Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Update

Hello everybody, its been so long its not even right. I definitely need to be spanked (no dirty thoughts now). How are you all doing though? I hope the start of your summer has been great. It appears that it might be the hottest summer we have had yet even though it started off late. The plan is for me to be naked as much as possible, lol, not literally but you know what I mean.

So ehen, no one participated in my 200th post giveaway. Its ok, I used my amazon gift card to buy myself a nice leather bound cover for my kindle. Thank you very much. Can you guys believe that we are in June already? Time flies yo, its really worth praising God for, I don’t care what you have been going through. Which reminds me I am still looking for a place in Jersey guys, if any of you know someone around this part I will really appreciate it. Babe is living in her car men and its not a good look.

Which again reminds me do you really believe people are out to get you, and don’t want to see you prosper and are happy when you are sad? or am I really that na├»ve? or are Nigerians really paranoid. I got so much grief for writing about the eviction (I had to take it off). My one guy friend was told by a girl he’s talking to and apparently she was running her mouth. The thing is I don’t even care for me I feel like by me saying all the bad, no one can use it over me and it doesn’t hurt me anymore than if I didn’t share but I got tired of people disturbing me about it. I think it’s a sad world though when people constantly say don’t trust anyone and people want to hurt you or are happy when you hurt. A really sad world.

So guys I think I have a special case of self esteem issues as evident by how high I was on compliments and attention this weekend. I have come to the realization that I don’t see myself as good enough or fine enough or able enough. Makes sense since I really hate compliments and being told thank you. If you ask me this is probably linked to the constant lack that I feel but I am yet to diagnose it completely when I do, I’ll let you know what’s going on. Lol.

So ehen, I got enough numbers this weekend and I was feeling like a hot cake with myself. I still got it guys Smile. Plus my butt grew again. hehehe. Got dude talking about he’s following me home from dancing. With that said I am dead serious when I say that I won’t be looking for a Nigerian again. Just not happening, which means I need to put myself out there so I can meet a really nice white guy or non- African sha. This world is way too small for me.

So I am selling tickets to the EME concert in DC on the 24th and its cheaper than if you bought it online so hit me up if you are interested. Lol, walahi I should just quit school and do this hustle full time. I still think I am going to get this degree and leave it to be in the music industry. My poor mother, lol.

Omg there are these two devilish looking black cats staring at me right now. I’m about to run. I hate cats. Ehen where was i? Guys I tried weed for the 1st and LAST time ever yday. I can at least say I’ve tried but hian, its not for me. My throat was so parched, nothing could quench it till today. Ha explains why I haven’t eaten today.

I swear I had more interesting things to say, but I can’t remember as usual so this is just an update I guess to let you know I am thinking about you and I am grateful for your presence in my life. I am working on a story so as soon as it makes sense to me, I will share and I am also still reading and soonish will put up the list.

Till then keep the music playing, keep dancing and smiling.

P.S I love you muchos.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

28 things

Hi guys, how are you doing? I am done with school for the semester, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy me. I am so excited even though i am going to miss it. I wish i was part of the people graduating :(. I want to be done.  I had nowhere to go today after work, just sat in my car for two hours, reading a book.

Which brings me to my first complaint (for lack of a better term) of the day, all i dream about now is settling down. No, not as in getting married, that ship has sailed but i want a home guys. With parents being divorced, i was always either at mums or dads and then i moved here and i have moved every single year from one uncles house to a friends couch, to my own many places, to best friends couch, to my siblings place, to my aunts place and now to another friends (i'm rotating friends) couch.

One of the reasons i did not immediately move to naija, was just that. Not feeling like i had a home. Its ok for a 2-3week journey, but to move back and decide whose house i want to live in, i really can't deal. That's the only thing holding me back, to move back i need to have a place of my own. You know it makes sense to me now, why i said i would rather a man propose with a key to a house than a big ring. What am i going to use a ring for? i could care less, i need stability. I want a place, with a dog, and flowers and have my bed not just be on the floor but actually have headboards and a huge dresser with a mirror(i hate mirrors actually) but you get my point. I need a home. This cannot surely be life guys, all this constantly,wanting, needing and not getting. Sigh. I Smile.

So i'm 8 books into my goal to read a 100 books by the end of July. Which means i am behind a ton, but trust me i'll catch up. Still need more suggestions for books guys, greatly appreciated (which reminds me i need to respond to comments, forgive me my loves).

O guys, i went natural, i cannot afford to do my hair every week like i like to, plus im single again so no one cares.  It will be an interesting ride thats for sure, i have tried going natural two times prior and my hair is not normal, yes everybody says you can tame it and all that but trust me on this.

I think when people say "you'll be fine", sometimes its hard to see it as a good comment. At least for me it is. The best friend told me how to say this without hurting anyones feeling  but i cant remember, sha i think the phrase is inappropriate to console a person 99% of the time and should only be said when you are joking e.g. Person a: all these boys are chasing me, i don't know who to pick. Person b: laughs out loud, you'll be fine. O yea, the best friend reminded me she said what i am trying to say is that "it sounds like a non chalant response, even though it may not be what was meant".

