reminds me how do I extract all 60sumn albums from facebook? I no longer take pictures and not sure why as I am obviously happier. I haven’t taken a single picture with BB; we always talk about it once we are miles apart. Lol. I need a camera though, a great one.
I’m so mad at my friend right now; I just want to shake him. You know what I’m going to shut up cos I realize that I’m judgmental, overly ambitious and want so much for those I love, I project. I want to fight life’s battles for them and truth is I can’t, I can barely fight mines. I can just pray, I will just pray and hope to God he hears me on his behalf and his manifestation comes soon. P.s. I think that if you are suffering in one environment, you need to up and leave that environment completely, hopefully you can afford to do just that but sometimes even when you have nothing you need to take that leap of faith and just up. Going through the same struggles over and over and over again in one environment makes no sense to me and if you ask me is not in the plan of God for u.
 O I took off the nose ring for good today, I feel weird.  Nways on to the music.
I love this song, I’m not sure why. Just gets to me. So my Wedding Song. Bebe and Cece Winans – Close to You
Just saw this video via Muyiwa and if you ask me this is the best song, best video outta Nigeria in a min the sincerity in this song and how just regular it is gets me. Such a far cry from Lamborghini or other big cars, big booty, heavy makeup, party scenes, photo-shopped videos out there.

p.p.s i hate applying for jobs. sigh. pray for me people
p.p.p.s. I LOVE YOU :)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Praise Thursday - Greater is HE that is in ME

Hi Guys, how are you all doing? Thank you so much for the feedback on my last post, i really appreciate you all for your encouragement. I always reply your comments, so please check them out.

Praising God today for a renewal of spirit, for joy, for love, for strength and because i know i shall overcome. I am getting better, i'm still not perfect, i am trying to become a better Christian especially when it comes to meditating on his word. I am thinking of getting a partner to pray with and go through the Word with. I would ask BB, but he already has a group and i kinda like it that way. Nways if anyone is interested. Let me know.

God Blocked it - Kurt Carr - If this song doesn't move you, well..... lol


Rebuild Me - J Moss - I asked God to do this in my life, just this morning and i'm expectant


How Many Kings? - Down Here - I'm so in love with this song. Only one God did it for me


My Walk - Canton Jones  - This song is the truth


Free to be me - Francesca Battistelli - Whenever i sing this song, i always want to cry, its so real


P.s I Love You
Have a great weekend

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A Night at IHOP

I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence and try to explain what IHOP is, if you truly don't know, that's totally fine too, please google it. Funny introduction, hi guysJ. This is a story and might I apologize in advance a long one, of my "spiritual" (you will see why, although I must say it could come off as blasphemous) journey with the book Eat, Pray, Love. I promise it will be an interesting read, at least I hope, in my head it's all kind of hilarious.

The day started with a certain kind of calm for me, I don't call it a mood, others might, but I'm just in a place where I am calm, don't feel like talking to anybody, but I'm not sad, neither am I happy I guess, I'm just calm. Today was better than most days though because I prayed, that's been difficult over the past couple days so I was glad about that, but again somewhere in the middle of my prayers, my mind drifts as it always does, I start to think of the most irrelevant things one could think of, I reprimand myself, refocus and finish my prayers as quickly as possible. I decide to blog and listen to the loads of new music I had recently downloaded, two things I hadn't done in a while. I had made a decision the night before to try my hands at new things like yoga classes or art classes, but a quick search of the internet showed that the best things in life are not all entirely free. Next step then was to find a bookstore that had "Eat Pray Love" as at this point author unknown. You see I don't rbr authors, I hardly ever remember the title of the book, and I just pick it up and read. My favorite authors John Grisham, Ken Folliet (you all need to read his book The Third Twin), Danielle Steel etc I rbr because I read their books often enough I began to recognize their style of writing, I could tell you a Nora Roberts novel if you just told me the plot. I should tell you that I was surprised I even wanted to read this book. You see I am somewhat of a snob, I don't take well to someone's recommendation of a blog, a book, a movie, a song, whatever, the only exception being my bro and he had said he thought it would be much better than the movie (my findings from previous book turned movies experience confirms this as truth), he also said to watch the girl with the dragon tattoo and also read the book. I always listen to my bro, well almost always, because I did get the book, started the movie but just couldn't finish it, imma wait for the American version. iDigress. I call the 1st bookstore, they don't have it, the 2nd does and so I tell them to hold a copy for me (the girl with a dragon tattoo was more of a last minute decision). I decide that in the spirit of the book I am about to read, I deserve a hearty meal, I was craving moi –moi, so I call the family friend to find out where to get some, call the bestfriend to see if she wants some, she does. So first we stop at the bookstore, get the books and proceed to get the food, in totally opposite directions I might add (it looked better than it tasted), did some grocery shopping, got home ate and proceed to start the book. One page later I'm fast asleep. No the book wasn't boring as is obvious by my writing somewhat of an ode to it and in retrospect it was a genius move, cos it allowed for what will end up being one of the best nights of my life. Btw it's apt to say here that in my opinion the only difference between me and Elizabeth Gilbert (I find out her name a quarter ways through reading this book btw) is how we look at food. You see I hate food, can't try anything new, like why the hell will I want to try intestines of an animal. Yuck. But she is willing and able to eat anything and loves food. I am slightly envious of her for this.

