Friday, February 25, 2011

As seen on tumblr

Yesterday, i couldn't think of Praise Thursday.... I have things to be grateful for but so many things are currently overshadowing that.... Added to financial issues is now immigration issues, add that to not being able to connect to God, can't pray, can't sing, can't read my bible, can't focus my mind on him for more than two seconds, and i'm frustrated all over again. I was sure i won't be in this position this year again and i'm just irritated but somehow i have been able to smile, and i'm happy(well relatively) so i know i have a lot to be grateful for. I just don't feel "gratefuly" at the moment. Nways i saw this on my tumblr and i thot i will share.












"Sometimes we complain about the cross we bear not realizing that it’s preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot…"


I thought this was a powerful message, i still was not able to pick up my Bible or sing or anything but i know i'll get back there. Hopefully sooner than later. God Bless, have a blessed weekend.


P.S I LOVE YOU



Monday, February 21, 2011

In Rememberance

Exactly a year today, we lost a friend. She was just 22. I remember asking Oye (my best friend) if she had ever had sex. I know it seems silly, but i was just thinking about the fact that she is going to miss so much in life, cos she was so young and was just beginning to start her journey you know. Like the story of this girl in the UK, who collapsed and died after her first kiss.

That was my rationale for having sex for the first time btw, i was sure i was going to go to hell for it, but i reasoned that life was too short and i might die tomorrow and i needed to experience it (kinda sucked). Or that i will go and wait till i get married and then said man will go and cheat on me and give me AIDS. Like you don't already know my sense of thinking is entirely warped.

In any case, its been one hell of a year since that day. It was through her sister i met BB a couple days later. I left Houston, went back to Michigan, i'm now in Jersey. Her other sister is engaged to be married. And everybody's just grown. A lot changes in a year, shu a lot changes in a day, but we thank God for life. She is missed, and i just pray God continues to help her family with this loss. I pray that Lord keep me and mines and you and yours. No more sorrow this year for us in Jesus Name. Amen.

In much lighter news, i mentioned it will be a year on Wednesday that i met BB. We have this running argument of who made the first move. He argues it was me, cos i asked for his twitter handle that day. I argue it was him about a month later when he asked for my bb pin and then my number and proceeded to buzz everyday since. I don't think we have gone a day without some form of communication since. The beginning days are always the best, those were good times. Lol.

I went out on Thursday for this event and it was quite awesome. Young professionals all looking GQ/Cosmo ready and doing quite well for themselves. 10% of all the profits made was going to some African country or the other and there were a number of different nationalities represented as well. I was quite impressed and i made a couple new contacts and thats quite needed in this day and age. Shoutout to Nogobelieve and A Drop Of Water for being my hosts, i had a good time, thanks a lot guys. I wore orange, and everybody else like wore black, grey, u know and so i stood out like a decoration of some sort, but it wasn't too too bad.

So i swear by Lusters toothpaste and Paula's choice brighten up teeth whitener. Coffee addict, plus just not caring when i was younger and my dentition was beginning to embarrass me. Will still whiten it professionally when i can afford to but i swear by these, they work.
O so i found someone who would be my adventure partner, he's already done it all (bungee jumping, skydiving etc) and so he will do those again with me and we will do the rest together like Para-sailing, drive a motorcycle, and when i have money i'm going to learn how to fly a single engine plane. I tell BB this and he goes "you just think you are going to do all this". Lmao. He had said this before but i thot he was just joking, this is my biggest supporter in everything but apparently not this. Ladies and Gentlemen i am glad i am not married, because i will do all these things and just show him the video and that's that about that. Can you imagine?

That's it. I have an exam in a few, i haven't studied for. I had a headache for the past three days, it was very painful. Enjoy the songs and have a blessed week. Please be safe.

Miguel - Sure Thing


Adele - Love Song


Keyshia Cole - Take Me Away


Naeto C - 5 and 6


P.S I LOVE YOU

Friday, February 18, 2011

Praise Thursday

Deitrick Haddon - Forgiven

Brandon Heath - Love Never Fails

Hi Guys,
Sorry its late again, i promise to do better. Both songs speak to where i am spiritually. I am really tired of loosing touch with God every so often, but i guess it just shows i am not spiritual there yet like i imagine Paul would tell me and i'm grateful to him for constantly forgiving me. But on the flip side, i see and feel his love for me, especially when i don't feel in tune with him. Its so affected the way i understand people and my new attitude towards loving people in my different relationships, in this few days of the year already. 

Shout-out to Miss Myne - May God Bless You. Thank you soo much.
Thank you for all the prayers and kind words guys, wishing you a love-filled weekend.

