Thursday, February 23, 2012

Writing 101

As you all know, i'm a budding writer and i've been working to make Blithed Roses a book worth reading. I came across this today, and i thought it might be helpful for all hopeful writers like me.

P.S I Love You

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Praise Wednesday - Old Gospel

Today on Praise Wednesday, i just want to share with you some old gospel songs that you might have not heard in a while and as my sister found out last week, might not know...

Lionel Peterson - Jehovah Knows


Boundless Love - Women of Faith

It's alright send me - Winan Brothers

 Kirk Franklin - Our God is an awesome God

God Bless and have a great rest of the week
 - Bold and Beautiful.

P.S I Love You

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I have no title post

..... Couldn't for the life of me think of what to name the post. My brain is currently in a fog. Too much going on right now, most important of which is my paper due in less than a month now, that i still haven't done much for. Hello sleepless night. Let's begin shall we...

I hate the smell of fried fish. And this especially sucks with a roommate that seems to hate meat and love fried fish and my room is closer to the kitchen. How do i get rid of the smell on my clothes? I swear the smell doesn't seem to leave this house for like a week. I really need a place of my own dear God.

So one of my closest friends sent me flowers and chocolates and a teddy bear for Vals. Was too shocked and it made me cry. Meet Mc-Dreamy :-)

Which brings me to my next point. Everybody i tell about this, have this argument that he wants to get in my pants or according to Pastor, i should open my mind cos he could be the "one". He is not the "one", i am positive of that, we are very great friends, i love him like my brother and he takes care of me like the sister he doesn't have and treats all my family as such, mumsy even knows him, as his mom knows me. I know (via personal experience) that most girls that are best friends with a guy are secretly in love with him and vice versa but i have been truly lucky to have some guy friends that are brothers to me, nothing more, nothing else. We've been through hell together, i know their sordid details as they know mine and we genuinely love each other. Nways they (my male friends) those that want to enter my pants and those that don't made vals day special for me, with heartfelt greetings.

Re: friend that got me flowers et al, his prayer for me when i called him to thank him was "Next year, it will be your husband doing this for you". I said Amen :)

He also has told me that i'm not even allowed to kiss, while not dating this year. :-( I like kissing

Speaking of - Did you know that March 14, was the vals day for guys? I heard that in America, even though its unofficial, Feb 14th is for the ladies and then March 14th is for the guys and its officially called Steak and BJ day. The man gets to put his feet up and you serve him steak and then top it off by orally pleasing him (BJ). I laughed so hard when my friend told me on Saturday.

Speaking of said friend, we have a pact to talk every Saturday and its kinda cool.

Speaking of Saturday, this Saturday i was invited to lunch @ Benihana's. I'm so glad i didn't refuse, cos i really wanted to. Here's why - :)

Meanwhile my sister in Naij is being loved, by all my friends that she met while i was in Naij. I love my friends.

I love Linda Ikeji. No homo. That video of her and her sister dancing made me happy.

How is it that Jeremy Lin is not getting so much attention on blogger? Do you all not like sports? Or are you all just racist ehn? I'm happy for the dude. Happy they've lost a game too, so the pressure is reduced for him.

I think its funny - how a guy just looks at me oh so sexy, when prior he just looked at me like a regular human being - once i start spewing about sports. I am very passionate about my sports sha :)

I argue that racial words like nigga and chink are only as powerful as you make it. What do you say?

How is it that folks on NCIS can use their phone in the elevator and we can't in the real world?

My friend invited me to game night thingy and it was actually really fun. Which i did not expect since i don't do new people.

Decided to not just sit at home and will be volunteering twice a week, actually my Pastor asked and i couldn't say no. My friend keeps laughing at me, that i've become one of those girls who is now doing church, so i can find man to marry. Lol.

Finally met someone, who said "yo, i want you to work with me," met up with him and by the next day, sent me documents et all, and we've been working. I love that and i'm so excited. Other than ayo (wpgm), most people come at me, "o let's do this and do that" and they get you so excited and you ask them to send this and till today, no word.