Nways so i am currently putting together a list of all the things i want to do before i'm 28. I am not sure why 28, but it just seemed like the perfect age to do all my single things then decide what country i'm going to live in and by 30 adopt my baby/ies and live happily ever after. So i'm not done sha, but here are some of what i got (#random - i don't say sha when i speak o, but when i write i see it everywhere, lol).

  1. TRAVEL!! TRAVEL!!!! TRAVEL!!!!! Enough said
  2. Bull riding at a bar
  3. Learn to play tennis and golf
  4. Model on a runway for high profile fashion event
  5. Act in a movie - a good one
  6. Nude pictures - Classy, elegant and artistic
  7. Learn to play guitar & piano & drums.
  8. Learn French & Spanish
  9. Learn sign language
  10. Go Bungee jumping & para sailing, parachuting and a whole bunch of other daredevil stuff
  11. Learn to ride a power bike
  12. Learn to fly a single engine plane
  13. Own some kind of property somewhere in the world (maybe two).
  14. Drive at 150miles per hr in a mustang in Germany.
  15. Sex on an airplane ( just because everybody has done it jo)
  16. Hot air balloon date
  17. Go to Disney world ( yes i haven't been)
  18. Write a book, maybe two.
  19. Volunteer in many different ways.
  20. Run a marathon
  21. Own at least one of the expensive things i've ever desired. You know The coach, Herve Leger, Louboutins etc just because.
That's all i got for now, will let you know when i come up with the rest. None of them seem accomplish-able btw, but a girl can dream.

Ok as far as music, i have a lot to share sha, but will only share the one today. Enjoy

P.S I LOVE YOU :)

Saturday, May 7, 2011

My Favorite artist

Hi guys. How are you all doing? I hope better than me. Been ill for the past two weeks, but trying not to be a baby about it, like I usually am. I miss my mummy a lot.

I’ve been what I call functionally ill. Ill enough to still work (considering how much I’m getting paid, hell yeah I’m working, even if its at a very slow rate). I miss Houston, my best friend would bribe me and tell me she will pay me for the day, if I would just stay home and rest. Lol, I was getting paid less then sha, but maybe I should tell her Smile

There are three levels of migraine in my opinion

1. Can still watch TV – Just can’t laugh, scream, move fast.

2. Can’t watch TV – God please forgive me, I will never lie again, I will read my bible everyday, I’m soo sorry.

3. TV off, lights off, writhing in pain on floor/bed – God please take my life, this hurts, I want to cry but if I cry it will hurt more. God this is not fair o.

Thanks to Excedrin, my level 3 quickly went to back to a level 1 today, so once I’m done doing this, off to finish projects and exam and by next week Wednesday I’m done with school for the semester. WHOOP WHOOP.

Book Update – I am now on my 7th book. 93 books to go. I am determined to finish by July ?(30 days have September, April, June and November) – that just happened in my head-  July 31st.

My ex just called to say hi – I always wonder what exact memory of “us” they are reminiscing on when they reach out. I often think they are thinking about a conversation( all long distances) or some song I introduced them to (even if they didn’t like music when they met me, by the time we are through, they at least appreciate music). Which brings me to why I am here.

Over the last month (wow, its been a month. Time flies yo) I have been all emotions and I do not know how to express my emotions. I have no need for them really, so it irritates me that I even have them but alas, I am human and female. But that’s when my first love comes in, MUSIC. Btw, on my tombstone it should read “she loved music more than life itself” or some variation of that. Where was i?

Yes, I was saying even though writing helps, with writing I will have to identify what the emotion is so I can eloquently explain it. But with music (and I really want to say THANK YOU GOD for artists worldwide(good artists', that is)) I don’t have to understand what I’m feeling, I just let the song reach me at that place that I am, then it all makes sense. That which I can’t put a name on suddenly becomes clear (light bulb moment).

Songs that tell my story, better than I could ever have

Songs that make me spontaneously start dancing

Songs that make me tear up – one drop, right eye

Songs that make me tear up – multiple drops, both eyes

Songs that fill me with regret

Songs that make me sad

Songs that make me happy

Songs that make me joyous

Songs of praise and worship

Songs of gratefulness

Songs of appreciation

Songs that say I’m upset

Songs that say I’m angry

Songs that bring back awesome memories

Songs that bring on wistful smiles

Songs that proclaim the future

Songs that explain the past

Songs that do the begging for me

Songs that say FUCK YOU

Songs of loneliness

Songs of desire

Songs of need

Songs of passion

Songs of a time/place -  Ibadan, Lagos, Michigan, Ohio, Houston, Baltimore, Chicago, Indiana, Atlanta, Tennessee, Boston, Staten Island, New York, New Jersey, Windsor, Toronto, Hamilton, Ottawa, Montreal, London etc.…

Songs of Neefemi…..

