Thursday, July 28, 2011

2am Musings

Y'ellloooo folks. What it do? I woke up from an ill advised nap with a migraine. Excedrin to the rescue as usual but the caffeine content in it always keeps me up. So allow me to enthrall you with the contents of my brain, and hopefully afterwards I can get some shut eye.

Work ends this friday for me. It was just three months but I thank God so much for it. I have payed off last semester's school and now I can register for next semester. I was able to pay off some bills and all that, so I'm really glad. The bad part is you never get a chance to save and now August looms ahead with all the bills and things and its hard not to be afraid, not to worry and to trust God and not be depressed. Someone asked me how I stayed positive, not sure what my answer was but lately for me I sleep(I swear I'm averaging eight hours now) and I wake up remembering that God's mercy is renewed to us every morning.

I often wonder if that was one of Bb's reason for jetting, he didn't want the fnancial burden in his life. I would not blame him.

It was my mother's birthday on tuesday, she turned 51. I thank God everyday for her life and I'm truly blessed to be her daughter. The woman is also simply just gorgeous and I'm actively looking for a man for her.

I am going to buy myself a gorgeous ring when I can afford it. I'm sorry but I cannot deal with the incessant questions.

Ok,the android is kinda annoying to blog with. Ha,this reminds me of something I complained about somewhile back. I want to call it the showoff statement. For example, person sends an email and then goes "ps. Sorry if there are any spelling errors I'm still learning how to use my ipad 2". It makes me laugh and I see it a lot too. With that said now transferring to blackberry. I knew there was a reason for keeping this phone other than bbm. Lol

So how about Don jazzy and the 2k incentive? Anyone of them worth listening to? I'm not a fan of Don Jazzy/ D'banj but I can dig the movement definitely.

So in a way I'm impressed that Wizkid dropped out of school to follow his dreams(Still not sure if this is isn't a rumor, but I'm no longer connected to these things). I think its great that he believes in himself enough to put all the cards on the table and run with it. Still I am such a big propenent for education and I'm kinda mad at his crew for encouraging it.

I love that EME boy - Skales (without question his biggest fan) but my love will cease the day I hear he dropped out of school. Is that cos I don't think he's awesome and so should get an education? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I think he's mega talented and given the right push and backing will head straight to the grammys but I think he can do that and get his education. Some of my most talented friends and artists I work with like Klem, Senavoe, Konnect, Sugarking (forgive the name dropping) all have degrees, infact two of them have masters.

So my interview went well and I hope to hear good news next week. Could really do with some goood news.Thanks for the prayer and support guys.

I honestly don't get it, but I desperately want a baby. I have rationalized (I'm an expert at this btw) that this is because I desperately need to give this love I feel to someone who will reciporocate in kind and give just as much and more the way only a child can give, innocent in all its ways. Thankfully it can't happen, but still I am so ashamed of myself for feeling this way.

Someone called me attention seeking and that really upset and hurt me. It made me wonder if I'm doing all this (blogging) for that. Is it the way I dress, what I tweet or make my bbm status? Have I unconsciously been seeking and living for attention. I hate to think that's me, I hate to think I'm judged in a bad way by others because as foolish as it sounds I pride myself on being as good as possible (whatever that means) and its the only way I want to be seen. I know, I know everyone is going to have their opinion of you good or bad but still I want to know, is it true and if it is, I need to change it. I confess to seeking attention from bb, but I thought that was part of liking someone but from others I don't know.

So about this vintage/thrift shopping.I need to get on that movement asap. The issue is that I hate shopping in of itself. Hoping I get this job and then ill be forced to cos I have no good work clothes.

My brother could easily have been the first born, although I don't think I've done such a bad job of it.

My baby sister aka bold and beautiful is done with her 4th year pre-law next week. She's 19. I am so immensely proud of her and very jealous too.

O so do you think I should change the name of the blog? Diary of an unpaid-intern isn't exactly true any more is it? Although I couldn't even think of any other name but I thought ill mention it to you guys. Its as much mines as it is yours.