Like another example, i hear of these two babes who sing. I ask both of them to send me their info and song. The one sent me the song and info, asked me questions and from that i had her come on the show on Saturday. Then today i got an email from her saying thank you. The other, i am yet to get any response from her after the initial excitement.  Just interesting how people behave, you know.

I love my radio show :). Its good music and i'm proud. I pray its get bigger, but i really don't want to put my face to it. O well.

I think its funny that my ex of so many years, thinks based on that he doesn't have to try and "woo" me or at least keep communication constant, talking about "if its meant to be, it will be" - nothing is meant to be, so ain't nothing being. Lol, but seriously woe unto guys being all lackluster in trying to be with me. This vals day some girls were getting Loubs and shit, not trying to be a money person, but i'm just saying. I'll swear for you, if you are coming at me, like i'm any kind of girl.

You can't say you are there, you have to BE there.

How do you know the line between a guy buzzing you just because he needs attention and when he is doing it because he really still cares?

Going all out for Lent - No twitter, tumblr, instagram - started already. Keeping Facebook, cos i hate to miss folks birthday. And i would have done bbm, but that is truly work related - but imma do no constant status updates or changing pics, except when i change it for someone's bday.  - Wait are we supposed to be letting the whole world now, that we are fasting et al? Not sure what the rules are, will ask my Pastor tomorrow.

Going to Michigan next week. I'm burnt tho, cos my bro will be away the entire week i'm there and he's the one i have not seen in so long. Going to help my sis, do her applications for Uni and her hair and she gets to cook for me :).

I wear my wristwatch on my right hand now. Its taken a mental adjustment.

I am learning conversational French. I have employed my sister and my friend to help me. Will be fluent in french by the end of the year and then Spanish too, as soon as i find someone to help me with that.

O i taught my friend, who is well versed with computer and codes and shit, something about emails today and i was happy, cos i always feel unsmart when i'm asking him questions.

People keep asking me about parties and going out and i can't understand why they don't get that my not going to school/work/no money having self should be ashamed to be seen outside, even though i have the clothes and shoes for it.

Hard not to feel like a failure, hard not to say some things at God, but i keep trying to praise God you know. Which reminds me Ron Kenoly Jr (you all know his dad right?) was at my church on Friday. He is sooooo fine. I just kept thinking he was looking at me sha, cos his eyes were posted in my direction. He is tatted up tho and i wondered if his dad fought with him about that?

Talking to my friend about losing loved ones tonight. Its sad sha. May we not experience sudden death amongst us this year and onward in Jesus Name. Our parents will not bury us, and our siblings and relations in Jesus Name. Amen

FX has the movies - for real.

Snow indoors tho - Tiwa and Flavour? Like when they brought the concept to you, couldn't you say no, lets make sure its outside. But sha sha, Flavou's body ain't even bad at all. Will just cover his face is all.

Nways i think that's it guys. :* :* :*

P.S I Love You

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Praise Wednesday - Poem by Oyinbo

I've always referred to it as Crucible
For in it our flaming emotions boil
In it our big ideas broil
Even there, our thoughts & emotions dwell

Here (the mind) is where YOU are
Here is also where WHO YOU want to be stands
Indeed, here is where who you think you should be wanders
Still,here is where who you should be sleeps

The decisions you make, the ones you don't
The ones you ought to, the ones you can't
All controlled by this thing, so little, the MIND
The self-condemnation, the self-pity
The crippled will-power, the low self-esteem
All dictated by this thing, so little, the MIND

Victory over the mind
...What seems impossible
...Lies within
...In the mind

You ALONE can control this mind that so easily controls you
You ALONE can make up YOUR MIND to RE-MAKE your Mind.
For in it, lies the YOU the world awaits.
In it, the ideas that will leave your name carved in a stone
Still, in it is a character worth impersonating
Then a little prayer to seal the deal.