But this is where the real story begins. I start reading the book and I'm amazed. She writes like I do. She is writing in 1st person "I" and it's interesting. I have always faulted my ability to be a good writer, because I cannot my remove my person from the character, hence even my stories sound like it's about me when it could totally be a fib. How was I ever going to write a bestselling novel, if the story is written in 1st person always? And if I was even able to pull it off, it will only be that one book; there could never be a 2nd, 3rd, 4th book. This theory probably still holds btw, I would have to read all that she is ever written and see that she wrote this way all the time for me to believe this possible. Upon this realization I looked at the time its 10:26pm and realize this is not going to work, I couldn't  read this book in this house, cos unless I was in the bathroom, I couldn't have the lights on as everybody was getting ready to sleep. Quickly I make a decision, I need a 24hr spot to read this book, and I need to study this book. What I really wanted to do was get a highlighter and highlight the parts that resonated in me but if there is anything I hate, its highlighting a book, especially new ones, it's almost as bad as underlining verses in the bible(not that I haven't done it, just hate it). I tell BB, what I am about to do, and he asks the obvious question, do you have to finish the book tonight? What would you do tomorrow? (You are afterall jobless his head is obviously telling him). He comes up with conclusion afterwards "you are a weirdo", lol, a fact that I have never denied. I am like that, I have sudden urges; I have sudden desires, to be honest if I was born with money I often wonder what I would have gotten myself into. Two reasons why he did not pull the boyfriend card on me and graciously ask me not to go with the unspoken message being if you say no you lose points is that he was mad tired for one and secondly when he called to I'm sure ask, he heard the excitement in my voice, and knowing that I haven't been that excited in a minute he let me be. I quickly say bye and send him to bed before he gets some energy to argue and I get bbm a second later "Be safe, send me a bbm when you get home". I did. "Just got home babe, perfectly safe, will tell you about it later in the day. P.s I am crazy about you for what it's worth. #kthanksbye.muuuuaahh". I quickly close the chat; I don't need a reminder of my brief moment in showing my emotions. I love my man.