P.S I LOVE YOU

Monday, February 14, 2011

Single Awareness Day

Hello everybody,

Happy single awareness day. Okkk, i really shouldn't be like that. I did get val'd this year albeit early but i loved it. I was actually surprised, you see we are both not emotional/romantic people (part of the reason why i can't, won't say i love you) plus we didn't even talk about it at all. The last time we talked about gifts (my birthday) i gave him a $50 budget and he damn near died trying to figure out what he was going to get me (my best-friend had fun with this, lol). In any case, he totally went over the budget, hence not talking to me about it and he put some thought into it by getting me something practical that i love (courtesy my best-friend again, thanks babe). Thanks sweets, even though you do not read this.

On the romantic side tho my darling friend (he has a gf, i promise, lol) sent me roses and chocolates. Even though i'm not a fan of either, i love that he did that for me, it made me feel like a girl for a minute, i blushed (yes i turn red) for the longest time. Thanks again Femi, i appreciate you and you rock eternally. And all my male friends with the sweet valentine's day bbm's, i couldn't thank you enough (you actually made me cry).

Got back from Michigan today, it was great seeing my siblings. Love them too much and love our relationships. My sister made pancakes for me with sprinkled cinnamon sugar, so delicious.  Again i feel like i'm missing out so much on my sister in Naij and we will never be as close (i hope not) and it makes me sad. My sister got 7 vaccinations and did not flinch, i got 4 and cried.

I think the way i interact with my siblings, especially my brother, explains how i am with everyone, especially guys. So is it only with me that guys who like me have great relationships with my sisters but hardly talk to my brother and are in some kind of awe of him? Like BB and my lil sister have a special relationship, they are in love with each other( they BBM, skype and all). BB won't say hi to my bro (my bro said happy birthday to him on his bday), but will ask about him and i think its always been like that in all my relationships.

I loved the Grammy's. I love music and i like that there was an array of genre's and talent displayed on stage. O i damn near cried when they started singing Jolene, i really wished Dolly Parton will come show them how its done. Will be sharing Esperanza Spalding's songs today(congrats to her on the win, tres deserving), i think its funny that people get extra worked up about the silliest things. O well, learning to ignore a lot of things lately. O so on that tiwa savage debacle, i have an opinion. She was right, as part of the writer of an album, you get a mention even if you wrote only one line. By your name it will show that you were a song writer on the album and it (song/album) was nominated or won. (See The Dreams wiki page for example). You are however still not a Grammy nominee and or winner. And not just that, if she went about it all humble like "I'm so proud to be part of a Grammy nominated album and i hope Fantasia wins cos she deserves it", i think the reception would have been awesome but o well, not impressed.

No class today, my prof cancelled. Yaaayyy me, i should go into school though, because i don't study as well as i want to at home, not sure why, the only place i was able to read prior was home. O so i like Naeto C's album, its a solid album from top to bottom. Only Banky W, Asa and Tuface(barely) have made solid albums in recent times in my opinion. MI's album seems like child play in comparison, i was surprised and happy for Naeto. O so i was able to upgrade my phone for free, thank you T-mobile. Spirit airlines made me pay 30 bucks (twice) for my carry on bag, can u imagine? I should have just gone with southwest, the difference in pay was not up to 60bucks and all your bags are free. Was so pissed, me that i had 0dollars, i was now scrambling to get someone to put money into my account.

O well i think that's about it, in general i am happy and content, things could be better all around, but i'm still grateful for what i have, even the things that don't make sense.

Fall In


I know that you know


Precious


Happy Val's day if its your thing. Could care less really, glad its about to be over in a few. If it's not, enjoy still. Have a great week all together, guys. I wish you all the love you deserve.

P.S I LOVE YOU

Friday, February 11, 2011

Praise Thursday

Hi Guys,

Sorry this is coming late. Just took me a minute to gather my thoughts. So like i said in my last post(thanks so much for the comments btw, will respond to every comment asap) i want to share the message i heard in church on Sun together with what my aunt heard in her church on Sunday, that happened to correlate.

First of let me tell you that Brooklyn Tabernacle is HUGE, when we first got in the first thot that came to mind was "this is a zoo, God forgive me" but by the time everybody settled and the choir starts i was in awe. Nways the message was titled "The witch is Back" based on 1 Samuel 28:3-7.

The witch as the Pastor describes is that battle in your life that keeps trying to rear its ugly head over and over again. In Saul's case it was fear of the philistines, so much so that even after he expelled all the witches and medium, he still went seeking for one again because the Lord did not answer him (in my opinion, in time for him). He said that stuff, what you battle with that is will always want to come back, especially when you think you have let it go. He told a story of a new convert who told him that God told him, he will never have any problems in his life. Pastor said he laughed and told him that's why you are new convert. He said, as a Christian you will have battles, its like even more when you are Christian.