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it comes the issues of life
The one thing that causes a struggle in the christian walk is the mind
It tells you that you can't do it, that you can't stay away from sin
And when you stray, it says HE will never forgive you.
Get angry at your mind & you tell 'it' like you would tell that boss who just got on your last nerve.
You can do it, you can stay away from sin or else the Bible wouldn't have said 'Be hold as I AM holy'
You can be great, you can get an A in that course
You can discipline yourself to stop drinking soda, to stick to your work out routine.
Take Charge of this thing we call the MIND.

- Oyinbo

Wow, my family members make me proud. That was a poem by my baby sister, and i don't think i have anything else to add. It has come at an appropraite time in my own life right now, so will be taking heed to it myself. I hope it helps someone today.

Have a great rest of the week. God bless you

P.S I Love You

Monday, February 13, 2012

Memories + Music Monday

10 years ago on Tuesday, i was in Ibadan - have i told you guys about Ibadan? (story for another day)

Anyways, i'm dating MOBY and in a school of just about 50, everybody knows this. So girls in his class, and girls in my class, all the way to girls in JSS1 and even boys too have teased me all week long about upcoming valentine's day. Before that i had never celebrated it, even telling the guy who liked me at some point in time not to get me anything (Just goes to show that my not collecting things from guys is ingrained).

Now being in Ibadan meant i didn't have access to any money and MOBY"s birthday is four days after vals, so i'm fretting here and trying to downplay the whole situation because i didn't want to not be able to give him anything for vals and his birthday. So i'm making a very big deal of telling everyone including him, that i am not interested, its just a normal day bla bla.

Now if i remember correctly, Val's day was on a Friday, so you can imagine the torture all week. Fast forward to Friday and we act as normal as possible, except the whole school is buzzing. Who got what? Who did what? and all that. MOBY was a day student, so he was the resident worker assigned to getting what we needed outside of school. My ulcer used to be very bad then and i wouldn't eat school food, so he and my best friend J will go get me bread and suya, every so often. But he pretty much helped the entire school get things they needed, especially Mr Biggs (There was no tantalizers in IB back then, lol) and its why everybody loves him, he remains the nicest sweetest man i have ever known.

So on Friday, i see him briefly and we chat, but he was busy the entire day, and by the time i had to go back to the dorms, he had left on yet another errand. He comes back later at night, but the house mistress (evil woman) would not let me come out (only me btw, not any one else, lol) and so with all the anticipation from the entire school, and then nothing happening, i could not lie, i was a lil disappointed.

The next morning after devotions, a couple of my friends go into school from dorms and i had just gotten out of the shower, when i heard the screams. AYOMIDE (that's what everybody in IB knows me as) OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!. I cried, when i saw it all. I got flowers, and chocolate and a cake and a perfume (This is why i love anything Lancome) cards and a teddy bear. He didn't have to, he knew i did not care and i told him i had no money to get him anything back, especially cos his birthday was coming up and he did not care.

I will never think of Valentine's day and not think of that day. I can't believe its been ten years. Will definitely call him up and laugh with him on vals day about this.

My point of sharing this story with you?.....

When i heard Whitney died, my immediate thought was BB. I had her last album (The only album i actually bought in years, got it the very day it came out), and we were on the phone the entire length of the album and he sang to me. Music was so much our thing that i can't think of certain artists - Akon, Rock City, Da Grin, Wizkid, Laura Izibor etc and not think of him. The same way i cannot think of Valentine's day and not think of every detail of this day with MOBY. Like i think, even if its the day i get married, or my kids' birthday, no matter how monumental the event is, valentines day will always trigger memories of him. The same way the songs will trigger memories of BB.

And so i have decided, that henceforth i am going to be cognizant of who i make certain memories with, because i never want to think of that memory with regret or sadness or wistfully. You see i can call MOBY up now and we will laugh and tell each other how much we still care. I buzzed BB on bbm and just said Whitney is dead, didn't have to say much else, but we couldn't talk you know?