This is where I should tell you all about BB, the person that has become my heartbeat, my friend, my confidant, very imperfect very loving man. I find that I can't. Somewhat like the same way Liz (cos she is now my person) couldn't or wouldn't talk about her ex husband. I guess the things I have learnt, I have not yet started practicing like I cannot totally let go and share this man with you. He is right now my precious secret and I think I'm gonna keep it that way. Forgive me. I'm also gonna take the liberty to not follow all my carefully thought out plans for this story. You see I was going to share with you, the pages, the lines and quotes that I carefully wrote down to reference to talk about (see pic below). My favorite(s) being "God dwells within you, as you", "To know God, you only need to renounce one thing – your sense of divison from God" "The Bhagvad Gita – says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. I was also gonna tell you about the nice waiters, they had internet over there (a very big distraction, as I kept tweeting), the kissing couple opposite me (I miss kissing, o so does Liz, she says so in her book), the set of cops at 2, 3 and 4am (only one female cop, hmmmmm!!!). I was gonna to tell you about how i hoped and prayed for 2s that my best friend didn't really need to go to the hospital, even though she said her tummy hurt bad. I also wanted to tell you about some of the characters in her book, David, her sis Catherine and Richard from Texas (def the best character yet); because of Richard from Texas I can now say "Nife, you have serious control issues". You see I say yet cos I couldn't finish. This btw is a very saddening thing to mention. You see I pride myself in my ability to speed read, I am excellent at this, and typically would finish a 334pg book in a lil over 2hrs, I am that good. But like I said I wanted to study this book and then there was twitter and there was music. You see Liz called her book "Eat, Pray, Love" mine would def have to be "Music, Pray, Love" I am tempted to add "Music, Dance, Pray, Love" as was evident because I literally danced the night away, stopping halfway in the middle of a line I was reading to burst into a dance or sing(quietly of course) to songs like Pope's Baale Baale, Sean kingston's Dutty Dutty, Wale's kini big deal and sometimes it was to listen quietly to the awesomeness that is Dj Klem's Six8Ten(please go cop this mixtape whatever you do), the loveliness that is Chrisette Michelle's voice and the best song ever in Keyisha Coles Someone Tell my heart.

I haven't dealt with the pray portion of this book as well, let's just say that I agree a 100% with my new found friend Liz, at the end of the day, however way, whatever way, find God, this is truly the only way to find true everlasting happiness and powerful love because if you have read this book you see that from beginning to end, this is a story about love, for self, for God and for others. 4:10am, I decided to leave IHOP, I could have stayed to finish it, afterall I'm still up, exactly 2hrs later and would have finished the less than 100 pages left, but BB would have my head and I would probably never be allowed to do it again. (Please lol at that and not think omg she has become one of those females who is submissive to someone she is not even married to). I took a nice cool shower, wrapped myself with my version of a sarong and I started on this post. Tonight was the best night of my life in recent days, there is something about inner happiness that you cannot hide, however you find yours, mine was from reading a book, not just any book, a book that I could imagine myself totally writing, kinda like this post, but that spoke/is speaking so much truth, that no one else has been able to impress upon me, and somehow she makes me want to be closer to God more than any pastor has been able to. I should add that I want to travel so much more now than I ever wanted to (na money kill am, truly).

Its 6.30am. I shall now go sleep. J

















P.S I Love YOU

Monday, August 9, 2010

#MM - It’s a new day

I'm bizzzzaaaaccckkkk, wicky wicky what? Ok that was just so lame. Lol.

Hi guys, I'm back, not going anywhere anytime soon (I hope). You see I have come to a couple realizations, this past couple weeks and please allow me to share them with you.

I realize that in some ways, I am stronger than I thought I was and in some ways weaker and I am learning to accept that. I realize that I can only do so much; at the end of the day if it's not in God's will my effort will be ultimately futile. You see he has a bigger picture, and sometimes he will make your plans seem ok, and even allow those doors open up for you and bring you perceived success and just then he will let his plans for you start to take effect, but because you see it wasn't part of your plans, it seems like everything is crumbling at your feet and that is not the case. In retrospect and I don't exactly know when that will be for me, my testimony will be more than I could ever dream of. I realize that I am still a baby Christian and I need to grow spiritually, I have only been doing the bare minimum and my God deserves my maximum best. I realize that I'm very stubborn and independent but I'll be damned if I let anyone make me believe that this is a flaw. To be honest I am tired of people telling me "I will tell you I said so in the future" or "I was the same way when I was your age and things will change". Yes I am very set in my ways and maybe I should loosen up, but if it's not who I am, please allow me be, I am ok with being a "prude", if you ask me I'm never going to change, but if I'm perfectly ok with that, shouldn't you be too. I also realized that I'm ok doing the most for those I love, I am ok going above and beyond, it doesn't make me stupid, it makes you stupid if you try to take advantage of that and not cherish it, cos if there is anything you should know about me I am quick to remove my emotions out of the equation. "How I feel is only going to change if you let it?" – Brandy. But I can't lie, loving is taxing, whew!! like seriously, I think loving someone can kill, and I'm not talking only about a S/O, I'm talking friends and family, that is if you are anything like me sha. I swear this is why I don't have a lot of friends, because I invest way too much in my friend's the same as my family. I realize that I am afraid to say "I love you, or I'm in love with you" to him. I have a theory I won't be saying it till the day I get married. Thing is I can't figure out why I can't say the words. I feel it/ think it and I damn well show it so why can't I say it. Clearly I have issues. Lol.