Why?

Cos Battles tell more about us than church worship services. Cos he said if it was all about Church we would all be well and good, but we have to deal with wicked bosses on Monday mornings, or even before that a wicked wife or husband. He said that "always remember that just because a battle is won, doesn't mean a battle is gone". E.g. a recovered alcoholic for a long time, has to battle with his demons every time he walks into a store and sees liquor. He then goes on to say that in the verse where it says "No weapon formed against you shall prosper" it shows that the devil specially forms the battle against you, cos he knows what gets you, what is that particular thing that will destroy you. He said Battles are not sinful, its what you do with the battle that is sinful, because the Lord did say you will prosper, you can overcome, because he won't give you anything that you cannot bear.

And this was where it clicked for me. In Mark 6:35-44, God fed five thousand in the presence of his disciples. In Mark 8:1-4, just two chapters later, when God wants to feed the multitude, the disciples again ask him, "how can we do this"? Not "o yes, just two chapters ago we saw you perform this miracle so we even know u can do with one bread and one fish". He rounded up by saying that the guy who made the cleaner "formula 409" called it that cos it 409 tries to get the formula right and he hoped that we got it right with God, knowing to trust him completely in much less time (single digit numbers preferably. Thank you Jesus in Advance).

At my aunts church, the Pastor talked about not putting a face to our battles. Because instead of dealing with the issue and focusing on that with God, we are constantly battling the "face". An example for me will be that right now, i have a face for my financial & relationship issues. This person just seems to be able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, gets all the latest gadgets, this person requests and gets, new job, new car, trips every so often, has traveled the globe + relationship stability and its like God, why are you putting this in my face? I have never thought myself to be a jealous/envious person and for me this battle is more than just that, its that things are falling in places for this person, this person seems lucky and i am not.

So moral of the story: There will be battles, don't put a face to it and trust in the Lord Almighty that he will help us every single of the way and that we shall overcome. That even against our desires and will because we have become so comfortable with our battles, we think its our right and part of our life so we should just contend with, that God Almighty will lift us up and rescue us and change our every situation in Jesus Name.

It was a powerful message, i needed it. And i hope that it touches you too.

P.S I LOVE YOU

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Based on Conversations

Hi guys, this is just a short post cos i want to know how everybody thinks and find out if i really am just extra special.

The other day i asked you guys, if anyone else got asked questions about what they said or wrote. Nobody answered, so this is another opportunity for you to please do that.

So today i'm talking to my friend Femi, telling him i had no suitors and that it was even so bad that a friend on bbm saw my status which reads "walking in love" and he said "i see that you are now finally in love or at least talking about love. Finally, Thank God, whew". and i was telling him how this is not the first person to say something akin to that. I go on to say that i don't like that I've gotten people worried about me (esp when it comes to relationships) and that maybe I've been giving the wrong impressions like there is an icebox where my heart used to be.

I then go, that's so not me cos i am the most loving person i know. He goes "you are one of those people with sooooooooooooo much love to give but does not show it" I respond with "i don't believe i have soooooooooooooo much love to give, i believe i have adequate love to give. He then proceeds to call me a contradiction (not the first time this has been said to me) Which brings me to my story.

Random fact about me: I rationalize everything, i think it a million times, before i say it out loud, before i tweet or blog it. I am very conscious about perceptions, like i understand that people are free to form their opinions just like that, but i like to present myself in a good way as much as possible. Like i try to not come off as proud, or pitiful, or stupid, occasionally i shoot myself in the foot and just say things without thinking but for the most part this is me. So i guess my question is does anybody else do this?

Part two is that "I say everything with strong convictions": This is true, apart from the moments when i shoot myself in the foot, i do not believe in uttering things i do not believe in. If i say it, its cos that how i understand it, see it, and i believe in it. Now there are times when i tweet/say something i would think people would just say "this girl is silly" "she is a joker" like me saying today i want Tuface's kids. If he were the last man on earth i wouldn't want his kids, tho i think he is fine but more than that i personally have issues with dating a man with kids, no matter the circumstances. But i have supported friends, family members who have done that, even marrying the man. This is cos what works for the goose does not work for the gander. Contradiction