So on all these adventurous things i want to do in my life, i am going to make the memories with certain people, so they always bring me joy, even if they leave this world. I think that's important. Or i do things alone (That's more my style anyways)


Couldn't watch the Grammy's - It hurt too much, Whitney Houston made me happy. I put on her cd and happily drove 10hours to Canada. It was bliss. Sigh!!. You know how everybody is listening to her songs? It will take me a very long time to listen to a Whitney song again.

I caught the Nicki Minaj act tho and nearly died of laughter - May God forgive that child.

BB and i had a civil and nice end to whatever it was that we did - i was watching something and they said its impossible, and the only way that happens is if you don't care for each other. What do you guys think? I disagree. I mean we are adults afterall.

Happy Single Awareness day in advance. Can't believe i have been single now 4 years (Unofficial talking is not counted obviously) - Long ass time. Have fun guys, be safe,  God Bless and have a great week.


P.S I Love You

Thursday, February 9, 2012


Imagine this scenario and really take a minute to think about it.

27 year old girl, she's been with her man for 4 years, he is also 27, committed loving relationship and all. She just moved away for a job opportunity that she would have been a fool to pass up. For the first time in four years, she won't get to see her man, every other weekend. Said man then decides you know what, its time to do my own thing, i'm tired of working for the man. Here's what i'm going to do, i'm going to quit my job, go back to school, so i can work on my art during my spare time, sell my car since the city i'm going to has good transportation and stay in my boy's basement in the meantime. The program is a three year program and that should give me enough time to have set up, be independent and all that.

Now, the questions are?

From the woman's perspective - Is it wise to wait? - Consider that this is the man of her dreams, and there's the extreme pressure from family telling her, she's getting older and she needs to get married? I just got this job, i can't move. I love him.

From the man's perspective - Am i being selfish if i tell her to hold on? Maybe i should let her go, because there are no guarantees? I'm also moving to a totally different city. I just don't see how this will work, because of the distance and less time. I love her.

Is the man being a coward? Does he not love her enough? Or is using this is an excuse to quit? Is love enough?

What are the logistics to make this thing work? Who suffers? Who benefits?

There's only one rule - Don't look at this from a christian/faith perspective.

How is it that people think its ok, to insult one or disrespect one for having a different opinion. It's one of the reasons i don't comment on blogs, because i will be compelled to insult you and your family to the fourth generation for doing such. Is this just me? I don't tolerate it, you insult or disrespect me once because i have an opinion different from yours, you simply no longer exist in my life. I mean my best friend and i, we argue all the time "o, you listen to me" "no you listen to me' -we never agree. I have never insulted her or disrespected her.

This is what happened yesterday and the person goes "Wetin you de feel like?"

I am feeling like someone who doesn't think i should like something because majority of folks like it. I am feeling like someone with a brain who can make a rational decision to say, you know what i think this is mediocre and not up to par for what i think great standards should be. I am thinking that my opinion does not make me better than you and i will never think that to be the case. I am thinking that you thinking your opinion is all that matters, makes you a very small minded person and the argument that other people like what you like as an addition makes it even worse.

That's what i'm feeling like.

There you have it, looking forward to your responses.

P.S I Love You.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Praise Wednesday

Yesterday i saw something on twitter that i thought was the most profound thing i had seen in a while... @_PePe: What would you have if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday??

Take a minute to think about it....

I did when i saw that and i realized that i had not prayed the day before. I had read my bible, said something like Thank You Jesus for everything and that was the end of that. Now maybe that was an all inclusive prayer so maybe i would still have everything, but it made me realize something.

I am not deserving... I am simply not deserving of the favor and mercy and grace that the Lord bestows to me each and everyday. Are you?

Have you properly thanked God lately, for all he has done both great and small. For protection and mercy and provision and favor and blessings, good health, food to eat, a place to live, the friends you have, your family, your job, your church, your country? Have you thanked him?

So today there is no song, i want you to stop whatever it is you are doing and give a song of praise from your heart and open your mouth and thank him. Thank him for what he has done, thank him for what he is doing, thank him in advance for what he is yet to do. Thank him for your health, your education, your career, your job - if you are like me, with no job, thank him for the job he is bringing your way. Be specific, thank him for your future husband/wife if you are unmarried. Thank him for your siblings and parents and extended family. Thank him for protecting you, for providing for you.