I’m sure a lot of you can relate to what I’m saying. I want to know, what is that song that speaks to any of what I have described for you?

Which brings me to my topic, this is my 200th post guys. Isn’t that crazy? Shout-out to all the new guests. Yo Linda Ikeji, Bella Naija be very afraid. Lol, iKid. Thank you all so much for everything and to show my appreciation, I have a prize for the person who can tell me “who my favorite artist is”? If there are multiple winners, I will pick two randomly.

P.s For someone who has no intentions of getting married (we Oprahing this shit yo) I have a lot of wedding songs, I swear I find one everyday. My point is if you are planning your wedding and need help with music, hit me up. Congrats doll Smile

P.S.S I LOVE YOU.

Novacane for the pain

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Smiling

Hi guys, how are you all doing? Hope the rest of your week went great. I really ought to be sleeping but I can’t, too much on my mind I guess.
First off, thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate it. My siblings are fine and are all sorted, so I’m glad. My brother is mad at me, and even cut the phone on me(I find this act to be very rude btw, and im extremely upset at him) because apparently some people read my blog and decided to call him. I can’t blame him, I would be upset if any of my friends called me about this as well, even though its my own blog. Luckily, my friends know me well enough to not talk to me about it. I ask that if you read the blog and know my siblings, please don’t contact them. Its only fair, cos if they wanted to share, they will themselves.

Right now I’m in yet another friends house, cos like I said in passing in my last post, my new job is 2hours away from my place, with gas prices and my aunts place being 45 mins away from school, it all did not make sense. Its so uncomfortable, not sure the last time I’ve eaten solid food but I feel like I cannot complain cos at least I have a job now. God dey.

Again I wonder about God’s reasoning behind all this. By having people always have to bail us out from one situation or the other, isn’t that him sharing his glory with others? or by making us constantly chase money,doesn’t he care that it feels like its us worshipping another ‘god’. O well, I really do have a lot of questions when I get to heaven.

T.Notes said to me today that I have earned the right to give advice on life struggles, with all I have been through. I burst out laughing literally. Here are the three I gave him:
  • Smile – Always and constantly. Start by faking it if you have to, you won’t know when its permanent.
  • Pray and praise – even when you don’t feel like it, say a word at least, each day to God. He already knows it all anyways.
  • Be honest – with yourself, with those around you and with God. It gives you inner peace, when you are honest, especially with yourself, it might be ok to deceive the world, but it is a sin to deceive yourself.
Speaking of smiling, I was out yesterday (whoop whoop) for the first time since early Feb, it was a school black and white event, which was pretty fun, then went with a friend to a going away party. I’m not a fan of going to Nigerian functions that only want to play Nigerian songs, no offense but there is a whole world of good songs to dance to, can you put some diversity up in here? It was the first time I danced(read grinded) with another guy in over a year. Am I the only one who can’t/wont grind on a guy when they like someone else?

It reminded me of the fact that I could never take anybody I meet in a club serious. My last 3 ex ‘real’ boyfriends, I met on the dance floor and back in the days I could work it. Not so much now, its such a long thing men. I was also reminded that I don’t like getting hit on, its just so ewww. Guys thinking they are the shit, talking about you know you want it, dude are you crazy? ain’t nobody want your crazy ass. ain’t nobody told these dudes, I invented the word flirting/tease too. Mschewww. It was funny sha. The one guy was the camera man and he kept taking my pictures(in my mind I was beautiful too) and he got some really good shots.

Which reminds me, I need to date a photographer, be his muse for as long as we are together you know and then take some naked pictures and have it somewhere in his gallery. I can just see it now. lol.
I know, you all want to know the BB story, you have to get the book guys. I’m telling you, it will be quite a tale of love and hardship, and the inside world of our music industry and loads of gist on people you know. Lol, never mind that I haven’t yet put pen to paper o.But I digress.

Yea, BB made a decision that he thought was best for him and I have to respect that. There was no fight or anything like that, it was a very calm talk, i listened mostly, said my piece and that was that. I am in love with that boy, that’s not going to change anytime soon and not sure if it ever will, but I’m going to have to move on and I wish him the best and I pray that all his heart desires come through (still pray for hum everyday too) and most importantly that he be happy. So that’s that about that, it’s the end of yet another chapter in the story of my life.

So I’m on a mission to read a 100 books before the end of July, please recommend books for me. Also *cough cough* I need amazon gift cards. Lol. I have the kindle and I want to get all the books on there and that shit ain’t cheap. So far I have read ‘Water for Elephants’ and ‘Something Blue’. I am currently reading pride and prejudice cos I just believe there are some books you ought to read as part of life e.g Things fall apart or Oliver Twist. You are just supposed to have read them at some point in your life, even if you don’t like reading.

Ok finally sleepy, goodnight guys.

P.S I love you and thank you all for everything