Which brings me to part 3; I have double standards on a lot of things and i am not afraid to say that. I have a gay friend and he is awesome and cute,yet i do not believe that i will accept it coming from my family member, or God forbid my kid. Another example is i say that once a guy cheats on me i will leave. With my ex i did just that, i left, no questions. With BB, the truth is i'm not sure i can leave, even if i want to and it will be easy to come up with excuses too "we are not official" "we are not having sex" " "i've seen it still work for other couples, like it works in the movies" You and i both know i'm deceiving myself, but i will be lying if i told u, i will walk out without looking back, just like that. I tend to address every situation differently, cos i think every situation is peculiar. If you asked me there is no reason you shouldn't be official with someone you like after 6-8months, and its been over a year for me now. Contradiction

So in point, i guess i can be a contradiction, but i am coming to realize for one, i say/look at things how i think it should happen in  the my ideal world. The world is not ideal and unfortunately for me as a control freak, i cannot control everything, if i could, i surely would. So maybe i will change my mouth a couple times and thats ok. Also add my life experiences and my moral convictions to it, its ok for life to be a lil unique in my eyes. I would like for people to understand me more, but i'm ok with people accepting me as i am.

So just thought i should share and hear what your take is. How do you view the world? what are ways in which you contradict yourself? Do you have double standards?

Also as an extra i saw a tweet which read "IMO The ten commandments can be bent". Now my first reaction to things like this is to say something like" that's why you are not a good Christian or something"  (i'm very judgmental, sorry, i'm working on it) but i also know that i have to be able to hear where that person is coming from and since i couldn't ask said person(don't follow him/her, just seen it as a RT). Want to know if any of you have the same opinion and why? I do not personally think any of the commandments can be and should be bent.

Ok that's it.

P.S I LOVE YOU

Monday, February 7, 2011

Recap!!

Hello guys!!! How are you? Hope you all had a good weekend. I've missed you guys sha, I've been wanting to write, but I've either been busy or just too lazy. Forgive me. I did promise to start Music Mondays & Praise Thursdays back and i'm keeping my promise starting today and not last week like i had said. :)

So brief recap on all that has been going on in my life. Real quick tho, hi to all the new readers, its really good to see you all and pls drop a line or two so i know who you are and all those who have been old readers but just commenting for the first time i really appreciate it.

So i'm not a morning person, i just can't seem to get my body up and working early in the morning, it takes me a minute. Which is not working well right now for me with school. Ehen so guys, i've decided that my case is special. Was it not me crying my eyes out about school? this same me has been complaining non-stop since i started school. Me that i've been shouting "God i need a job" i'm barely catching up with school work as it is and i have so much free time, so if i was working nko? I think God is just there laughing at me thinking "baby yi o gather" (translation: this girl is not serious). But in my defense i do believe if i was working, the pressure of that and knowing i still had to do well in school, will motivate me to do better.

I had fun this weekend guys, i'm trying not to think and worry about spending money i don't have in the first place, but i also understood that if i don't take the opportunities i'm given, i will have regrets and be bitter that i did not enjoy my youth. So i went to Madame Tussuad's and i took tons of pics, which i haven't done in a while, i was a character, lol. Then we went to the Brooklyn Museum, every first Saturday of the month apparently they have free events all day and it was so uber cool and packed. They had an African -american music night and for the two hours i was there i danced my butt off and it was sooooo hot, i stripped to my tank top. Yep, right there, lol. It was really nice, tons of people Chinese, white, black, Indian i mean you name it, having fun. and it was free :)). I'm saying if you live in the NY/NJ area we can like to make it an event every month.

Went to church at the Brooklyn Tabernacle, and it was an awesome experience, if you are ever in the NY area, i strongly suggest you attend a service. Apparently, the choir has won 6 Grammy's as well, kinda cool but the message was awesome, and i don't want to say thats how it always is but based on yday, if i could i would go there every Sun, that message was indeed for me and i will be sharing it on Thursday and if i get some money will buy the cd too. Watched the game with my friend Kunle and his sisters and that was nice. So it seems that i always pick the losing team/person, i pray that this is not saying anything about my life o. God please.

Other than that i'm doing ok, school is going well, this biostatistics class that wants to do me in, i'm praying seriously about. I just don't like statistics jo.  I have my first quiz today. Found a way to never have to buy books (interlibrary loan, ask your librarian). Trying to make friends at school, at least acquaintances sha. Imma skip the boy part bit, but no worries. My aunt and uncle are still very nice, still doing well on the healthy eating and exercising part, although i'm still shrinking sha. Going to Michigan on Thursday, vaccinations for myself and my sis. I think thats about it guys. LivinglifelikeitsGolden, let me have your email please, so we can meet. Have a couple songs to share, i hope you like and have a blessed week guys, loads of kisses.

Katherine McPhee - Lifetime


Ginuwine - Heaven


Pink - Perfect


James Blake - The Wilhelm Scream


P.S I LOVE YOU
Neefemi