Ok let me try, reading a book till I fall asleep. Will put up the 3rd part of the story unfaillingly this weekend. E ma binu. I have to do my weplug posts first before Ayo kills me. Ayo btw, I love you and I know everything will work out. God will definitely turn our lives around.

P.S I Love you

10 comments:

  1. I think wizkid is kinda silly for dropping out oh. Yay on your interview, fingers crossed for you. And yeah, God is good oh, for real

    Adiya
    Muse Origins (Creative Nigerian Features)
    Muse Origins

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  2. --People always have an opinion jor, don't let it bother you that someone said you are attention seeking, just find peace in yourself.
    on wizkid--Hummm.. I don't know how I feel. On your blog name; I don't think you should change it, it's kind of a mark of where you have been. Good luck with the job thingy.

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  3. As long as you love yourself, and what you're about...that's all that matters. Don't pay too much attention to what others think of you, unless it's something you think you can change or something worth changing. The only one you should try to please is God and yourself.

    Congratulations to your sister. That's a great achievement.

    On the other hand, I hope the interview went well...and I pray that you find favor. Amen!

    Take care...and keep writing! :)

    http://foreversweetlybroken.blogspot.com/

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  4. Have I told u hw much I luv and respect ur openness and the way u freely express ur thoughts! I wish I cld do same.

    Praying that you get good news soon too!!!!

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  5. Chei...you just bombard me with all theese randoms that I dont even know where to start from. Provided you are not siphoning people's attention without giving anything in return, we all are allowed to have needs!
    The reason I say this is that I have a(n ex) friend who is unanimously a needy person. she wants to be everyone's closest friend and confidant yet doesnt wanna talk about herself. She is also extremely sensitive and doesnt extend such courtesy to others. We have problem not with her sensitivity or her need for love but for her sense of reciprocating it. We all sometimes feel like she just takes us for granted.

    As for wanting to have a baby. Let me tell you what I have seen. If u have a baby only because you think they will reciprocate yoour love equally and innocently, you may be disappointed!
    One of my sisters got kind of sad when her 15month old came to spend the weekend with Ngor and I and never once requested for her Ma. In fact, she called both of us "Mama" throughout the weekend. It is a simple and seemingly innocuous story but I know the mother felt funny about it all.

    Cant wait to hear your testimonies soonest!


    HoneyDame
    honeydame1.blogspot.com

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  6. Nahhh,don't touch that blog name. It's witty,and a sorta land mark for where you've been...All the bestest best with the interview feedback. And nahhh,don't think you're an attention hug/hogg:-)Besyds we all thrive on a lil bit of attention.
    *I like that-go to bed on the problem,and receive fresh grace when you wake?*
    xxx

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  7. Live your live and don't worry too much what people say, they will always talk, good or bad. And I'm still waiting for the story.

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  8. Why are you impressed with Wizkid dropping out and following his dreams but will be upset about Skales if he does?

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  9. Okay, with the recent suicides, I am actually annoyed at whoever called you attention-seeking. It is better that you talk to us about it than to stay in your room, get ideas, feel alone and off yourself. Please talk away. Your stories actually challenge and strengthen some of us in our faith. And it's not like when something good happens, you don't share. Don't change *hug*

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  10. @Muse - Thank you dear and yes he is.

    @9jafoodie -Thank you, will do. And i'm not changing it. Thank you :)

    @Sweetly Broken - Great advice dear. Thank you very much and AMEN.

    @Miss Enigma - Yes, every-time and i really really appreciate it. I love you dear and Amen.

    @Honey Dame - Yea i can see how that will be a problem, definitely. and lol, your story cracked me up, i can imagine how she felt. Thank you dear

    @T.Notes - Yes, sir :). Thank you dear

    @Myne - Thank you ma. Lol, i'm still writing o

    @Taynement - I think its daring for him to do that, but i don;t have a personal love for him as i do Skales and i won't want my child/brother to drop out. Double standard.

    @Etoile - Lol, i promise to not kill myself. Thank you dear. Hugs right back

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