Thank him for EVERYTHING!!! Just open up your mouth and thank him, not because you want him to give you everything you thank him for tomorrow, but because he deserves it, and think about this if you praise him for the little he has given you, do you not think he will give you infinitely so much more.

May God answer our prayers in Jesus Name.

P.S I Love You

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A quick recap + New Year Plans


Hi everyone... I feel so rusty and i don't know where to start. Let's do a quick recap of last year yea, but before i go on ---Hell Yeah! Go NY GIANTS!!! I was like the happiest girl ever, screaming like a banshee.. Like earlier in the day at church, someone had said Go Giants! and i screamed. AT CHURCH. I even prayed and all and i'm still so happy, i'm going to the victory parade tomorrow. - Is it bad, that i secretly said Thank God, i don't have a job? lol.

So school was pretty decent last semester right, two easy classes, one class that you get to publish a paper which is due this year, and then my past (In Jesus Name) nemesis - Bio-statistics this particular one being Regression. As long as i have been on this blog and in school, i have talked about one form of this class or the other, and still always managed to do well. My first semester PhD, i straight up cried for the one - Categorical Data Analysis, even then i did decent. Well this one, i did not cry because i honestly felt that if my Professor was any good, i would have done well, it was a struggle, and i am yet to see my final grade( i have a hold) but i hear she curved which means i should get like a B. The problem is i got nothing out of the class so whatever be the case, i would have to retake this class, because it will be very useful in my future data analysis.

Speaking of future.... but i will be digressing, so lets just get back to last year

So like you know - failed relationship, struggling with my faith and spiritual life, no financial life to speak of (Thank God for you guys and friends) - and just generally feeling depressed and damn near suicidal sometimes - Last year was hard. God forbid any year in my life be ever as half as hard, in Jesus Name. So i threatened my mum and my dad and told them i needed to come home. The money for my ticket which i got late, but still cheap Thank God, was meant to be put into my school fees, but i had to go and i still think it was a wise thing to do.

The trip there was ok, a couple people i know were on my flight (Damsel said she saw me and did not say hi, i will still beat her when i see her) and i was happy to see my mum and sister at the airport. I stayed at my mums, but i saw my dad often and talked to him often - almost became a problem, but i think it was all good. The thing about Nigeria was i didn't go there with a single dime, so i had no grand illusions of balling, but i knew i would have fun still and i did. I went to Ibadan with my best friend and my sister and sigh Ibadan Boys >>>> Lagos boys all day everyday. Those guys know how to take care of a girl, or maybe its cause they love me sha. I did not do any major events in Nigeria - only attended Chef Fregz, Naked Convos and a very wack Industry Nite. I only went clubbing once - Reeds then Liquid (abi how is it spelt?).

But i had fun men. Went with my mum to the movies and really just enjoyed chilling with her - the Monday before i was meant to leave, we drove from Ajao Estate to Ogudu to Ikoyi and back to Ikeja and this was at night and you shoulda heard my mum fretting. Omygoodness, she was so afraid still, it was hilarious, she is not allowed to drive at night sha, cos somehow she forgets the road at night, lol. I took my sister with me everywhere, and she got to meet great people i call friends. So interesting enough, i did not meet one new person. Everyone i met up with/chilled with, were people i knew from here, people i knew when i lived in Naija, and those i had met via twitter/bbm/blogger that i wanted to meet. I didn't tell people i was coming or going, so i only saw a handful of people and i saw them repeatedly.

I was sick for a while, with me unable to speak for a week, which as quite hilarious cos i was still going out, lol and i ate a lot, walahi i ate yam every single day. The peppered snail i ate on the day i was leaving will hold me down for another 6months. And the only boys that seemed to have interest in me (well duh, i didn't go anywhere) were old loves. - My friend said i have juju and that's why they can't ever forget me. Lol, i hope not, cos none of them want to put a ring on it (which reminds me, my belly ring came off and my mum made me take off my ankle chain)  But still it was nice seeing everyone. Physically seeing my ex was nice. Physically seeing everyone was nice, skype, facetime, convos, nothing makes up for the hugs and the smiles and the touches and the kisses, eating together, praying together. I needed it..