I also realize that I have so much to be grateful for. Oyinbo (the lil sis) is here, I'm so grateful for that, but it does increase my stress levels. Which by the way reminds me, I'm not sure how some people can even be fat, considering their stress levels, (This is a very ignorant statement btw, allow me). I have lost so much weight over the past couple weeks it's ridiculous, if BB were here he will force feed me. Can I still complain and say my arms look big, how do I reduce those? The thing with Oyinbo being here though is that it leaves only Bold & Beautiful in 9ja and I feel sick to my tummy at the realization, but we had a plan you know, to practice Law in Nigeria she had to study in Naij or Jand, but she got in Naij without no stress and there is no fam in Jand, so we made the best decision, but it doesn't change how guilty I feel and how mad I am at myself for not working and having money so I can take care of all her needs and more. Yes I am one of those I have to take care of the whole world kind folks. I realize that although I am not working presently, I have one year of experience under my belt, that is more than half of the people have in my graduating class. I don't say that to boast, at least if I am it's of Gods greatness. This past year I have lived rent free, all housing needs (food, water, electricity, laundry) everything free (p.s you all cannot possibly have the kind of best friend/partner I have, not sure how I would have survived without her, thank you so much Oye). I made new friends, met my in-laws to be (inside joke) actually I owe my meeting BB to being in Houston, got a chance to meet the best nephew ever and the rest of my lovely family over here. As I speak it looks like my brother just got a job, a good one too (so proud of him), he can like to start taking care of meJ. Nways my point in this whole story, I am back, I am happy, I am grateful, I am expectant, I am loved and I am in love, I am strong, I am weak, I am independent, I am a survivor, I will be successful, I will persevere, I will make it, I am a child of God, I am a winner.

Ok enough with the jargon, in other random news, I love long distance, I suspect my marriage will be a long distance one at least for a while, but do you know what I miss the most lip action; I really miss kissing, the most. It's really the most intimate experience if u ask me. I really look forward to kissing my man every morning (after we have both brushed lol) and every night. Today I am going to go buy eat, pray, love, my first book this year, I haven't read a book cover to cover in 8months (don't ask). I would have loved to try my hands at some new things, dance lessons, yoga, art classes, pottery classes, cooking classes, camping but those things require money and can't seem to find any free ones in Houston, maybe when I move, this is why I was really excited about moving to Connecticut so I could go to NY every weekend and find these things to do. (I will someday explain what happened btw, hopefully it will be in the course giving my testimony). I should really take learning Spanish more seriously, please tell me to focus folks; it would be awesome for my resume, plus I should find free public health courses online. Nways lets do some music, there is so much to talk about though, I really need to talk about that joke of a report the National Bureau of Statistics put out in Naija, my take on Wycelf running for presidency, my ideas on what we can do for Naija, and the fact that American football season is around the corner and that soccer is back, juvenile twitter wars, gbagaunmopol and anti gbagaunmopol and the state of the Nigerian music industry and how Nigerians treat their artists, Just some of the things on my mind. I will get to them all in due time.

Team Chris Breezy All day - loved what he did with this

Marsha Ambrosious - I hope she cheats on you - She is one half of the group Floetry. Funny enough i never really listened to the lyrics cos i heard this song months back.. when she goes "i hope that she kim kardashianed her way up" #DEAD

Calvin Richardson - You are so amazing - they dont make r n b music like this anymore, love it

Usher ft Sean Garrett - Mayday - this is a freaking jam, Timbaland is still one of the best producers out there

Usher ft Jay Z - Hot tottie/toddy - Usher is on fire though

Donnell Jones - Love like this - awwwwww Mr Jones still got it, i love it

P.S I love you, thanks for all the prayers