I needed it, because now i'm back now and i'm refreshed, ready for whatever the year might bring. Already this year i am not able to go to school this semester (Thank God for research) and still no job, and that could have brought me down, but i'm honestly happy and see this is an opportunity. For what, i am not yet sure, but i'm ready. This year already a lot of people, close people, people who know me, have questioned my decision to continue with this PhD and not just starting a career in the entertainment industry and its a question i'm pondering and waiting for God to lead me on. I have started my education, i want to finish and at the end of the day i do not believe i am yet ready to go to Nigeria with no money of my own. So many things to ponder and pray about and i am waiting on God to show me the way, especially by making the things i am doing right now successful.

Ok this is getting long but briefly let me say....

I miss the siblings in Michigan and need to go see them real quick. The plan for this year is to be more involved in my church, grow spiritually, grow financially, expand my horizon, make good use of every opportunity, remain single, but read books and even attend events that might help me on the way of relationships and marriage, publish my required paper and maybe even one more, go back to school, continue to be a good friend and sister, be helpful, get a job, lose some weight, get my own place, help with getting my mama a new car and maybe even the bro, write a whole lot more, maybe even finish my book, be consistent with my radio show and my weekly posts for wpgm, be successful at everything i do, communicate with my dad more, be celibate and most importantly BE HAPPY!!!

So That's it (I think)... will get back to the fun stuff you love about me in the next post...

Ironically my ugly face :) got fresher in Nigeria and already is filled with spots on getting here. On the flip side my fine gorgeous nails, looked like shit in Nigeria, always breaking and steez and has gotten back to looking sexy since i've been back. 

P.S I Love You

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Happy New Year + Praise Wednesday by Bold & Beautiful

Happy New Year!!!

                It's February and i'm saying happy new year, how bad is that? Its been over two months since i've been here and i can hardly believe it myself. I itched to write so much, i made my mum get internet for me while i was home in Nigeria, but apart from how slow it could be, the words did not just come out like i wanted it to. I have missed you guys sorely tho and i have so much to tell you - My final days of classes last semester, my one month trip in Nigeria, the plans for the year, research, relationships,family, friends, work, church, God, finishing up my story, maybe starting another one. It should be fun :)

We are starting off with Praise Wednesday and i have employed both my sisters - Bold & Beautiful and Oyinbo to do this as well, so this will be a guaranteed regular this year, if nothing at all. Need to find a way to include my brother now.

I hope all is well with each and everyone of you. I hope you are safe and happy and warm. I pray that this year, things shall be easy for you and all your dreams will come through, in every way of your life in Jesus Name. Have a great rest of the week and Happy Single Awareness month :)

Praise Wednesday
      by Bold & Beautiful

Many times I ask myself what particular reason I have to praise God especially when it seems like He hasn't answered my prayers. The truth is that there are times when it seems like there is no reason for us to praise God because things are going from bad to worse in our lives. When I begin to feel this way and I can't pray or don't even feel like saying nice things to God or thanking him for the little things in my life, I listen to my "love songs",they remind me of God's unconditional and unfathomable love for me. They remind me that I didn't and can never do anything to deserve His love & may never understand why He is the only one that loves me this way. Romans 8:38-39 says that nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus. These songs help me realize that this Love is enough reason for me to praise Him.
Here are a few of them:

Anthem Lights - Can't get over you

David Crowder band - How he loves

Jesus Culture - Your love never fails

Brandon Heath - Your Love

Rebecca St James - Song of Love

May you be uplifted in Jesus Name.

P.s please join me on Saturday @ 3pm Est on to listen to the best songs from emerging Artists out of Africa - just click here -

P.s.s. I still truly love you :* :)